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<p>For sure.</p>
<p>Some of it is the kids too. New-found freedoms can sink kids too. Lack of organization skills (which should be taught by parents; schools as a last resort). There’s a ton of wasted money and time in your statistics for those paying the bills (taxpayers and parents).</p>
<p>We are also in the same boat. Son will not know until after finals if he will have enough credits to graduate. He crashed and burned first semester this year after 3 years of doing well. We all figured he had just taken on too much - 2 majors and 2 minors. He dropped one of the majors and figured he would be ok this semester, but is still struggling. His advisor finally convinced him to go to the counseling center. He says the counseling is helping but he still is struggling in the one class he needs to graduate. I don’t know what the issues are but we are both being supportive. The school doesn’t have summer session. He is looking into his options if he fails the class. He says he thinks he will be allowed to walk. We and his grandparents are planning on being there for graduation in 2 weeks. Guess we will just have to wait and see. </p>
<p>It is hard. He has always been a strong student and had hopes for entering a PhD program. That will be really tough now. Not sure what direction he will head. I just want to pull him into my lap and hold him like I did when he was little…</p>
<p>I think it’s great that the school is allowing your kid to “graduate” with his classmates.</p>
<p>I was one class short of my diploma requirements, an organic chemistry lab, which I took during the summer, but the school wouldn’t graduate me until the fall of the following year. As I was already married and working by then, I simply had my diploma mailed to me.</p>
<p>It didn’t make sense for me to travel a thousand miles to attend a ceremony in which they would say, College of Arts and Sciences, please stand up. </p>
<p>Your child’s college is to be commended for having the confidence in him that he will complete his remaining requirements and allowing him to share the happy day with his peers.</p>
<p>Thank you for all the supporting posts on this thread.</p>
<p>I’ll be sure to refer back to it as our son enters his freshman year in college.</p>
<p>Most schools allow and even expect students to walk with their class, even when it is already known that the student needs an entire semester’s worth of courses to actually get the degree. My friend’s D is in this situation. No big deal, and it sounds like your S has the right attitude. Take your cues from him.</p>
<p>Let’s keep things in perspective. Another friend’s D just walked around the block for the first time this week, since October, when she was hit by a car and suffered a traumatic brain injury. She won’t ever graduate from college. A few years ago a former student of mine was killed in a car crash (age 19) on her way back to school after winter break. Another’s S will graduate 2 or 3 years late, due to multiple hospitalizations in the psych ward over the last 3 years. </p>
<p>And you think you need help getting through this weekend? Count your blessings. Who cares about a delay in getting the piece of paper, really…? It’s easy for each of us to forget what’s really important when we’ve been privileged with a life of near perfection.</p>
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<p>You make that sound so easy, BCEagle. </p>
<p>Definitely, count your blessings, lololu. A good friend of mine’s daughter should have been graduating from an Ivy this spring. She passed away in a freak accident last fall. A child finishing up requirements a few months late is nothing compared to what some are having to go through.</p>
<p>Of course, there are far worse situations than a child not graduating on schedule. Doesn’t mean that it doesn’t make you miserable. I’ve been through close to the worst situations with my kids, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t blow my stack or get upset on the little things as well.</p>
<p>When the garbage is not taken out and has become fair game for the wild life, when the gas tank is on empty and I’m in a hurry, all of these little things get me upset. I’d have to be drugged to the max to smile about that. And I get just as mad at the kid I nearly lost when he pulls this crap, and, yes, though I am thankful he is alive, I will be disappointed if he does not graduate as planned.</p>
<p>I don’t think we need to be grateful for every disaster in life because there are those in worse predicaments. Not realistic. We should definitely put it in perspective which most of us do. A kid who is struggling but doing his best and keeping his parents in the loop like one of the posters’ is going to get more sympathy from the parents than the play/boy/girl who let’s the parent know at the last moment with no good reason other than the prof carries a scythe.</p>
<p>Definitely set your sights on a point 10 years in the future.</p>
<p>I swear…when my boys were in high school I fretted over stuff that…looking back…was barely a bump in the road.</p>
<p>You WILL make it through. HE will make it through.</p>
<p>And…it’s just grades. It’s just a piece of paper. It’s nothing that can’t be fixed. I feel that the overall, ‘We can get through this’, attitude is the important thing.</p>
<p>With my own boys I knew that there were far more lessons to be learned in college than just the ones they would attend classes for. </p>
<p>For your son this is one of the lessons college is teaching him. You CAN pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep moving towards the goal. That is a VERY important lesson for everyone in life!</p>
<p>I know plenty of people whom this happened to who went on to finish their coursework over the summer and have productive lives.</p>
<p>It happened to one of my good friends at Harvard. It served as a wake-up call for him. Somehow he had thought that his professors would excuse senioritis He finished his coursework over the summer and eventually got a doctorate from Columbia.</p>
<p>Most students who make it far enough to walk for graduation really do have the work ethic and brains to finish their coursework.</p>
<p>Just a quick thought here. At our son’s college graduation a couple of weeks ago, there was an asterisk next to the names of the students that would earn their diplomas in August. Might be something to think about with Grandma not knowing the full scoop.</p>
<p>This is a very minor wrinkle, especially since the kid has a plan in place to finish up needed credits over the summer. You have A LOT to celebrate!</p>
