<p>Swap apartments with a relative or friend for a wedding trip week, especially if they live someplace with tourist appeal. It can be their wedding gift. Or if they take their vacation week away then, as part of attending your wedding, you’re halfway scheduled already. </p>
<p>On plates: I recall reading one Native American tribe where visiting guests bring their own bowl and eating utensil to attend big community meals. If food runs low during the 3-day bash, some go out and hunt for more. Afterwards, they go home and handle their own dishwashing, too. So, choose your spouse wisely. </p>
<p>@emeraldkity–I understand why your neighbor calls his first cousins once removed his nieces & nephews……we do the same thing with the children of our close first cousins, even though we all know the relationship. The term ‘first cousin once removed’ just doesn’t roll off the tongue easily. </p>
<p>Several pages back there was a discussion about ribbon on cake. I should google that as I can’t picture it, but I am years from wedding planning. We had fresh roses on the basket weave cake, but I can’t recall who made the cake. The roses matched my bouquet and the clip I had made up to attach the long veil to my head. (Am sure there is a proper term for that veil attachment!) I had a second one made up for when the first one wilted but forget to change it out during the evening. Funny the things you can still recall twenty years later.</p>
<p>I recall the florist’s bill being $1500 and I kept it to that level by handling flowers for cocktail hour myself. I didn’t want to pay florist to create arrangements for one hour’s use on outdoor cocktail tables and ladies’ bathroom, so I schlepped dozens and dozens of roses out of NYC from one of those ‘Roses Only’ stores that were everywhere twenty years ago. My tiny car held my wedding dress and dozens of roses. It was actually fun to have a relatively simple DIY project the day before, although my brother who was enlisted to deliver the rose bowls to the club Sat morning might not have agreed.</p>
<p>Fun reading all of these stories and hearing the regional differences in customs and costs. </p>
<p>I only attended one true southern wedding and was continually impressed by the lavish cocktail hour. Imagine my surprise when I learned that was the entire wedding! It started out like a northern wedding at a country club but with heartier hors d’oeuvres, and ran for a couple of hours. I attended a Wash DC wedding a few years later and the cocktail hour ran for two hours so I thought that was the wedding. We were all bombed by the time the night was over as it included dinner after a two hour cocktail reception. </p>
<p>At the end of a company holiday (Christmas) party at a local hotel, they set up a chuppah and surprised us all as the owner married his girlfriend. That must have saved some money. Dessert was wedding cake.</p>
<p>My friends had their D and SIL do a camping honeymoon roadtrip, where they drove around they country, camping in a tent and staying with various relatives and friends. They were able to see a lot very inexpensively. One of their aunts gave them LOTs of new camping gear and gas gift cards for their wedding. </p>
<p>Sometimes, depending on the locale, you can pick a month that is off-season for weddings and off-season or shoulder season for your honeymoon destination, if you plan it right. That can be a way to save on a honeymoon. Most of my friends would just forgo the honeymoon, it doesn’t seem very important to my peers. I really wanted one if we could do it and wanted to do something we wouldn’t normally do. Cruises can be a good deal, too… I had my heart set on the Caribbean and a cruise would have cost me a lot less than the AI resort I actually booked. I’d never been on a cruise and wasn’t adventurous enough to try it for the first time on the honeymoon. But, if you are just looking for savings but are not on a shoestring budget, it can be worthwhile to watch for sales at the resorts… we are doing sandals which is by no means inexpensive but they run 65% off sales several times a year which helps-- like every 2-3 months it seems like. The cruise is still like half the price. And I’d guess camping or a week at a local beach or lake would be half of that!</p>
<p>And on the subject of timing your travel, I know a lot of people now who for various reasons did not take their honeymoon right after their wedding. Some people put it off a few months to save money or wait for better weather or better deals. I have some friends who have gotten married in the winter for savings on the wedding and then had their honeymoon that summer so they could enjoy our local beaches. Many states are blessed with local treasures that you can even take a week off and stay at home to enjoy. </p>
<p>A final thought on travel, we are leaving the Tuesday after our wedding because the airfare was incredibly less expensive than leaving on Sunday or Monday, and the flight options were better. </p>
<p>S & DIL still haven’t gone on a honeymoon – they have talked about various places, but neither loves travel that much. </p>
<p>We went to a small resort w/cabins in northern PA for three days – there were TWO other couples there. It was extremely low key and we wound up going out to forage for food because what they served was not terribly good or plentiful. On the day we left, the sheriff came and posted a foreclosure notice on out cabin. OK, then! Glad we didn’t spend a fortune or travel many miles…</p>
<p>We flew out to our honeymoon a few days after the wedding as well. The fares were better and we had a small gathering at my folks’ home on the afternoon after the wedding, where we ate leftovers and opened our wedding gifts. </p>
<p>My brother had his best man fly with them on their honeymoon. He wanted to share a room but fortunately was vetoed. My friend had ALL her groomsmen fly with them on her honeymoon! I thought these were not my idea of a good time. Ah well, it takes all kinds! The upside is that Bro & SisIL wrote ALL their thank you noted on their honeymoon. ;)</p>
<p>* thought these were not my idea of a good time*</p>
<p>I would have to agree.
Not a honeymoon, but it reminds me of a trip my sister in law & her first husband took to Disneyworld when their daughter was 5.
Only they left their daughter home with grandma & grandpa.
