<p>When you are feeling stressed and snappish, what is the best thing for your spouse to do to help?</p>
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<p>They visited us in early February and my 13 year old “made” them play all the Wii Sports games. I stayed out of it and just heard giggles coming from that room…great to hear the giggles of 75 year olds!!! They liked it so much they bought their own. I bet they’re the only ones of their friends who have one!</p>
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<p>A really big hug, accompanied by the phrase “Don’t worry, honey. We’ll be ok.”</p>
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<p>H is a stay at home dad…he’s so insulated. I asked him last night if he even knew that the stock market was at 6700…he said “yes, but are we supposed to jump off a ledge?” That’s as reassuring as he gets.</p>
<p>^^^^^
I love that attitude! I keep thinking that there’s something that I should be doing… that’s the frustrating part of all this.</p>
<p>The stress is definitely getting to me. I run a home business that has been hit hard by this recession. I’ve been out of the job market for several years and am dreading trying to find my way back into it. </p>
<p>S and D both know things are tight right now. They also know that if they want to go to college they are going to have to earn scholarships to pay their way. (This has been my take on college for years. Who knew I really meant it. I was just trying to get them to earn good grades!) The good news is that S is straight A student and NMF and D is following in her brother’s footsteps. </p>
<p>No hubby to hug so I hunker down under my comforter every night and blissfully dream of things other than the economy. Daytime is a different matter of course. I can barely bring myself to check the Market. What in the world is going on? Can the Market really hit zero (or close to it?)</p>
<p>I’m dealing with the stress by obsessing about octuplets on the thread next to this.</p>
<p>And wondering where on earth geeps20’s kid will end going to college.</p>
<p>My parents always wanted to share their financial problems with us growing up. I have to say, I hated it. Over the years, with our kids we have tried not to change our life style through good times and bad. We spend what we have to spend, not really related to how much money we have. We discuss cost of living, but we also stress on saving for raining days - have minimum X months in reserve if you should lose your job. When things are tight, my husband and I will spend less but not necessary let our kids know about it. </p>
<p>I have been pretty stressed in the last few months over uncertainly of my bonus because it’s such a big part of my compensation. I just decided to do what makes me happy, instead doing things to please other people. I would stay in on weekends, build a fire, watch all my stupid recorded shows and read CC. Sometimes I don’t even bother to pick up the phone. I used to feel obligated to see my girlfriends, call my relatives, go to school functions…It really made me feel better to focus on myselfs rather than worrying about other people. It also sheltered me from listening to other people’s complaints. I think it’s nesting.</p>
<p>At work, as a manager I’ve had to do more things for my staff to keep them motivated. We have more work with less people. Most of them work 10-14 hours a day, and weekends too. It is also hard because our T&E budget has been cut, so I’ve had to be creative. We are doing small weekly wine tasting in my office, self funded and not too expensive. It’s a lot less expensive than taking them out to eat or drinks. We are having bagel Fridays. Just little things to make them feel they are appreciated. It’s hard for everyone.</p>
<p>I’m afraid to open the newspaper each day to see what area business/service is closing due to the financial situation. :(</p>
<p>Both of our jobs are ok - but never say never, right? But we don’t hesistate to share with our kids that we are trying to be careful, make good purchase decisions,etc and expect them to do the same. </p>
<p>While I totally understand that some families situations are more dire than others, it’s a good lesson for all - kids included - to realize how much we CAN do without - a couple of new clothing pieces as opposed to a dozen, 3 pairs of flip flops instead of 8, eating out less, packing lunches, etc. And that everyone needs to work on these reductions together. Kind of an “we’re all in this together” kind of thing.</p>
<p>I alternate between waking up in the middle of the night completely freaking out, feeling like I’m going to throw up and feeling a little tantalized by the prospect of living in “interesting times.”</p>
<p>Hugs to all who are stressing! And some nice red wine while we can still afford it.</p>
<p>My heart goes out to those of you suffering hardships and caring for others. I admire your strength and will send out good thoughts for you to receive help you need, whether financial or otherwise. </p>
<p>For the purposes of missypie’s question, you can put us in the “nervous and hunkering down” category. H is self-employed and business is very slow. He’s covering payroll, but just barely. I’m middle management at a $7B company. No layoffs (yet), but we’re B2B. So, when other companies shrink, so do we…but about a year later. </p>
