The impression I get is that money is a driving factor. There were multiple vague references to the cost difference and comments about merit aid bringing the OOS cost “close” to the in state school before OP acknowledged that the difference is at least $40k more. The benefits of each school only matter if her parents are willing) able to pay the difference. Has she ever actually said that they are? If parents can’t/won’t pay, no reasons we can give will change their minds.