<p>It disturbs me too. They just view it as a good time, nothing more; I don’t think they realize or want to realize how dangerous it is.</p>
<p>Wrote a reply and erased it; wrote another and erased that. First, a little history: my sister thinks my father was an alcoholic (she may be right–since he died in 1978, I can’t know for sure at this point); I know my MIL was an alcoholic. Both my kids know the family history. DH and I both drink wine and the occasional glass of firewater. </p>
<p>We just returned from three weeks in Europe, 10 days of which were in the company of our daughter, in Italy. We had wine with dinner every night, and freely poured as much for our D as she wanted (at almost 20). Some nights she had one glass, sometimes two—just as we did. She also tried the local firewater (grappa, limoncello) on a few occasions. </p>
<p>Her comment on the wine: “this is a lot better than the swill we get at school.” </p>
<p>I know my D has gotten drunk at school; I also know she rarely dranks more than a glass or two now, since she’s discovered it’s a migraine trigger for her (as it is for me).</p>
<p>A glass of wine is considered to be good for you; both teetotalers and those who drink much more have shorter life spans. I would rather my D learned about the effects of alcohol on her system by drinking good wine, with dinner, in our company, than by drinking bad wine in situations that encourage drunkenness.</p>
<p>Like some others, I believe strongly that forbidding anything absolutely only served to make it more attractive (ever tried to tell yourself absolutely no ice cream ever?).</p>
<p>My DD is 18, just graduated and is not a drinker. She has always made choices not to go to parties where drinking and/or drug use would be. Her close friends have made the same choices. Some of her not so close friends made other choices–which is probably why they are not her close friends. She says drinking to get drunk is stupid and it scares her to see what some of her not so close friends have done while drinking. We have occaisionally given her a glass of wine with dinner. She would barely touch it. She says she doesn’t like it. </p>
<p>With all that said, she is about to go off to college. She and an aquaintance from another town have decided to be roommates because they’ve met each other, and each thought the other was nice, neither drinks, smokes or uses illegal substances. She seems to be staying in that comfort zone. However, she says she may go to some parties there where people may drink. She says her strategy there may be to carry one drink around all night sipping it, keeping her drinking level well under the moderate level. </p>
<p>She has a good head on her shoulders and has always made good choices. I think she’ll do the same in college.</p>
<p>Binge drinkers are created by parents who either demonize alcohol <em>or</em> glorify it. Binge drinkers are not created by parents who prohibit it. </p>
<p>I don’t care if my kids drink in college (oldest does), and I think the 21 drinking age law is ridiculous. But they are not allowed to drink in high school, except on the rare occasion their senior year with us. When 20 year old comes home from college now, he certainly helps himself to a beer or two on occasion (Fridays after work, a barbeque, etc.). If he goes to a friends and is going to drink he has to spend the night. Sometimes he’ll go out to a party and say he’ll be home later because he’s the DD. </p>
<p>We model moderate drinking, we preach moderate drinking. But not in high school. My kids tell me that even kids whose parents allow drinking or wink-wink at it are drunk every weekend.</p>
<p>[edit: eldest did over-imbibe when he first got to college, and we heard all the gory details for a few weekends and were able to re-deliver some advice we’d already given him before he left. It seems to have “took.”]</p>
<p>Can’t we hear from some kids who get plastered regularly? Come on - we know its around 40% at colleges, 25% among seniors in high school. Give us the dirt - we won’t tattle. Tell us how you got around your parents (20% of whom drink too much anyway), when the first time was, and how it led to a night of hot, steamy sex (if you managed to stay awake that long. ;))</p>
<p>my daughter drank just once or twice in high school, but it bothered her so much she was unbearable until I drug out of her why.
In college she doesn’t really drink ( sory mini), I did buy her a drink for her 23rd birthday last week, but she didnt’ finish it ( it was really strong some sort of rum thing we were at a puerto rican restaurant- yummy though but whew!)
I don’t remember how much I drank in high school, I know that it was a tragedy if there was only one party to go to on the weekend, and beyond comprehension if there were none ( why I moved to the city when I had kids, other things to do-)
I wont address all night sex in high school, how the heck can you do that in the back of a mustang?
My parents didn’t really drink except on card night once a month, and very rarely a bottle of wine( of course they were on so many meds they shouldn’t have been drinking anyway)
Of course my best friends mom who was a 1st grade teacher, kept a very stocked liquor cabinet and after her daughter getting mad at her when they went to Hawaii and she locked daughter ( who was 16) out of their room so that she could “entertain” a man she just met- leaving said teenager to sit in the bar where she learned to crave pina coladas, the mom left her home the next time she went anywhere and didn’t really monitor the liquor cabinet.</p>