<p>At home, I’m the money manager of the family. We’ve always lived frugally. But now I am actively reducing spending and accelerating savings in more conspicuous (the kids would say painful) ways.</p>
<p>Yes, the kids are aware that I anticipate a reduction or loss of income this year. Son (HS jr)knows that if (when) that happens it is likely to have an affect on his college apps. </p>
<p>In spite of all our hand wringing and “what if” anxiety, we did make a totally irrational purchase last month. For the first time in 19 years of marriage, we’re getting a puppy. I can’t explain it. It is so out of character nobody can believe it. Even us. H and I keep looking at each other and wondering “what have we done?” Oh well. We’re committed. Batman, the 8-week-old black lab, comes home on March 7. <<gulp!>></gulp!></p>
<p>DougBetsy, that’s not irrational at all. It’s totally sanity saving! Enjoy that baby very much.</p>
<p>believe it or not, I have been drinking much less laterly. It may be that seeing everyone doing better than me got me drinking hard. Nowaday, we are in more or less the same boat.</p>
<p>Plus, we did it right this time, pulling a significant amount of money in cash before April 2008. Our fix expenses are low i.e. the mortgage is less than $1400 (including insurance and tax) a month. Our reserve is for years rather months. </p>
<p>Also, I have realized that not matter what, people live and it is much better to be happy than to be sad. </p>
<p>We are still buying things - just purchased tickets to fly to PHL to visit schools in Spring break taking advatange of super low $49 one way fare. Placed my order of a 150mm F2.8 macro among other pieces.</p>
<p>Yes, we are also going to get a pet this month too.</p>
<p>Lastly, cheer up every one. It will be o.k. Even if bad things do happen, stress over it does not help.</p>
<p>I suppose the bulk of my stress comes from not knowing what/where to cut first. I have cut all the extra eating out, vacations, moved the thermostat, bought less clothing - if any. But, now the ‘cuts’ will hurt - cut one child from private lessons? Or another? Both are talented at what they do. I am also self-employed and debated whether to replace an employee for weeks -analysis paralysis - you bet. I finally did hire a person - part-time when she wanted full time, but it was all I could reasonably project to afford.</p>
<p>^^ Right. We are trying to eat out once a week to support the local economy, but that may go soon. DH’s job ends at the end of May, and if he does not find another before then, that is where the real pain will come in. </p>
<p>No way we can live on just what I make, so sometimes I feel like skipping a take out pizza or not buying socks is just a feeble attempt at cost cutting when we have already cut as much of our costs as we can.</p>
<p>I’m sure we will end up defaulting or having to renegotiate on some credit card debt, and stop funding our 401k and defer payments on Parent Plus loans. </p>
<p>This is where the stress comes from - realizing that we are only 3 months away from disaster, with 3 kids in college.</p>
<p>I can’t just pretend to be happy with all of this going on and a mother in law in the hospital.</p>
<p>So far, our life hasn’t been affected by the economy, but you never know when a job loss will complicate matters. Our D did ask if the bad economy meant that she would have to go to community college for 2 years and then transfer to a 4 year college. She was relieved to hear that 4 years at her financial safety are indeed safe.</p>
<p>Thank goodness for safeties!</p>
<p>I don’t know too many people who lost their jobs. However, the stork market took a toll on many people.
I know a few spouses, who are hiding financial statements from their spouses, out of fear they may cause heart attacks.
My mom lost a lot of money. That’s all she wants to talk about. I think, she pays too much attention to the stork market. I wish, she could start traveling again, enjoy her good health and the rest of her money.
I am the one, who deals with the household budget. H does not keep track of anything. I am trying not to stress, because I have three teenagers, and I need all the energy I can.<br>
I walk a lot, this seems to relax me. I also meditate.</p>
<p>Do some exercise</p>
<p>keep yourself busy man.</p>
<p>Good thread, missypie. Financial constraints & economic uncertainty are making the college selection process a little more dicey. It’s one thing to consider taking out a bunch of loans in an economically stable time. But, what if one person in the family loses a job? Then, what if you can’t pay back loans, have to pay mortgage/car payments/food – it’s a little scary.</p>
<p>haiku–I haven’t exercised in 2 weeks (for the first time in years) since I started working. Definitely need to do that; it does help w/stress…</p>
<p>Exercise has been mentioned several times. Unless I’ve missed it, no one has mentioned prayer, meditation or yoga. I’m a Christian, but yet I haven’t written that God is giving me a great sense of peace…but who knows, maybe God is keeping me off that ledge.</p>