How do you "package" a kid?

Parents Forum
81

I could be wrong but where “packaging” really helps is in admissions to top schools with very low admit rates. Almost all of the applicants have excellent GPA/test scores so how do they distinguish among the best and brightest? Packaging can help bring all of the ECs, awards, leaderships postions, depth of interests, etc. together to tell a compelling narrative for the applicant.

Does a normal applicant going to a directional in-state school with a 60% acceptance rate and who’s AO spends 5 mins on each application, really need to be “packaged” by a professional consultant, I really doubt it.

82

Agree not all students need or want to be packaged. For students who are competing for elite top spots and they need to get across who they are and what they value in 2 minutes or less (the time it takes for an AO to review an app), sure they need to be packaged.

One of the consultants here may have said it best, it may be more about taking away a lot of the extraneous noise that detracts from the things that make the applicant shine.

Most kids I imagine just spell it out in terms of who they are and what they offer, but most kids are not in contention for the few unhooked spots left at elite colleges, once the college has filled their saved spots for recruited athletes, first gen, URM, posse, questbridge, legacy and other feeder groups.

83

@MommyCoqui

I understand this completely. When all the students take APs, the kids taking “regular” classes are made to feel that they are in remedial classes. When everyone is told from kindergarten that they have to show “leadership,” simply being part of a club you enjoy is no longer good enough. Everyone needs to be the president. Student’s in our high school film club made a comedy short about a starting the “presidents” club, where all the participants could be presidents.

I love the idea of using the app to let a student’s true self shine through. When this is what is meant by packaging, I’m all for it. I’m less comfortable painting an unrealistic picture of an applicant to try to cater to what a school seems to want.

84

I think the fact that most of us are on this site navigating the process (and then helping others) means we are interested in “packaging” our students. It could also mean “presenting” our students in the best possible light for the best possible outcome. Some more than others. We research how other students managed to get into school X, Y, or Z with low stats or no dismal ECs or why a high stat flute player wasn’t accepted at a school where they were in the 50%. Some parents pay for tutors to get the test scores higher. Some pay for private music lessons to bump up the EC. Some pay for coding camps and push their kids to be on travel sports teams. Some pay for consultants/counselors. Many just want their kids to get into the best school they can.

My “packaging” included allowing my D to attend a charter school 10 miles away because it is a top school in the state and she rode public transportation one hour each way to attend. It also included my being a girl scout leader when no one else would step up so that she and two other girls could work on their Gold Awards, one of the few ECs my D would have on her college applications, other than working. There are more examples of the way she was “packaged” that did not require financing. But, each one of these things were her choice and her efforts and there was no push by me other than helping her figure out which of her interests would be more beneficial in the process. And this is no bash on the ability to “finance” ECs, just pointing out ways we “present/package”.

In the end, and after five years on this board, I truly believe that fit (financial, location, academic, size – all ways) is far more important than just getting into the best school that will admit you. I also believe that many schools can be a good fit, there isn’t just one, and not one is a perfect fit. I would encourage students to follow their passions, work hard, but have fun. You are only young once. And down time is super important for our students so they can learn how to be by themselves and can use the time for inner reflection. Being comfortable while idle is a skill these days.

85

“When your child ends up in these hyper-competitive environments, it is hard not to worry that our kids will be crushed if we don’t follow the tiger mom ways.”

Trust me- I know some of these kids and some of these parents.

But you have to get a grip. What does getting crushed mean? Going to CMU or Duke instead of Dartmouth? Getting in to Bowdoin but not Brown?

Is this what you want your kid to look back on when people talk about HS? The unrelenting march towards college? Do you really want to unleash a kid on the adult world who can’t make dinner or figure out how to clean the bathroom? Or grow up with such a heightened sense of self/ego or lack of self-awareness that getting in to college becomes more important than family time?

This is a choice, like many others. Staying in the starter home when everyone else you know is trading up to the McMansion is a choice. Living in a diverse town with housing projects and fancy neighborhoods and everything else in between is a choice-- especially if you could afford the town a few miles away with minimum zoning (i.e. everyone is rich or at least house poor).

Own your choices. Don’t become the tiger parent just because everyone else has become one. Raise your kids consistent with your own values. And if that means trading down one “level” of selectivity for college, you may just have done your kid the favor of a lifetime.

86

@gallentjill At our HS, there is an opposite movement: admins are trying to do away with as many AP/Honors classes as possible because it makes kids who don’t take AP/Honors feel bad. I just don’t understand this way of thinking. For example, if a basketball team did away with a varsity team because JV kids feel bad, is that laudable? [Maybe not a good example but you get my point.]

I am against a kid taking more APs/Honors than he/she can handle though. Only one time I forced my kid to withdraw from a class in HS. My kid was trying to take AP Chem, AP Biology and AP math, AP Government in the same semester with several ECs. I told him “Are you crazy? Drop AP Chem immediately and replace it with something easy like Yoga so you can relax for one hour.” He did and he was very thankful I made him switch to the Yoga class. He said he decided to take one more AP class because there were some kids who were taking that many AP classes. I told him he got more important things to do like decide on which colleges he should apply and write essays for colleges and that I didn’t care whether Yoga class looked unimpressive because a kid has to have some time to relax. I always tell my kid to be a little more lazy like his dad. lol

87

" I have read on a few threads of consultants “packaging” kids for college admissions? What does this mean in reality?"

