<p>Ema, I’d have to agree with the other posters, this house is a no.</p>
<p>Are there others in the subdivision up for sale? You can paint, redecorate, change the landscape over time. You cannot change the location of the house.</p>
<p>Our first house was the second from the main street in the subdivision. It wasn’t bad, but a house further down the street would have been alot more quiet. Everyone who entered/exited the subdivision went past our home. It’s not a deal breaker, but it is something to consider. Location + LOTS of repair + high price = move on.</p>
<p>In my neighborhood, the cost of renting a house generally exceeds the cost of owning a house by a pretty fair margin. And a lot of the time, the lease requires the renter to do the lawn care and basic maintenance. And pay the all the utilities (including the water bill), which are almost always included when you rent an apartment.</p>
<p>As a result, there are actually very few houses for rent.</p>
<p>So your choice is usually buy a house or rent an apartment. And apartment rent can come close to the cost of owning, for a much smaller place and with neighbors sharing your walls and and ceilings.</p>
<p>It’s a quality of life issue. You are giving up some flexibility if you buy, but in return you are getting a much nicer place to live.</p>
<p>In many areas of the country, there is no tax advantage to the mortgage deduction. Where housing is reasonably priced, and interest is low, the standard deduction on the tax return is what is used. Hence, no benefit (tax deduction) from the mortgage interest paid. This fact is paid very little attention from the media and/or in forums. </p>
<p>Don’t mean to sound grumpy; just wanted to throw that tidbit in the mix.</p>
<p>Ema- we bought a cheap house when I was 22 and graduated college. Around here, buying is cheaper than renting. Renters are renting because they have no credit and/or can’t get the downpayment. (yeah, I’m a landlord )</p>
<p>Where owning is cheaper than renting, and if one is stable and settled, I think it’s a good idea to buy a house, being very careful not to overbuy. It can set up the road to more financial stability. The bargains out there are unbelievable to me, but most around here do require work. The flip side is I have seen many people my age (48) overbuy and use every last penny to purchase the most possible, and 25 years later, they are still struggling.</p>
<p>Two houses for sale in my little neighborhood of 28 homes. Similar square feet, lay out, age of home but the less appealing one is priced about 20% below the more appealing one. It is less appealing because it needs a bit more updating and the back fence is on (but removed from) a 4 lane road that is residential, but does have a 40 mph speed limit. Both need bathroom work (cosmetic, not structural) but are otherwise well updated. Both are priced above another comparable that was listed but never sold 2 years ago. I definitely see more movement and slowly increasing prices here, but we are still miles away from the bubble levels. We have about 10 families that have kids recently out of college and the neighborhood is “turning” over slowly. I am fascinated. We will stay put for at least five more years, but are very curious to see how our local market performs.<br>
FWIW, one home in the other cul-de-sac is being rented to a lady with FOUR adult children all living at home! The immediate neighbors are tiring of all the cars in the street and the large volume of traffic this one home is producing. This home could be the subject of several threads!</p>
<p>“FWIW, one home in the other cul-de-sac is being rented to a lady with FOUR adult children all living at home! The immediate neighbors are tiring of all the cars in the street and the large volume of traffic this one home is producing. This home could be the subject of several threads!”</p>
<p>I can see why this might be an issue. Echhhhh.</p>
<p>Ema-
LOL-- trying to get parents to stop giving parental advice (requested or not) is like herding cats!! Its in our core being to give (usually unsolicited) advice, especially since we have typically had experience and learned from our successes and mistakes. Glad to hear though that pointing out the potential problems of being the first house in the neighborhood was helpful. There are other disadvantages, but since you’ve moved on from that issue, no need to share them, unless you really want to hear :)</p>
<p>Yea, our neighbor across the street originally was a retired couple. One divorced son moved back with his two sons. The adult daughter & her husband and growing family also moved back. After a time, she & her family moved back out but regularly visit her folks. The divorced son’s boys went off to college & I’ve lost track of them. It was pretty busy for a while but in general they are fairly quiet neighbors and haven’t added all that much congestion to our neighborhood. The retired couple admitted they hadn’t envisioned their “golden years” quite the way it turned out.</p>
<p>Renting is actually what I plan to do when the house sells. Same neighborhood, too. But S is off to college in 3 weeks, D is 3 years behind. We don’t need (and I don’t want) all the square footage - and yard - that we have. And in 3 years I’d like to have all options open in terms of staying in this area or moving.</p>
