OP, we’re 12 hours away from Bama as well. I’m not sure where you’d be flying from, but from Chicago, flights are pretty convenient and reasonably priced if you book ahead of time (which you can usually do for published breaks). We got a Southwest credit card and earned points to use for travel to Alabama.
Winter sucks, Go to Bama. Just kidding, sort of! If you feel comfortable going away from home, and have the maturity to handle it, I would encourage you to go where you feel you have the best fit. I’ve been through it twice, and about to go through it again. My youngest wants to go across the country (a 36 hour car ride, LOL). If the time comes, she gets in her dream school, and that’s the best fit for her, I will not let my absolute SORROW of having my last baby so far away stand in her way. That’s why we laid all the framework for our kids… so they can live their dreams out… not ours.
Thanks for all the response! I will definetly use all your advice, and hopefully attend Alabama in the fall:). Right now, I am in the process of writing a list of reasons to attend Alabama over Iowa state. Thanks again!!
So if your parents are right that you would only plan to come home winter break and summer break, maybe see if you can offer to pay for a flight home for spring break and/or Thanksgiving, too. I don’t know what your financial situation is and how much of the cost you are covering vs. your parents for your cost of attendance, though.
One of our kids went to college too far to travel home for every vacation. She came home only at Christmas and in the summer. During Thanksgiving and the spring break, she didn’t travel home. We had relatives nearby, but she also had friends. In addition, during spring break, her school had community service trips they organized.
See what possibilities there are at Alabama. Check and make sure the dorms are open during breaks like Thanksgiving. Some are not.
And another thing to consider is that even if you were closer to home (as mine were) you might not come home for breaks. I remember the first time my DD decided not come home for fall break (and she was only 1.5 hours away) because she wanted the “chill time” with her friends. I was really disappointed but had to accept it.
You may well be spending summers away at jobs or internships, so your parents may just sense a “leaving the nest” earlier than they had prepared themselves for. It’s hard!
Is it a direct flight home?
Tug at their heartstrings at this point. Say you will be miserable in Iowa and that you need to spread your wings. Mom and dad you don’t want to see me succeed and be happy? With the Internet we will always be in contact. Offer to add them on find my friends if you have an iPhone. Promise to answer their calls and texts. I’d probably cry over it to for good measure. You need to make them understand you’ll be depressed and miserable at Iowa.
Although I think everyone is well meaning to say that the OP probably won’t go home for those shorts breaks, it seems like committing to them for the first year may be a way to get his parents on board. My kid across the country did come home for spring break unless we were on vacation with her. Thanksgiving travel is a hassle, but it seems like Alabama is only 1 time zone away. And from the academic calendar it appears that students have the day before Thanksgiving off, so travel becomes more possible than at my D’s LAC where they have classes on Wednesday. Tickets are expensive Thanksgiving weekend, so book early if you end up at Alabama.
Okay-playing devils advocate. I know lots of parents that cut off the travel at around 6 hours (or less) and, if the student is not paying for college themselves–I think it is well within their rights to do so.
You may be overlooking that even if you can fly/pay for the flights, etc going to a school that is not “drivable” adds a whole host of additional work for the REST of the family (moving in, coordinating flights/pick ups from the airport, what happens if you get sick/injured and need a family member, etc). Might be worth it if the opportunity is amazing (for instance, traveling 12 hours to attend Yale:-).
I think the problem here is that maybe they agreed to let you look when they possibly had no intention of letting you choose a school 12 hours away. If Alabama offers something significantly different than Iowa State (I am not that familiar with either, so maybe there is something I am overlooking) that may be the best angle to take–but on the surface there may not be differences that are significant enough for your parents. If your parents are paying for college-and you don’t think they are going to change their mind, my advice would be to start embracing Iowa State.
I think an honest, heart to heart, “I love you so much, but I really need to spread my wings. Please don’t hold me back” conversation is your best bet. My poor mother (many years ago) had to settle for her only child being a 6 hour plane flight away on the opposite coast, making just one phone call a week, and not coming home for Thanksgiving. Yet it was good for both of us, and I really did need to get away. She understood and didn’t want to stifle my independence. Let’s hope your parents see it the same way.
Did you get into the Honors College at Alabama?
Did you apply for University Fellows or CBHP/get in?
Do you know what your major would be?
I think the OP needs to sell her parents.
Perhaps here in an anonymous setting she can practice why Bama should be her destination.