It doesn’t mean anything in reality. Students are who they are. I just arrived in Ypsilanti, Michigan for the second of seven college admission conferences I’m speaking at this spring. There are literally dozens of breakout sessions at each conference. Among admissions professionals, “packaging” is not a thing.

Consultants should be helping students to plan wisely and express themselves effectively. That’s what we talk about when we get together.

88

@mommycoqui “When your child ends up in these hyper-competitive environments, it is hard not to worry that our kids will be crushed if we don’t follow the tiger mom ways.”

That is why I think the top 10 - 15 universities are a better fit for students who enjoy learning, like the challenge of being in classes with amazing peers but aren’t overly obsessed with grades. They work to get good grades, but not being defined by them allows them to be more resilient if they get a B or a C.

@websensation “At our HS, there is an opposite movement: admins are trying to do away with as many AP/Honors classes as possible because it makes kids who don’t take AP/Honors feel bad.”

This is a problem at our school too. A couple of years ago they took down the pics of the National Merit Finalists because “other students felt bad.” All of the champion athletes stayed up of course.

Getting rid of AP’s is a problem, but I do wish that high schools did a better job of educating parents and students that colleges prefer fewer AP courses with better grades and AP test scores. After 6 or 8 AP’s, I don’t think there is much value.

89

But how do those kids end up in those environments in the first place (described as a “special magnet / dual enrollment type program”? As parents we have choices, and as our kids grow they have choices.

Maybe some kids need to be un-packaged and part of that process might be a willingness to step away from a track that isn’t a good fit for that kid’s personality and needs.

That doesn’t mean necessarily eschewing the whole “tippy top” school thing-- a less competitive environment can provide a smart & capable student with opportunities to stand out and shine that may do more to make that student attractive to colleges than to be the kid who is exhausted trying to keep up with all the offspring of the tiger-moms.

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@NEPatsGirl

“Presenting” maybe … “packaging” no. Yes there are many people on CC who are focused on “the best” – but there are also a lot of us who may have come in the beginning looking for different types of information, more related to fit. Or navigating the financial aid process, or finding which schools offer good merit aid. So parents and here for many different reasons. And for many, “best possible outcome” means the school that will offer their kid a full ride. Or maybe the school where their Aspie-kid can get both the education and services he needs to thrive. Or what colleges have marching bands and offer the opportunity to study marine biology?

I think that’s an area where a good college counselor can be a huge help – and it’s not about packaging, it’s about matching. I think the people who benefit most on CC are those who came looking for that sort of information and then learned about a program or school that fit their needs, that had not been on their radar before. I’d like to think that there are also knowledgeable college counselors who can provide that sort of guidance and direction as well.

91

I also think Hanna might tell you that hanging out your “counselor” shingle is a lot work more than waiting by the phone. There’s a lot to learn and stay current on, relationships to forge. Otherwise, your knowledge of colleges and trends may, lol, be from CC-type sources or the host of bloggy and less accurate info out there.

Not everyone has the liberty to avoid hyper competitive high schools. Some of them are their local neighborhood publics. Not everyone can move. So you guide your kids as best you can.

92

So true!

93

I don’t believe in packaging.

You have to let kids be their authentic selves. I suspect Adcoms can see through transparent packaging that exists instead of true passion

94

Again, as mentioned in post #2 - it’s not packaging it’s telling your kids story.

Kids do many things in high school (it’s a period of growth and discovery), what people don’t get is that the college app is actually pretty short and there are not a lot of places to showcase what the kid is interested in or that "“something special” that is your child’s true voice. Consultants can help clarify that and help the kid come to a summary, or theme of who they are and how they want to present themselves, but a consultant is not required if parents or others can help. This is not packaging, it’s organizing a theme and presenting their story.

95

I have two daughters who were their authentic selves. Daughter One came into the world and was bright, personable and from an early age showed talent in both singing and drawing. So from elementary on-ward, most of her EC’s revolved around theatre, dance, voice and art. In school, being identified as gifted, she also had a lot of enrichment in math and science which she enjoyed, too. She was always a popular child who was well like among several cliques of students.

Along came Daughter Two, who was also bright and personable. Not wanting to lead her down the same path as Daughter One automatically, we made a special effort to introduce her to sports. She and her best friend joined soccer in K and to our chagrin, Daughter Two ran from the ball and collected flowers in the field. And yes, she was also talented in both singing and drawing, got into the gifted program and was well like among several cliques of students. She, too, was also introduced to math and science enrichment and entered several competitive research programs in middle school. But her true love was singing, theatre and art.

So off I went, sending them both to the same summer programs and music, dance, voice and art teachers. They both excelled and thrived. They had a social life, did well in school and loved their EC’s. They were four years apart in school, so they were never directly competitive with one another.