<p>I think I’m at day 83 on the market…DOM average around here is 100 or so. </p>
<p>Does the DOM average usually go from list to contract or list to close, anyone know?</p>
<p>As the neighbor of someone who had three driving age children, the number of cars is a PIA. Add that to the fact that whenever we had company, they rudely came out and asked our company to move their cars from in front of OUR HOUSE! They claimed ownership of not only their driveway and front of their house, but also the front of the houses next to them. Not to mention doors opening and closing all hours of the night. When the divorced mother finally moved out to take up residence in another city with her new boyfriend, the recently graduated high school student took over the house as Beer Party Central. Lots of beer bottle and for goodness sakes, condom wrappers, all over MY front yard. Geez, I used to live in such a nice neighborhood full of retired people. This housing crisis stinks! I wish I was back in my rented three bedroom apartment. I could care less that I was throwing that money away. We NEVER got a tax advantage for owning our own home, not enough income for it to make a difference. And living in the gated apartment complex, where new tenants were screened, gave us the sense of security that we no longer have today. I understand where young people are coming from that want to buy, as I fought the same battle with my husband who insisted on buying a home and moving out of our nice rental. They want to have something that they own and don’t want mommy/daddy/landlord enforcing any rules. Unfortunately, some of your neighbors will take that to the extreme and can make your dream neighborhood a nightmare.</p>
<p>I suspect the reason why people are giving advice not to buy a house has nothing to do with age or trying to give parental advice.</p>
<p>For example, I would advise someone not to buy a house right now unless they could get an incredible bargain and knew this was the house they were going to be in for decades. I say that, because I’m sitting here in my house worth less than I paid for it, looking at my carpet that should be replaced, waiting for the mega estimate of repairs on a roof that should have lasted a decade longer, waiting for my husband who spends half his life working on the yard to finish so we can go the store and get some more items for home repair. Thinking that the mortgage is the least part of it, and though we love this house, the maintaining of it is sucking up all our resources and free time. Rental house, or maybe condo ownership isn’t looking too bad right now. I just would like to do something that is fun with my time and money and am getting burned out. We have owned so many houses and I’m dang tired of it.</p>
<p>I do appreciate a lot of the advice I have gotten here, hearing from people that have experience with home purchases has been immeasurably valuable to us. I don’t want to stop getting advice-- related to the discussion at hand. I just also know that we have already gone over certain peoples opinions about my life choices once before, and I don’t want to disrupt the thread with it again. There comes a point where it feels judgmental rather than helpful or good-intentioned. If you don’t know what I am talking about, you are probably not the person I am talking to.</p>
<p>I was thinking about this earlier, and I remember saying when we first started the information gathering stage, “how do stupid people buy houses!?” because it was HARD work trying to figure out all the ins and outs, all the hidden charges, how to figure out how much we could afford, all the different mortgage types, etc. We went to classes and everything. I think I have my answer in that many people are just not doing the work and signing for whatever the bank approves-- which is most certainly not what we are doing. I am giving my boyfriend gray hair going over and over all the taxes, fees, and additional expenses that need to be accounted for. We’ve set an incredibly conservative budget taking into account less than half of our combined income-- because we wanted to have extra money every month and we wanted to have choices when there are children. The bank approved us for a much higher loan but we didn’t want it, we want financial security more than we want a bigger house and we certainly didn’t trust that the bank would figure it out for us.</p>
<p>I have a few friends who have bought recently, like I mentioned earlier, and they are all saying how jealous they are that we are house hunting because they had so much fun doing it. I have to wonder about anybody that thinks it’s fun. It’s an enormous amount of work and responsibility! I think it will be rewarding when we finally find the right home, but it is certainly not something to be taken lightly. I do think a lot of young people are making that mistake. You can end up in over your head REAL quick if you’re not prepared, a good deal isn’t a good deal if you’re not ready for the pitfalls.</p>