OP needs to present facts and truly differentiate the schools and close her parents why her outcome will be better at Bama.
Yes, it is a parental mistake to lead the kid to believe that s/he can go to a college that the parents had no intention of letting the kid go to in the first place. This should have been conveyed before application time.
Read very carefully all the threads on the University of Alabama forum on this website, especially “schools my kid passed on to attend Alabama” and threads that describe outcomes, such as:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/university-alabama/1852574-do-students-from-the-university-of-alabama-receive-acceptance-to-medical-or-dental-school.html
Parents are reassured by good outcomes and want to know that going to college to a state that has a relatively bad reputation won’t hinder your success after college, no matter how great your 4 years there may be.
You may also PM a student from a prestige-conscious community, @Paul2752, who chose to attend Bama for financial reasons. He’ll tell you about the good and the bad.
You can also show all these threads to your parents.
If they wish, they could create an acount* for the specific purpose of asking parents here (@mom2collegekids, @lucieTheLakie …) about their kids’ experience at UA.
- Rules forbid them from "borrowing" your account. Kids and parents have to have separate accounts so that threads make sense to posters who see recurring posts by a student who suddenly says "I'm a parent" (and to avoid suspicion you're making something up :p).
And be open and honest with what is important to you. Each school has strengths and weaknesses.
Reach out to students in the major you plan to study via socia media.
Both schools have very high transfer out rates (24%) - ask the tough questions so you can make the right decision. Learn which school does a better job graduating freshman in 4 years in your desired major.
Here are two recent stories in the news from the schools:
http://www.iowastatedaily.com/news/politics_and_administration/article_db30b688-bf2c-11e5-ae71-2b160246df00.html
http://www.al.com/opinion/index.ssf/2015/10/university_of_alabama_must_add.html
I have served as an Alumni Outreach Advisor and not once did I ever try to sell anyone why to come to my school. I simply listened and helped guide them to determine what was important for them and help them find the answers to their questions. Be wary of anyone from any school that tries to convince you to attend.
Show your parents why you want Bama or Iowa State and backed with solid research and facts you should do well.
Why is there an assumption that the OP is female?
This is so tough. I empathize with parents who don’t want their kids to go too far away (however they define that). I think it’s important to understand the logistics of traveling to and from ANY school and to be open to the idea of traveling (or not) on most breaks.
In our situation, Bama was cheaper than our in-state flagship, so the travel costs involved (and for us that means, for the most part, direct flights and a short car ride from BHM) are not an issue and, frankly, are much preferred to a 4-hour drive to State College.
In the end, I left the choice up to my son (and I was thrilled he had choices!), and he surprised me when he chose Bama.
The other finalist (comparable in cost for us to PSU) was a school in MN, and our travel there was anything but easy. My son didn’t like the school anyway once we visited, but I won’t lie, I was thrilled we wouldn’t ever have to make that trip again for college, even though I loved the school and the area.
How far are you from an airport with easy flights to BHM? (Having seriously considered a school in Iowa for my kid, I know it’s not the easiest state to get around in or in and out of.)
I would make a pro/con list of both schools and share that with your folks. Highlight any opportunities Bama will afford you that Iowa State won’t. As others have suggested, share with them how important you believe it is for you to spread your wings, but also reassure them that just because you go to school in the South, it doesn’t mean you’re destined to remain there.
In the end, though, if your folks won’t budge, I would suggest deferring to their wishes. They’re paying the bills and they may have legitimate reasons for you to remain closer to home. Ideally, they would level with you with regard to what their specific objections actually are. Out of curiosity, did they attend college themselves?
It depends! Otherwise the closest major airport is 3 hours. Also thanks for the advice @ClarinetDad16
Its not a matter of if I’ll come home, its a matter of money and not being able to afford to come home for all breaks. Also I am a female! @intparent
Thanks for the advice! @profparent
I have been accepted to the honors college, I honestly don’t know what the next thing is, and my major is chemical engineering. And thanks for the advice! @MYOS1634
Thanks for the advice! And yes they did, my dad a 2 year school, my mom a small private 4 year institution and the she got her masters later as well. @LucieTheLakie
Well then, since you’ve been admitted to the Honors College, you have a ready-made point:
The UA Honors College is among the best in the entire country. 
Fellows and CBHP are Honors-within-Honors programs, but I’m guessing you didn’t know about them/didn’t apply - otherwise they’d have been good points for your defense, too.