<p>My oldest volunteered at the zoo with the ponies from when she was 12, till she graduated high school. I was thankful, we had that as a work around, rather than actually sharing a horse, like some of her friends.
( plus, we live just a few blocks from the zoo)
It did mean that we had limited family vacations, as she couldn’t rely on anyone else to take care of * her* pony.
But it did give her the experience to get a decent job as riding staff at a local camp summers.</p>
<p>Alas, while younger D, also was able to volunteer at the zoo, they did away with the program a few years after she began- a program that had been established for decades.
Younger D participated in both school and community sports teams- but none had practice before school.</p>
<p>Rowing is very popular around here though.
:)</p>
<p>If it makes you feel better- I read that Yuki Ohno, originally encouraged Apolo to skate, because it helped him deal with pre-teen angst.
Yuki ran a very popular hair salon in Seattle, and was a single dad, who then often had to drive Apolo to competitions in another city/ state, after work.</p>
<p>I think you just have to do, what you need to do- but if that means that you limits it- or encourage your kids to find a way to lighten the logistics on you- then that makes it work better for everyone.</p>
<p>In my parents’ house, all ECs were not created equal, and I think it would be the same in my house. I would not go to the same lengths to help my kid jump over a stick that I would to help them create art, cure cancer, or learn a language. The sport in question is not even a team sport, with its potential social benefits, and it sounds like the kid doesn’t need motivation to exercise to promote physical and mental health. I’d buy her a rowing machine if she really wanted to pull oars for hours every day, but I would not be getting up at 5 a.m. on Saturday to drive a boat around. If she wanted to get a job to pay for a beater car so she could drive herself, that would be fine with me.</p>
<p>And what if Apolo Ohno’s father had had the same attitude? Apolo would have skated around that oval more slowly, and then he would have a day job now instead of doing endorsements. I can live with that.</p>
<p>Hanna, this is probably the first time I think I have ever disagreed with you about something, LOL! Then again, I’m a parent and you are not and so our perspective would differ, I’m sure. </p>
<p>For me, I don’t care what the EC is! I think there are benefits in pursuing worthwhile activities of interest even if these are not lifelong pursuits or don’t dovetail with some college major, or don’t have some great importance in the scheme of life. For example, an individual sport has benefits to the student, I believe. One example may be horseback riding competitions. If the student loved it and was dedicated, it would be enough for me.</p>
<p>I started piano lessons at age 6, school choir at age 8, children’s theater at age 9, majored in music at college, and am still perfoming at age thirty-mumble. My parents were, and are, thrilled. They both worked full-time, though, and I had two younger siblings with an equal claim on parental resources. In the end, I think they struck a pretty good balance between supporting me and spoiling me rotten. </p>
<p>Until I was a junior in high school, I was only allowed to do afternoon activities where I could walk home before dark, or evening activities where I could walk there before dark and my dad would drive over and fetch me home afterwards. For junior and senior year, I was allowed to do evening activities at school on the understanding that I had to ask a friend to either walk home with me or drive me home afterwards. (We lived five minutes away from my high school. I’m pretty sure my parents knew that I was walking home alone some nights, but they let it go.)</p>
<p>The one exception they made was for two years of afternoon piano lessons at a private music school that was about 45 minutes away from home. My grandmother would pick me up from school, drive me out for my lesson and drive me back home afterwards. We both loved having the extra time together, but I think it would’ve tired her too much to do it more than once a week.</p>
<p>(I don’t know a lot about how much my parents paid for all this, since they didn’t believe in discussing money with kids unless it was necessary. I do know that my piano lessons at the private school stopped, with my agreement, after two years because my mother was tired of nagging me to practice, and I suspect she wouldn’t have been so quick to encourage me to quit if the lessons were cheap and easy to get to. I also remember at least one semester where my parents said that if I wanted to participate in a particular expensive theater troupe I’d have to use my bat mitzvah gift money to pay for it, which seemed then and seems now to be pretty reasonable.)</p>
