LOL, I wish I could dictate anything to the kid.
No, he doesn’t want to minor in music, nor play in the school. He wants to continue his lessons with a private tutor. That’s why it is important that a top conservatory is within commutable distance to whatever college he ends up in.
But that can be found through desktop research.
"That’s why it is important that a top conservatory is within commutable distance to whatever college he ends up in.
a TOP CONSERVATORY is NOT going to let your college age kid , who was not ACCEPTED there, take lessons! They give lessons to the students THEY accepted and are preparing for a career in music.
head over to the music forum and maybe you will learn that your assumptions are in error.
That is not true. Conservatory professors give private lessons outside the conservatory structure all the time. My son has been taking lessons from such professors (from top-5 conservatories) ever since he was a little boy. It’s all about promise. Yes, there is an audition, but not with the conservatory, but with the professor in question. If he went through the conservatory then at best he could take lessons from a pre-conservatory prep teacher. Who are good, but not the best. The actual conservatory teachers all give private lessons but only to a small handful of kids who they choose by audition. I believe there is a kid from Florida who takes composition lessons from a certain rather well known professor from Julliard actually over skype (isn’t technology wonderful!). I know this kid as I know all the top-5 HS kids in the USA who keep winning the top-5 composition competitions in rotation and between themselves. Anyway, having been in the middle of absolutely top-echelon US music kids and their goals and destinations, I happen to know the structure very well, far better than I understand colleges.
Your Son’s approach to music is very similar to mine’s to her art. After taking 10 art classes at community colleges, by talking to professors, visiting artists, and classmates, she figured out that she doesn’t need a college degree for the way that she wants practice her art. Because she doesn’t want to get any art related job including teaching.
She would like to know the college’s ceramic lab’s accessibility and equipment, art style of professors and visiting artists to occasionally meet, and local workshops or galleries. She doesn’t want to minor art or even take art classes if she can have those. All of them are much easier to find with web search and email.
The question is - can college students do that?
I’m well aware that high school students can take classes but conservatories such as Peabody expect their professors to devote their time to the students who are paying tuition.
That is the question you need to ask .
Yes, I know college students can absolutely do that. Understand that it has nothing to do with the conservatory. the professor is doing this in his/her own free time. My son’s professors have quite a few private students who are in college.
Now, professors always give preference to the conservatory students because those are the more serious, better candidates. So, if my son is not good enough then he will have no choice but to drop out of music altogether as he won’t find a good teacher to coach him.
" So, if my son is not good enough then he will have no choice but to drop out of music altogether as he won’t find a good teacher to coach him. "
the way around that is to have him include in his list of colleges those that have great music programs.
So, once again, have him visit colleges that have strong music programs [ not just those with conservatories] AND require auditions in order to take lessons from the music profs, before their audition deadlines.
that way he can have his cake and eat it too-
I do know the structure of colleges with strong music programs, as that was a big must have for DS when he was constructing his list of colleges to apply to.
Do you want to talk to my son, mpmom? 
Try to convince him may be? I can set up a call.
He will NOT want to take lessons from a music professor who is not part of a very well known conservatory, and is well known on his/her own as well. He would rather give up.
if he wants to walk away from music, after devoting every free waking minute over the past decade, its his choice.
I’ve never met a 15 year old who knows precisely what he WILL be ABLE to do or even WANT to do 3 years from now. kids do change their minds, ya know.
So it may be up to you to do the research, and guide him, so he doesnt make a mistake that he will later regret.
“kids do change their minds”
All we parents can do is making the best educated guess, based on the years of knowing the kids intimately, and plan accordingly, but with backup plans ready of course.
We started visiting early (partly because we’re in the NE and it was easy, partly cuz DH had reasons to be at various colleges and took the girls.) I don’t think we visited 20 over 2-3 years.
You let this make sense. You don’t see it as missing 20 days of school. Eg, wanna see Penn? So see one or two of the nearby LACs, too. Have more time? Drive north and see a few more.