<p>Just because someone has a different opinion it doesn’t mean he/she is judging you. More often than not, people post for other readers’ benefit. If you post on CC, it is open for discussion. I don’t post if I do not want someone’s opinion because it is not for discussion.</p>
<p>most of the res-ponders here have a lot of experiences with real estate, they are either owners of homes or in the real estate related business. You don not have to take in all the answers, but it gives you some idea of general consensus. They are just trying to help, not passing judgement on you…</p>
<p>I think you are on the right track to buy a house to live these days. As after the down turn, the prices of homes have reverted back 15 years. They are all bargains. As long as you choose the right location, you will be fine.</p>
<p>Ema, you said this: “We’ve set an incredibly conservative budget taking into account less than half of our combined income.” </p>
<p>You also mention you are buying a house with your boyfriend. Not fiance, not husband. Boyfriend. </p>
<p>That’s fine, but I immediately wonder whether you (or he) could afford this on your own. If you couldn’t, you’d be forced to sell, regardless of the market, or forced to continue living together, even if you broke up. That’s a terrible position to be in.</p>
<p>I would suggest that the two of you put together a contract BEFORE you buy the house, specifying what happens if you break up, have a child, or get married to the equity in the house. The contract should specify how you’ll each pay for things like maintenance, insurance, taxes, and so on. If you’re putting in equal amounts toward the purchase and the maintenance, you should specify that in the contract. </p>
<p>I have a good friend who is dissolving a 25-year-partnership (same sex, so they couldn’t marry). They are disputing the ownership of the house, and it looks like my friend will be left destitute, with no place to live. The title was in her partner’s name, and her partner is claiming that my friend “just paid rent” for the last 8 years. She has very little recourse, since there is nothing in writing.</p>
<p>dmd, how do you know that I have not already done that? How do you know that we do not already have concrete agreements in place? How do you know that I have not already thought of those possibilities and planned for them accordingly? How do you know what our commitment level to each other is with regards to marriage? Were you there, in the room when we had these discussions, without me knowing it? And, the best question of all, what on EARTH would possess you to think that any of that is your business in the first place?</p>
<p>It is not my responsibility nor my obligation to publicly announce every intimate detail of my living arrangement just to be permitted to participate in the thread without it becoming all about my personal life. Those details are frankly none of your business, nor are they relevant to the conversation. To continuously harp on these issues is disrespectful. I do not have to tell you every little thing, I am not required to prove anything to you, and I should not be continuously placed in a position to have to defend myself just because I wanted to talk about how a house showing went. We could all jump on anyone else who is trying to buy, and ask to know how much money they make, and what their other debts are, and what their credit score is, and all manner of personal questions which wouldn’t be our business-- but we don’t, because that would be disrespectful. I don’t see this as any different and I have had enough of it. </p>
<p>When this issue was raised the first time I made it clear that I am not comfortable continuing this vein of conversation beyond affirming that I have the matter under control, the conversation should not have been brought up again and again after that.</p>
<p>Ema- I think you are seriously over reacting. DMD has given you some good advice. She is not being critical of you.
I have 3 very close friends in their late 40’s and 50’s who have gone through divorces lately. The sale and proceeds of the house were a major issue. All 3 of them came into the marriage with money and over the years the house purchases and improvements came from money given to the wife by her parents. Two of them had no clue their marriages would not last forever. Both ended up making concessions to the ex to just get things over with and are now suffering financially. The 3rd friend who married at 21 yrs old kept detailed records of all correspondances between her and her parents. Included were details of gifts of money to her from her parents to pay for things on their home. When she went to mediation last fall she had all those details and she ended up with a much better settlement.
The parents on this board are not telling you anything they would not tell their own children. You are free to take what advice you like and disregard the rest.</p>
<p>Ema, so sorry to have offended you. I have no way of knowing what you have or haven’t done, but I have seen so much damage from the assumption of “but we love each other! we’ll never break up!” lately that I was horrified at the idea that you might be going into this without a contract.</p>
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