But as high school progressed and college search began for my oldest D, she decided to go to school to major/ minor in English and/or music (Vocal Performance or MT.) As I described in an earlier post, her college essay focused on her leadership skills and in particular, how she formed and directed an acappella group. We told her story focusing on her musical skills and her leadership of the group and in other supplemental essays, she touched upon being president of her high school. She sent in supplements in art and voice to colleges who accepted them. We knew that by focusing on music, she also had a better chance of getting additional talent scholarships in music.

As D2 approached HS, she, too, became involved in student govt and eventually took over leadership of the acappella group. Like my older D, she was a top vocalist in choir and got the lead in her high school musical senior year. She had voice lessons and local art lessons. By the time she was a sophomore and my older D completed her 2nd year in college, my younger D expressed an interest in becoming either an English teacher or an art teacher. So we began to search for art programs for summers and took her to NYC on weekends to supplement the art program in our high school (which was pretty basic.) Although she was delving more into art for her EC’s, she was still very much known for her vocal and theatre skills.

When college approached, her essay focused on how she saw the world as an artist, focusing in on little details that others tend not to notice and how she incorporates those details into her art. We “packaged” her as an artist, worked on her portfolio and focused her essays on art first, and her involvement in theatre and music second. Since she had on her resume leadership roles, it was apparent, but not her primary focus. She prepared a tape of her singing and would have used it to apply for scholarships at schools like Skidmore and Muhlenberg if she hadn’t gotten into the studio art program at NYU ED. She decided to get her BFA in art and get her education certification in art ed in grad school.

So, in the end, with two D’s with almost identical skills and interests through most of high school, each was “packaged” differently to reflect what they wanted to major in. As it turned out, NYU was the best fit for both–but one graduated with a BM degree in Music, the other a BF in art. Their applications and essays ended up telling their own unique stories and led them on different paths.

96

@suzyQ7 - gets to the heart of the matter. S was involved ECs in HS. His common app looked like a shopping list without deep immersion. However, in reality he was quite immersed and led several orgs. I sat him down and told him to think about the common strains between all the ECs. Write down three words that describe your impact and enjoyment. They all pointed to leadership. So he listed them but used the limited space to give an example of what was accomplished, not just president of this or VP of that. Much tighter and better view of who he is.

So not “packaging” him by choosing activities to create a plastic image, but rather doing what he does and presenting with more impact.

97

@blossom said:

My wife and I argue about this topic often. But before we get into the details, I want to note that we are not “tiger parents”. Quite the opposite actually: When my daughter brought home a C on one high school test, my wife baked her chocolate chip cookies to make her feel better. Her friends were jealous!

Instead, my son is a “tiger child” in high school. He has three activities that he loves and where he is performing at a national level, and which consume all of his free time. We encourage him to cut back, but he truly is self-motivated. And we have made it clear that this is not necessary for college admission, pointing out that this his older sister is attending a college with a single digit admit rate, despite having zero national level accomplishments.

My belief is that he should still be helping around the house, and watching March Madness, whereas my wife thinks he is “too busy” to do those things. When I win the argument, he helps out, but I certainly don’t always win.

I don’t know how common this is, but it is not always the case of parents pushing their children. Sometimes children push themselves.

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My D also pushed herself. I used to beg her to stop … as did her teachers. It’s very difficult to parent these children ( at least for me).

99

I’m uncomfortable with the word “packaging” if it means choosing activities for four years just to make a resume to fit a certain type of school. What an awful high school experience that would be.

That being said, our S19 is a very bright, unhooked candidate and wants to go to a liberal arts school. When so much of the class is taken up by athletes, URMs, and international kids, S19 has to stand out somehow. As I’m reading the acceptance threads, I’m seeing way too many waitlists for this type of student and lots of kids with good scores saying things like “I don’t know how I got in!” only to read later in their thread that they are legacy, URM, first gen, or an athlete.

S19 is being who he is, but he is trying to distinguish himself however he can now because he knows he probably needs to do more within his ECs. He’s training especially hard trying to hit certain times in track. He was always trying to beat his best times but now he’s extra focused on it. It’s possible he could get his times low enough to at least be a good walk on candidate if not recruited.

He’s an artist and hasn’t really entered contests but we’ve decided that he should do that so that he can show he’s been judged and is talented. I found a local contest and it only took him an hour to send some work and fill out the application and now his work will be shown at a teen art exhibit this spring at a top 10 university. It would have been very easy to not hunt down that competition. He has always taken art classes locally over the summers but will take classes at a higher level this summer. He’s interested in doing this but we didn’t send him last year because it’s not that easy to get him to and from these classes. We will make it work this summer both because he’s still interested and because it will add to his application.

So, we have started thinking about “packaging” who he is, but not until the middle of junior year. I feel like it’s more about sharpening up the details that might help him stand out when an AO is reading about him. With only ten minutes or so to make an impression on paper, a few stand-out bullet points will hopefully help.

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@rickle1

I think this is some of the best advice I have seen. It really gets to the heart of the matter. Its not necessarily about whether your child was the president of 10 organizations or won 10 gold medals or cured cancer. Its about using a few choice words to let the colleges know not only what she did, but why and what it meant.

It would be great if people could list some actual examples. How do you describe participating in the literary magazine or being part of the schools drama club or being part of a team, for example.