Yes, kids change their minds A LOT by December of senior year. It’s why some on CC advocate starting with local day trips. Mine saw one local mega U and it changed her perspective. She saw Wesleyan, saw all those kids in the library on a Sat, and became intrigued with the academically competitive LACs.
It is a process.
Don’t assume there is a magic formula. You have miles to go and have only just begun. Don’t assume you know all the factors now or that your ideas won’t evolve as you go. Have an open mind.
“if he wants to walk away from music, after devoting every free waking minute over the past decade, its his choice.
I’ve never met a 15 year old who knows precisely what he WILL be ABLE to do or even WANT to do 3 years from now. kids do change their minds, ya know.
So it may be up to you to do the research, and guide him, so he doesnt make a mistake that he will later regret.”
This may be where our parenting styles differ. My wife and I never guided our son on anything. He did what he did out of his own volition and research. We just paid.
The only time we pushed him was when we thought he was trying to do too much. But if he ever wanted to give something up we always supported him.
Personally, I think he should just do one major, and not much else in college. That’s what we did. We also partied a lot.
My oldest visited 4 schools junior year and said he didn’t need to visit any more, he’d just apply to places with good CS programs and decide after he got in. He didn’t get in anywhere he visited and also applied so he visited 4 more colleges after the acceptances were in. (Though really he could have just visited the top two.)
Younger son liked visiting, but he didn’t go to see that many. 2 in Feb junior year, 2 more in April, a couple with friends over the summer, and 3 over Labor Day weekend. He didn’t miss any school. He applied to 4 of the school he had visited and another 3 he hadn’t. He visited again (and in the case of one school for the first time) after he got his acceptances
I haven’t read the whole thread yet, but I thought most boarding schools have athletic requirements where you have to play a sport each season or if not then you have to dance. Also, I think the art would be fine as long as she did something besides it to “make a difference”, such as teach art to elementary school kids in an after school program or do art work at a senior center.
Its very important to visit colleges - especially with a stubborn kid that has no idea what a college campus is really like. (probably all our kids). My kid ruled out 3 colleges by visiting - but better than that, he realized he did NOT want a LAC and did want a larger university. That is the benefit of the college visits.
Go look at the school calendar and you will see many opportunities to visit colleges without missing a single day of school. There are in-service days, holidays (where colleges are in session - like Columbus, Veterans, MLK, etc…), school vacation week (spring break varies by college - its 1 week in March - you will find many colleges where their spring break is not the same as your kids). Also MANY colleges do special weekend events in the fall and spring. For example, Fordham has one this weekend - “Fall Preview” on Saturday or Sunday. They have a spring preview too.
https://www.fordham.edu/info/24378/visit_days_and_open_houses
There are at least a dozen colleges and universities within 20 miles of Berklee in Boston (Boston Conservatory). Not sure if that conservatory is elite enough for your S.
Its going to be hard for your son to figure out what he wants to do if he spends all his time doing what he doesn’t want to do.
Also, I call BS on all the homework. Your son has 2 frees and spends 6 hours on the weekend doing homework? Maybe he’s secretly playing video games ( 
- you wish)
“Its very important to visit colleges - especially with a stubborn kid that has no idea what a college campus is really like.”
I think it is a great idea to visit local colleges for that. I am just hesitant of visiting them 3000 miles away when there is minuscule chance of being accepted anyway, and the visit would not significantly boost it.
Agree @SculptorDad - Nearby colleges that the kid may be interested in (especially a ‘safety’) is optimal. Its best to visit safeties first so that the bar is not so high if you visit them later. Taking good notes after the visit is also important.
Mathmom, I like your elder son’s style!
SuzyQ7, Really, I am not against visiting colleges. I merely think it’s most efficient to visit them after one gets in. Anyway, like I said, I will check with the school. It’s at least 16-17 months away when the school counselor will initiate the college app process, so we have time.
I didn’t quite understand the following, but given that they sound like personal digs I will skip over them.
"Its going to be hard for your son to figure out what he wants to do if he spends all his time doing what he doesn’t want to do.
Also, I call BS on all the homework. Your son has 2 frees and spends 6 hours on the weekend doing homework? Maybe he’s secretly playing video games ( - you wish)"