@glassharmonica 's view on perspective shifting is interesting!
‘Every cloud has a silver lining.’ When S changed to a school with more rigorous academics before his sophomore year in high school, the immediate impact worried me. Without the close friends with whom he had grown up for the past 10 years, he became so demotivated in the first week that I started feeling guilty of helping him make this decision (kindly not ask why but at that time circumstances made this a rational action). What worsened the situation was the lack of advanced-level music kids and ensembles in the new school, which set a big contrast to his old school.
Looking back, though S did lose opportunities for playing with devoted musicians in school ensembles, what he (and I) didn’t realize at that time was that a lot of doors were slowly opening up. In the past 2 years, he took another path and was frequently performing on stage as an accompanist or soloist at school functions. He also moved behind the scene composing film scores for his schoolmates taking IB Film and developing original music for school plays and musicals.
I agree with @MusakParent that we parents shouldn’t be too harsh on ourselves. I just wish I could see the ‘silver lining’ sooner than later.