<p>“well, if you are paying for it yourself, it would be totally your decision. if someone else is paying for it, i would think they would have some say in the matter.”</p>
<p>Not only that, Mr. Wozowski, but most high school students should not be in the business of making sole decisions about important life events. Trusting adolescents to rely on independent judgments is a good thing, up to a point. Parents and kids discussing and working together to arrive at decisions is also a good thing, and is a key transition towards adult independence. Most adolescents are still looking for guidance and limits. In our family, the decision of when and how many times our D would take the SAT was a decision we made together and all agreed on. </p>
<p>Calmom’s post was insulting and provocative, not just to my wife and me (both physicians with a great kid who is age-appropriately independent), but to all parents who work with their kids to make important life decisions.</p>
<p>Like Calmom, in my family I (the kid) did the deciding…my parents wanted to hear my reasons but were supportive of my decision. Same with what colleges to apply to, with what classes to take, etc, etc. College was my deal, not theirs.</p>
<p>I think this was great and plan on doing the same with my kids.</p>
<p>PSAT twice, SAT twice (Sophomore and Junior year) ACT twice (Early Junior year and late Junior year.)</p>
<p>I actually did better the first time on every standardized test. Taking them early meant I knew I had another shot at it if I messed up so I wasn’t stressed out, and I think that helped a lot. If it’s financially feasible I’d always recommend taking one of them (SAT/ACT) sophomore year so you at least have some idea where you’re at.</p>
<p>Decisions like whether to take the SAT or ACT and how many times are up to my kids. If they had chosen not to take tests at all (and applied only to test-optional schools), that would have been fine with me. Disclaimer: neither my husband nor I is a physician.</p>
<p>In my family, the kids made all the decisions related to college admissions stuff (including test taking). However, parents can guide their kids and discuss options and the like. Then, the kid is the decision maker. Parents can be a resource and facilitator and give advice, while still allowing the teen to make these sorts of decisions. </p>
<p>As a college counselor, I also give advice to my students (and their parents) about test taking (and all other college matters) but emphasize that the decisions along the way are theirs (the students) choice to make. But I do give input as I know a thing or two that they may not. :)</p>
<p>“Decisions like whether to take the SAT or ACT and how many times are up to my kids. If they had chosen not to take tests at all (and applied only to test-optional schools), that would have been fine with me. Disclaimer: neither my husband nor I is a physician.”</p>
<p>Another provocative response from (I presume with the name Calreader) a California parent. Hmmmm. Do I detect a pattern here? Maybe there should be a different thread created to discuss whether parents should have any input at all into decisions about whether or not to take the SAT/ACT or how many times to sit for them. If my D had declared that she did not intend to take the SAT/ACT and to apply to test-optional schools we would have discussed it and made a joint decision. We happened to all agree on the decision that was made. </p>
<p>What would you have done if your kids declared that they were not going to college? Would you have discussed this with them or simply allowed them to make the decision on their own?</p>
<p>Disclaimer–my wife and I are both proud to be physicians AND to be helping our kid to grow up right.</p>
<p>I don’t see any reason for parents not to discuss with their kids when and how many times to take tests. The parents can suggest the best times for taking the tests and reasons for re-taking if necessary, and discuss the possible consequences accruing from receiving different scores, both in terms of admission and financial aid. Kids are not always aware of these factors. In the end, however, if a student is determined not to re-take, it would be counterproductive to force the kid. </p>
<p>Perhaps, it is better to say that decisions regarding test-taking are discussed thoroughly among students and their parents, but are made by the students themselves.</p>
<p>Well, my kid declared in tenth grade that she wanted to graduate a year early (this on top of an early entrance into Kindergarten). It wasn’t in our game plan. But she articulated her reasons and we went along with her decision. She knows herself well and it all worked out for the best. (she is a recent college graduate)</p>
<p>Agree with marite…or I should say, we had a similar approach…discuss these things thoroughly but the kids have the decision making power as it is their lives and this college process is their first major adult life decision.</p>
<p>One child took SAT’s three times, another took them only once. Although we too live in an affluent Philly suburb and just about everyone from their public school attends college (including some to HYP), I know of only a very few (and none from the honors/AP tracks) who take SAT’s more than three times or undergo expensive prep. I guess the public school culture is very different from local private schools in this regard.</p>
<p>Their public school GC does encourage students to take the test sometime during junior year at the latest, since most students will begin to look at colleges by summer of junior year, prior to deciding where to apply. YMMV, but we found it helpful to have SAT scores in hand (already allowing for one re-take if necessary) before beginning to assemble a realistic list of schools.</p>
<p>After taking the SAT(not very good score) once S2 announced he was one and done. S2 is not the avg. CC kid. He’s just a regular average kid.