:-/ </p>
<p>Interesting about the differences in honeymoon/no honeymoon. Perhaps is influenced in part by the age of the bride/groom , their work and financial situation. We were older when we married, and took a lovely honeymoon. We have friends who were finishing medical school residencies and couldnt take the time off for a honeymoon until several years later.</p>
<p>My cousin’s new wife brought her entire extended family with them on their honeymoon to Hawaii, they made it their annual family vacation and spent the whole trip together. Cousin was really not happy about it before the wedding. It sounds like they had a lot of fun in the end, so he must have gotten over it. I guess that’s just how her family is and he knew that going in, so… marriage is all about compromises I guess!</p>
<p>I have to skip my annual family vacation to go on the honeymoon, so I can ALMOST understand the impulse to do that… we’ve been going to FL with my parents every year and got engaged on last year’s trip, so I am a tiny bit disappointed to not be going this year. We have friends there that will want to meet my new H. But this will be the first big vacation we’ve taken by ourselves, and with kids on the horizon maybe the last for a long time. After all the wedding craziness and the awful horrible year we have had, I am looking forward to some alone time far, far away from the rest of our lives. I just hope a week is long enough! ;)</p>
<p>In my church community, a number of people have had reception POTLUCKS. One bride even provided recipes and told guests what they were to make. No. JUST NO. I would rather have had punch and cake. When DH and I got married, we had to pay 100% for our wedding and I had recently finished law school with only loans and no job. At our modest wedding, all the guests fit on the chancel (I think there were under a dozen of us total) and we took everyone out for lunch afterwards. DD20 (who currently has no BF) is taken in by the whole wedding industry and at her campus job works with one or more gals who are planning their wedding. Sorry kiddo; we ain’t paying above our means, but no, no, no, no potluck even if it may be socially acceptable in our circle. Big splash doesn’t mean the marriage will last. I, personally, prefer modesty in dress and weddings. Plus, I hate crowds. </p>
I agree. How tacky! Potlucks for a wedding mean the guests have to share in the hospitality, and it is supposed to be the bride and groom (and/or families) that providing the hospitality. Were the attendees also expected to provide gifts? </p>
<p>Update: D2’s fiance got his mother to edit their guest list and they are close enough to our number…within 20…that we will settle for it. Not worth getting upset about now.</p>
<p>Showers: around here Brides’s mother never hosts shower. D2’s showers are being hosted by D1 (Maid of Honor)) and a close friend of mine and then there is another shower hosted by MOG’s family. The showers are the beginning of April and the end of April! The clock is ticking! </p>
<p>Brunch: We will host a brunch the day after the wedding. Gifts are usually opened then but D1 doesn’t like being the center of attention so that plan could change. I will serve fresh blueberry baked french toast, fruit, hash browns, bagels/muffins and have a mimosa bar. Only wedding party and family members will be invited.</p>
<p>To save on floral costs I am making small arrangements for the cocktail hour tables. We will use the same vases that are part of the shower decorations and I plan on using the hydrangeas from my garden mixed with dusty miller that I will plant this spring. I may try to grow some succulents to use also. </p>
<p>Some of you may be shocked but they will not have a traditional wedding cake. Neither the bride or groom likes cake but they love cookies and milk. They are having an Oreo “cake” made. There will also be martini glasses filled with milk alongside the tower of cookies. Of course there will also be a dessert table for those so inclined. </p>
<p>We are DIYing a few small projects like seating chart, signs, banners, card box and place cards. </p>
<p>I am starting to panic thinking of what I still need to do…find a dress! ;)</p>
<p>If you have a good blueberry baked french toast recipe I would be interested in that for our brunch! I love blueberry, I’ve never tried blueberry french toast. I’ve never attempted to convert one of these baked french toast recipes to dairy free either but I want to try, I think it can be done. Worst comes to worst I will make it with milk for everyone else and just eat a bagel myself.</p>
<p>All I have left is deciding on all the music to give the DJ for the ceremony and the “special” dances, assembling the invitations (small craft project), buy unity candle, get new glasses, decide on hair style, decide on make up, buy shoes and jewelry, deliver ribbons to cake lady (that crisis has been solved supposedly), and then I think I am done. I ordered the invitations this week and finished the final draft of the ceremony. The first wedding gifts are arriving at the house. If only I could lose 10 more pounds, I would finally be ready! </p>
<p>Though our to do list is relatively small I am starting to panic a bit, I think I have a different appointment every day for the next two months. I have to figure out how far in advance I need to book our tours and things at the resort for the honeymoon, too. And go shopping, I’ve lost 30lbs and none of my clothes fit, I need a dress for the shower and rehearsal dinner and clothes to bring on the honeymoon. And a swimsuit. And I think I may need to start holding groomsmen at gunpoint to get tux fittings done, their deadline is in two days and nobody has gone yet. I should have lied and told them the deadline was last week, I never imagined it would take them over a month to go. My grandpa can’t get fitted because he is in the hospital with a “cardiac event” not otherwise specified. My other grandpa died in August right after we got engaged and I am completely heartbroken that he won’t be at the wedding so you can imagine my state of mind. The bridesmaids dresses are over two months late being delivered, hopefully they are prompt about fitting and alterations once they do come in. </p>
<p>I am coveting a $200 set of waterford toasting flutes. They’re purple. My mom basically threatened to disown me if I bought them. It is a lot more fun to think about purple crystal toasting flutes and blueberry french toast than it is to think about kidnapping groomsmen and swimsuit shopping.</p>
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