<p>The comment wasn’t that#3 “seemed like the type to study a lot” but that [since] “it doesn’t seem that he did much after school…he had a lot of time to study.” It may be code for questioning the geom and trig grades in a kid who claims he loves science- and wants engineering.</p>
<h1>4 is a solid B kid and loses it when he calls the DL his “big accomplishment.” That seems to have been that prompt- and the essay is irrelevant to college.</h1>
<p>I’m not sure how much compassion played in 1999. But there are an awful lot of “I” statements in the samples and I agree, we need to know the prompt. </p>
<p>GMT, agree with you on the subjectivity. Didn’t know the backstory (but will look at the link.) The subjectivity doesn’t need to be feared, btw.</p>
<p>@sally: Eh, it was inartfully communicated maybe, but all I got out of that is that people versed in computers are positioned to do well in technology.</p>
<p>I don’t see a lot of compassion in the other essays, either, even when they are talking about community service. The essays read like the community service was done to show how great they are.</p>
<p>It’s amazing that other industrialized countries, like England, admit their college applicants on the basis of academic achievement, and we admit on the basis of kumbaya essays and/or prowess in rowing crew.</p>
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<p>Because that is such a compelling statement for a student applying to BERKELEY. </p>
<p>It surprises me that you didn’t see any evidence of compassion in the other essays.</p>
<p>Applicant 1: “My priority is to learn all there is to learn about the human body mainly because what I want to do is to help people who can not use their body the same way that I can because they have had an unfortunate accident. It is not fair we are all given all kinds of gifts, but without our bodies we are not able to use them.”</p>
<p>Applicant 2: “My sister lost her hearing when she was a baby and because of this I have a more sensitive perspective concerning those who are physically challenged and I have become a fairly proficient signer…I believe that my life thus far demonstrates my inclination to improve a situation, to leave a place better than I found it, and to speak up and speak out for issues in which I believe. I have the character and commitment to do the job well. Ultimately I believe my interests will lead me to a profession in which I will be able to help my community.”</p>
<p>Applicant 5: “My experiences growing up in poverty did not weaken me; instead they helped me develop confidence in my ability to transcend obstacles. As a result, I am able to handle many situations well and I try to prove that poverty-stricken people that have disastrous situations in their lives’ can break out of the norm. In relation to all of my most memorable speaking moments in my life, my future goals are to become a broadcast journalist so I can continue to dispel myths about poverty and race.”</p>
<p>I guess people will see what they want to see.</p>
<p>1999 is several lifetimes ago, in admissions. </p>
<p>GMT, I don’t see the Frontline link drawing any firm conclusions. CA has a problem, yes. Starts with its size.</p>
<p>Sally, I didn’t think any of them were hot. The “want to help people” line is so overused and so diluted, today. You get kids who can’t show they’ve done one iota for others. #1 is saying it and expecting to be believed. Pretty much the same for #2 and 5.</p>
<p>When the competition is fierce (and yes, my frame of reference is today,) just saying it isn’t enough, when thousands of others have gone out and done something. “Show, not tell.”</p>
<p>1999 may have been an eon ago, but according to the admissions reader’s account in the recent NYT article linked in post#1, nothing has changed. The readers are looking for certain formulaic things in the essays.</p>
<p>It is Frontline’s format not to vocalize any explicit conclusion. Frontline’s method is to be provocative.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t say any of them were the most fantastic essays I have ever read, but there was a self-centeredness to the third and fourth ones that, to me, weakened their overall applications. I also disagree that the “wanting to help people” is a subject people should avoid. How could a 17-year-old done anything meaningful with adaptive technologies to help the disabled before graduating from high school? Isn’t that the point of going to college…to gain the knowledge and tools to succeed in a career or calling?</p>
<p>Oh.yeah.right. We’ve discussed the author. She didn’t get it and how much does that really tell us?</p>
<p>Sally, they need to show something that says they do help others, not that they are currently bio-med engineers</p>
<p>Memo to teenage son:
Remember to mention in college admissions essay that u want to help the disabled.<br>
Do not mention love of science, unless u are a Siemens Science Finalist (then it’s ok)-- but then only mention science in the context of how u want to help the disabled.</p>
<p>Oh, like building thatched huts in Guatemala over spring break? On Mommy and Daddy’s dime?</p>
<p>Sorry to sound cynical, but I have yet to see a lot of significant contributions to the world among the teenagers I know or read about here. (And some kids, such as those who live in single-parent households and have to hold down part-time jobs, help raise younger siblings, and so on, do not have much time to help others on top of everything else.) I do pick up on the mindset of kids who either are or are not interested in things other than themselves, as well as a sense of entitlement among many of them.</p>
<p>GMT, that’s not the point and you know it. Obviously, the adcoms reached the same conclusions I did about the applicants profiled in the article. If you want your kids to get into college solely on the basis of academic achievement, have them apply to schools in Europe or schools here that admit simply on the basis of stats.</p>
<p>GMT, haha, no. Get him involved in some things that are not purely about self-interest or the high school social scene. Try to get him not to say, “I want to help the disabled” and then assume that’s enough for some adcom. Instead, get him to reflect on what he has actually done, beyond good stats and, well, the hs social arena. </p>
<p>Do not mention love of science it it’s among your weaker subjects or you didn’t go for rigor.</p>
<p>Yes, I fully agree w u that it is BS to travel to third world on mummy & daddy’s dime to build thatch huts.</p>
<p>I think the essay requirement as a whole is BS. For that matter, the entire holistic admissions scheme is BS.</p>
<p>Am seriously looking at schools in England.</p>
<p>For heaven’s sake, not huts on parental dimes. Not 11k to go hold orphan babies, then lounge by the hotel pool. Get off your duff and go do something for others. If a kid can’t figure it out, he can’t. And, if he can’t, what makes him so special? In a fiercely competitive pool of kids who can see need around them.</p>
<p>The essay is the great leveler. All the writings in the CA are tests. </p>
<p>Without the fuller look at how a kid thinks (if he thinks,) how he makes choices and whether they are simplex or complex, you are left with how well he aced his hs. Gawd. Sorry, but the most competitive U’s don’t “need” kids who perform well in one set of expectations only.</p>
<p>Prop 209 only bans race preference admission. It does not ban affirmative action! The State of Cali and the US government pour billions of dollars every year to subsidize the UC system. Now who are the main beneficiaries of UC, AA? Well the instate students who receive a subsidized education are the main beneficiaries. All races benefit from UC/AA. Considering this, is sounds a bit selfish and narrow minded for some to complain about holistic admissions with one hand but pulling in the subsidized education with two hands and both feet.</p>
<p>The applications should indeed include a personal statement to give applicants the chance to mention extenuating circumstances. But it’s not reasonable to truly know a person from an essay that is often times heavily edited or ghost written.</p>
<p>Remember the luxury yacht tax? Maybe CA should implement a luxury car tax and send it to the UC/CSU system- and libraries and schools. Or one on all those big homes.</p>
<p>A little old, but for you, Soso <a href=“http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/news/budgetmyths.pdf[/url]”>http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/news/budgetmyths.pdf</a></p>
<p>Nowadays many people who have money pay for college admission essays. If these essays are used to determine the future of the kids then what do we promote here?</p>