I’m not sure if this is a question or more of a vent.
Last year mil and ds both came for Thanksgiving. Fil passed away last August, so mil came and spent eight nights with us. Ds spent four or five - one day beyond when mil was here- she came much earlier.
We live in a 2 BR/2 BA condo, and I must say, that having grandmother and grandson here at the same time never occurred to me when we did our big downsize. Fortunately, we have friends in the building who traveled last year for Thanksgiving, so we put ds up in their unit, using it as overflow. It worked out great because they were able to use our unit as overflow for their family at Christmas when we were traveling. However, we (and they) aren’t sure if they are traveling this year for Thanksgiving or not. So, we may be able to use their unit again, but we may not. If we cannot use their unit, we will have to rent something.
Undoubtedly, mil will have a longer visit than ds will. Dh feels like asking mil to stay elsewhere will “hurt her feelings.” Since her visit will be longer, it would also cost us more to put her up than ds. TBH, I am hoping she doesn’t stay quite as long this visit, but I imagine she will. I think she feels like she has to stay awhile to get “value” out of her flight cost. The length of her stay is another issue. Anyway, it kind of bugs me that dh’s mother gets to “trump” ds. I’m not sure why as ds did stay in the friend’s condo last year. However, it is on-site. We would do our best to get something that was at least in walking distance. We can’t rent another unit in our building because the minimum rental period here is 30 days. I guess I didn’t anticipate that not having ds under our roof at Thanksgiving was going to be an ongoing issue. It’s just sort of this forgone conclusion she will always be spending TG with us from now on.
I guess my question is - Should this bother me? I will add that I do, for the most part, enjoy my mother-in-law. It’s just that ds is now on the opposite coast, and we see him less frequently than we see mil.
Also, as a more general question - how long do you have guests in your home? The max we have ever stayed with anyone (including in-laws) has been four nights.