<p>I know exactly what you’re saying about the to-be verb deal…I had the same issue when writing my college essays. I’d suggest reading your essay out loud, as if you’re in an interview and someone says “tell me a story that shows me who you are.” If you would feel awkward saying any part of it out loud in an interview, change that part.</p>
<p>Also consider asking a favorite English teacher you’ve had to spend some time with you and your essay.</p>