<p>Intellectually, I can accept what you’ve said here. Emotionally, I have a hard time with this when it comes to young children. It does seem selfish to not seek or accept help (recognizing that one cannot cure oneself) when one’s children are showing clear signs that their health is deteriorating due to actions/inactions of the parent. This would go for any illness/addiction of the parent which extends to harming the children-ask for help, and certainly don’t refuse it when offered when your child’s health lies in the balance.</p>
<p>As I said, I would not be a good psychologist. On the show I watched today, the organizer came along with a psychologist, not in her stead.</p>
<p>As you pointed out, it seems that a prior loss of some kind is a common thread in many if not most of these hoarders.</p>
<p>In my family’s situation, it’s a combined thing. My MIL is definately suffering from a mental disorder with her hoarding; she practically cries when she has to get rid of something as insignificant as tattered and torn tissue paper (“couldn’t we use it again?”). On the other hand, she is what my husband calls a “leisure seeker.” Perhaps extreme hoarding like hers is caused by a lethal combination of both OCD/addiction AND laziness. There have been several times where I just wanted to yell at her “Get Off Your Duff and Throw Something Away!!”</p>
<p>^^Those pictures remind me so much of my MIL’s house. The weird connection between all of the houses - my MIL’s, that lady’s in the pictures, and some of the people on the TLC show - is that they all have acquired massive amounts of Xerox copy paper boxes. My MIL just loves how they stack all of her junk.</p>
<p>There was a case of this years ago when I was in grad school. People reported to the police that there was this little Toyota parked at the supermarket that appeared to be full of yapping dogs. By time the police and animal control officers arrived the owner had come out of the store, and the police found her holding a huge bag of dog food and pouring the dog food in through the half-open window of the car.</p>
<p>The authorities arrested her on suspicion of animal cruelty. And when they emptied the car out they found something like 23 dogs crammed into that little car.</p>
<p>Occasionally I find myself being sucked into watching Hoarders. I have had hoarder neighbors and I have one good friend who is a severe hoarder(she calls herself a collector, but REALLY when the vintage clothing is chest deep through the entire house, well…). Even though I know hoarders, it’s very tough understanding this extreme behavior that has such a devastating effect on families and friends. My big question----why are we so attracted to programs that exploit pathological behavior as entertainment?</p>
<p>I recently found out that an acquaintance from years back not only hoards but steals the stuff. Her friends in England where she moved back to, who I also know, were missing silverware, crystal pieces etc and apparently she also is an expert shoplifter. Quality stuff, including designer clothing…lol she has good taste. The bizarre thing though is that apparently her home is just awful, threadbare and tacky with cheap old furnishings, and she doesn’t use or display the stuff. She keeps all the stuff in the attic stuffed to the rafters, and in the basement.
The friend, who also just discovered all this, related that she is now “in trouble”…she was caught lifting stuff at Harrods.</p>
<p>I’ve noticed that I used the commercial breaks during these shows to clean out a drawer, closet or pile of papers. Guess I just don’t want that to be me.</p>
<p>TXmom, I’ve done this, too! After reading this thread on the bus, I came home and found just the perfect thing to throw out - an empty, almost five years old printer cartridge that DH has taken apart eons ago (so it became non-recyclable) and kept in the home office (WHY???).</p>
Actually now there seem to be three shows - Both A & E and TLC have hoarding shows, and the Clean House show. IMHO the shows where the person no longer has operating bathroom facilities are the hardest to understand. The shows where they are subjecting cats, dogs, or small children to these unhealthy conditions are when it really reaches the point of being inexcusable.</p>
<p>DW grew up in a very poor community where very little was thrown away. No trash pick up … no town dump. Hoarding would have been extremely difficult … money was such a scarce commodity. Is it affluence that facilitates the early stages of hoarding? I guess I’m drawing a parallel to drug addiction … there wasn’t much of a problem until people had sufficient money to purchase drugs regularly.</p>
<p>My in-laws are hoarders/collectors. Not to the point that their house is unlivable, just extremely cluttered, with a garage and basement packed floor to ceiling. It is very frustrating to DH as he periodically goes over to their house to try to help them throw things away. But they just can’t part with things - they might need it, or it has monetary value (very limited value, IMO), or it has sentimental value, etc. But we understand the roots of their illness. B both lived through WWII as children (one in Poland, one in Austria) and both families lost EVERYTHING in the war. His mother ended up in a refugee camp, with no personal belongings. She still talks about the doll that she lost when they were escaping from the Russians. I’m sure that severe trauma like that comes into play somehow.</p>
<p>I believe disorder is wider spread than most people realize. I am on an opposite side of spectrum, I would donate/pitch much more in our house than I am allowed. I cannot stand suff sitting around even if it represent some artistic value, makes me feel depressed. I cannot stand wires all over representing all kind of connections to all kind of electronic devices and chargers. I also absolutely hate shopping even for necessities. Without my constant check/control, I am not sure where we would be.</p>