Do note that some guidance counselors can be supportive. My D went to a large, suburban public school. It had a strong music and theater program. Every year there were a dozen or so serious kids going down the audition route. While the guidance counselor could not help with school choice (she correctly pointed us to the music teachers), she did know that the process was different and that school would be missed. Her attitude was “tell me what you need and I’ll make it happen, we want your D to be successful”. She also made it clear that she would intervene with any “missed day issues” from the district and/or teachers. And she did.
So not all guidance counselors are the same. Some are giving a different messages. My D did the majority of communication but I would have felt comfortable asking any questions. And…it’s been some years ago for me…but I don’t remember a message that parent should not be involved at all…as maybe a lot of kids would get nowhere fast these days. It’s not like when I went to college when all I had to do was fog a mirror and write a check! Still … in my memory there were certainly messages about “not doing the process for your kid” while they sit on the couch eating donuts and watching sponge bob. They have to be an active participant with reasonable guidance from a parent. So if you are getting the message of a complete hands off, other people are getting a different message.
I will say that music parents do run the risk of getting too involved so parents should check themselves and be sure they are not leading the charge and can let go. It is easy to think “WE’re auditioning at that school! Do you know how much time, money and emotions WE’ve invested in this!!! And WE only have 1 acceptance!!!” This could happen in feb when everyone is exhausted and not at their rational best. So…just be aware. Hopefully you’ll be as exhausted as your kid…and will be glad they made the call. It just should not be you (unless your kids health or grades are at stake where you may need to be the parent and pull the plug).