<p>fendrock - there are similarities to having horseback riding as an activity. We owned a horse that went lame so we leased another that was sound. We didn’t buy a trailer but shared a rental that involved getting the horse loaded at the barn at 6am and staying at the show until the last horse in the trailer was done - very often 12 hours later. At least the boat doesn’t have to eat and have access to water day long - and get constant walks while waiting.</p>
<p>cartera, I’m smiling as when my kids were little, they also did horseback riding (but stopped by middle school). Those were long days. We did not own a horse. I remember spending hours braiding the mane though, for competitions. LOL This was in part due to D2 being allergic and could not hang out in the barn and so D1 and I would do the work to prepare the horse.</p>
<p>Our HS has a crew team and D rowed crew in summer programs and was interested in joining crew during the year, too. However, her many other activities and obligations made the notion unmanageable. I would have done it, but to be honest, I was very glad it didn’t happen. Getting up at the crack of dawn and freezing in all kind of weather by the river are not my idea of fun! Sometimes I do think that the quality of family life gets short shrifted with the whole mindset that kids need to find some overwhelming passion and put in the equivalent of Olympic training hours doing it. But if a kid is truly very excited about something (sorry, not car racing!), I know I would probably try to accommodate if at all possible. Also agree that there is plenty of time to do these things later on if it’s not.</p>
<p>Well, one that I admit helps is that we truly did enjoy watching these various activities, even though they consumed a great deal of time. I may have felt differently if they were things I did not enjoy watching like car racing, boxing, or heavy metal music! And I think there was a lot of quality time in the car rides and at events and so on.</p>
<p>(just be glad you didn’t ask me this question on a day I sat in the freezing rain at a soccer match, LOL)</p>
<p>My husband’s motto was “another day, another town, another rink” I drove 150 miles round trip at least twice a week, usually much more, for DD to skate. No, she wasn’t going to the Olympics. Yes many thought we were crazy to do it and to let her narrow her college choices by where she could skate, but I don’t regret it. Now that she is graduating and it has ended, I will miss it.<br>
You have to do what is right for your family.</p>
<p>Will she get a scholarship from this? (I wouldn’t do it. . .)</p>
<p>Spent many years driving 7 kids to/sitting through: t-ball, soccer, karate, swimming, rugby, ballet, gymnastics, figure skating, track, golf, fencing, piano, strings, youth chorus, etc. and participating in volunteer activities–feeding homeless, environmental cleanup, etc.-- with kids. </p>
<p>S#1 was once a volunteer–teaching elementary kids about animals-- at Sea Life Park. I realized I’d have to drive 45 minutes home and 45 back during the time he was there–that was not feasible, so I also signed up as a volunteer on the same schedule. We had to go through a training class: Learning all about animal mating habits with your 15yo S sitting next to you = Priceless.
What was I thinking? I should’ve just gone to the beach instead.<br>
Halfway through the year, I got pregnant and had terrible morning sickness. The one thing I couldn’t stand was the smell of fish. Well, I was teaching about seals and sea lions and part of the lesson included feeding them frozen fish. OMG–there were a few weeks there that I thought I would lose it. . .Even worse, while S and I were at the park, I left 4 little kids in the care of my 12/13 yo D for hours. . .Yikes. (And that’s about as far as atomom is ever gonna go for the sake of an EC.)</p>
<p>BTW, if anyone wants to know the difference between seals and sea lions. . .</p>
<p>I do think it is a decision you and your husband need to make. Are you willing to do what is necessary to help your D succeed in this sport. And by succeed, I mean to fully particpate. If not then she either needs to find others to help her or quit. I don’t think it is unreasonable to tell her, " sorry D we cannot help you, we don’t have the time right now."</p>
<p>My S plays club bball and I was talking to one of the other parents at practice last week. This parent drives his S 2 hours each way 2-3 X every week so he can participate on this team. Not that there aren’t closer teams, his S wanted to be on this team. Lord knows why, the team lost every game last year. Must be the coach. My D used to particpate in Irish Step Dance. There was one Mother who also drove 1.5-2 hours each way 3-5 X a week so her girls could take lessons at this one particular school. I have never had to do anything like that, but probably would if one of my kids asked. I really don’t have any Me time now anyway, it is all Mom time.</p>
<p>Atomom…7 kids! Yikes. (a good yikes, H is from a family of 13 kids). I love my MIL she is so calm and down to earth. After raising all those kids nothing fazes her.</p>
They both worked full-time, though, and I had two younger siblings with an equal claim on parental resources. In the end, I think they struck a pretty good balance between supporting me and spoiling me rotten. </p>