I discussed with him how it would limit his choices but would prob. get him into a couple of our (not flagship) state u’s. He was only interested in big schools anyway.</p>
<p>His reply was “that’s fine, I’ll go wherever it takes me”.<br>
I did not argue, demand or push him to re-take. He knew what his options would be.
He stuck to his decision.
He applied to two state u’s, got in both and is a happy soph. at his favorite of the two.</p>
<p>What if your two choices were completely opposite? Would your say go, or would you let your D decide?
This “joint decision” sounds a bit like dictating choices to me…</p>
<p>I do not know what the financial aid opportunities are at SAT-optional schools, but the possibility of such aid must be factored into the decision, and this is where parents have a major say. What if the SAT-optional schools are not affordable? What if the state flagship requires SAT or ACT? The student must be made fully aware of the consequences of not taking the tests or doing badly on them.</p>
<p>Re decision-making - some kids are self-motivated and manage the college application process on their own - but there are plenty of others who need some help. </p>
<p>It is really impossible to make a blanket statement about what role the parents should play in these matters.</p>
<p>My d asked me my opinion about whether or not she should take the test again. It was a relief for her not to have to do this entirely on her own.</p>
<p>The term “joint decision” is actually quite imprecise. I would have said that you advised your D to re-take (or perhaps not) and she gratefully accepted your advice. You did not decide that she should re-take. I am surprised that some posters seem to think that parents act as despots and are able to impose their will on their children. I’m of the opinion that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. I also think that some students have the knowledge base to make some decisions wisely, but not all do.
Heck, we had no idea what S1’s scores signified in terms of college admissions, nor had we had ever heard of prep books, NM, merit aid, and a whole host of test-related issues. And in our school, students don’t tend to talk about such things. We were fortunate that S1 had a terrific GC who guided him and us through the process, told S1 to re-take a couple of tests, and helped him draw a list of reaches, matches and safeties. With S2, we had become far more knowledgeable, but our knowledge was not needed.</p>
<p>^^^ marite, we are in agreement - my exchange with my daughter is just an example of how a “joint” decision can be made. </p>
<p>And I can easily imagine a scenario where offspring would adamantly oppose taking this (grueling) test more than once or preparing for it, regardless of parental preferences…</p>
<p>Interesting to see the wide range of freedom kids have regarding tests in different household. We are not there yet. I am guessing in our family, how many times to take will be up to kids. Parents will get involved as to whether to take it at all.</p>
<p>This was the case at my kids’ school as well. I was pretty hands off because I knew they were getting the guidance and facts they needed to make a decision. Not every school has such counseling ( I might go so far as to say most don’t) and I certainly can appreciate wanting to make sure your kid has a sense of what the options/risks/benefits are of when and even how often to take the various tests and other hoops the kids have to pass in this whole process. I don’t see the point of criticizing other parents on this board when we have no way of knowing their individual situations- or even then, for that matter.
We all help our kids when we think it’s in their best interest. There is no one right way to parent, or to pave the way to leave the nest.</p>
<p>Oh. My kids each took the SAT once in junior year. They had a copy of 10RealSATs, took a practice test or two for prep. Both were happy with their scores.</p>