Like Juliet, I assumed OP looking for a community that wasn’t merely offering tolerance or acceptance, but something more - inclusiveness that comes when sexual orientation is a non-issue. A gay president living with his partner is relevant to whether gays men and women would find this an inclusive community. Now that OP has clarified that he is asking specifically about dating opportunities, that would be addressed differently. Yes, the possible pool of available gay men is always greater in an urban area. That would seem to be self-evident.