<p>We had both sets of grandparents with us at the graduation and to get good seats, we were in place a good hour before the ceremony - lot’s of time to read the program thoroughly. I don’t think a semester delay in getting a diploma is a big deal just that it might be better to give the Grandma a heads up BEFORE the ceremony. That’s not the drama that you want on the big day. JMHO</p>
<p>There are things that happen in life that are challenging, even heart-breaking, however do not fall into the category of ‘game-changers’. I won’t give you a laundry list of things that could be happening in your son’s life that could have truly life long ramifications, but this isn’t one of them.</p>
<p>I would cry, as you have. I would worry, as you have. I would wonder how the heck and I going to keep this together, as you are. You are not crawling into a ball and pulling the covers over your head. You are doing what you can to help your son move on from this wrinkle in his education. More importantly, you are addressing what led to it in the first place! Try not to worry long term about the career ramifications. Beyond his second job post college, most employers don’t even ask where he got his degree! Don’t worry about Grandma beyond telling her son needed a few extra credits to receive his diploma and that your son may be sensitive about the subject so you’d rather she not dwell on it. This is a celebration!</p>
<p>I will echo others, that graduating in four years is becoming less and less common. During the college rounds my question of ‘what percentage of students graduate in four years’ was met with varied answers. GATech made me laugh when they said ‘oh, we don’t push our students out in four years. We think of it as first year, second year, fifth year, and so on.’ I’m not trying to pick on GATech, their answer was just the one that I remember. As other posters pointed out, this happens because of travel abroad, classes that are not offered often, and yes, sometimes retaking credits…but for some they are from earlier years so their families know early on they will go an extra semester. My H went 5.5 years. I did not know him then. He was perfectly happy. He says it was due to a lot of ROTC hours and changed majors… I have never looked at his transcript and don’t care. He said the ONLY person who ever, ever questioned him on this was MY father when H asked to marry me! 
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<p>You are doing awesome! You will get through this weekend with flying colors!! Talk to your son before hand if it makes you feel more comfortable about anything he is concerned about and how you can make him more comfortable. After that, celebrate the accomplishment of your son’s college degree, a life lesson, and a rite of passage. Congratulations to your son and you ‘mom’! :)</p>
<p>So here I am the OP back to report. Things are definitely on the upswing.</p>
<p>First and best news of all - he got the job offer!!! Woo-hoo! It came through on Friday morning. We are keeping crossed fingers about the start date; the college career center advisor thinks it shouldn’t cause a problem and son is waiting to hear back from the company about the request for a delayed start date. The offer letter sounded like it was pretty flexible so we really hope it can be worked out - it’s the work he wants to do in the place he wants to live with a top 100 company. Again, I am now a huge supporter of paying top dollar for the name brand schools.</p>
<p>So that really made the weekend much much easier! DH said is was better to be almost graduated with a job offer than graduated without a job offer. So true.</p>
<p>DS only clarified the specific courses he needed to take last thing Friday afternoon; has one registered and is about to do the other today. He signed up for summer housing and I helped arrange temporary storage for some of his stuff (good thing too because it wouldn’t have fit into the car otherwise). Knowing about the job helped mitigate the fact that I didn’t know until shortly before we left home whether or not he would be coming home with us - turned out both courses are in the second summer session.</p>
<p>The actual ceremonies were fine in the end - perfect weather and absolutely no distinction between candidates (he received a diploma folder with a smiley face inside). In fact, at the diploma ceremony, the presenter said some students had graduated in December, some in May, and some would finish in August - so obviously there are others in the same situation. I attribute my 2 hours sleep the night before to worrying about Grandma being able to make it to all the events on Sunday and only a little to the surreality of the situation. She never had a clue; never asked to see the diploma. DS was in good spirits and enjoyed the events. I didn’t cry because, you know, he wasn’t actually graduating!</p>
<p>So now all I have to worry about is (1) will the company accept the delayed start date (2) will he actually pass the two courses this summer and (3) everything for the rest of his life :rolleyes:. We met with his career counselor and his personal counselor and they were both very positive about the future. So not out of the woods but getting there.</p>
<p>Quandry,</p>
<p>Great news! I hope things stay on the positive side for all of you!</p>
<p>So two of my three worries are done. The company did accept the delayed start date, and DS did complete all necessary credits and was certified as a graduate (his department dean kept track all summer - I do so love that school). Now all I have to worry about is the rest of his life! :eek: </p>
<p>In fact, he started work this week. I helped him drive his car out to the west coast (3 1/2 day trip) and fortunately did not need car service in Cheyenne (other thread from a month ago). He’s in temporary lodging and knows where he wants to rent an apartment; just waiting for the right one to open up. He’s not real thrilled with his actual work although he hasn’t really started doing it; he’s a “glass half empty” kind of guy so hope he gets more relaxed and enthusiastic. I helped review his benefits package and am very enthusiastic! :D</p>
<p>It was a great pleasure to spend eight days with him after seeing him so little in the last year, and with his hidden worries when he was home. I’ve been reading the threads of parents dropping their kids off at college for the first time; similar feelings here. And now I have a great excuse to fly out to the coast! Especially since my job was eliminated in a reorganization so I technically retired this summer and have lots of free time while I figure out if I’m still employable. With college paid for, the house essentially paid for, and the kid with a job…interesting times ahead!</p>
<p>Quandry, I’m SO glad to read your update. Nice to hear about some happy endings (or beginnings?)</p>