<p>S is in 8th grade and currently applying to two seperate magnet programs for HS. He has already taken the admissions test for one and the test for the other is in January. Recently someone mentioned “studying for the test over winter break”. This was something that had not occurred to me. And you know what? I am not going to push him to study for this test. He is a very bright kid but the acceptance rate for these programs (based on number of applicants this year and how many will be accepted) are in the ivy league acceptance range. Enough is enough. He is 13 years old and the local public HS is very good. It is what it is.</p>
<p>Don’t push him. It will make him feel bad simply put. I will tell you, in 6th grade, everything was too easy and I read at college level. I did great, and now I am taking 14 AP courses. I have lots of extra curriculars and leadership, and hooks. I was never pushed. Let him explore, pardon his mistakes, and guid hi to be happy, not to get good grades.</p>
<p>To the OP, I think much more would be gained from reading as much as possible in areas of interest, fiction and non-fiction both, than from spending an equivalent time in SAT-prep classes, particularly at your son’s age. </p>
<p>Other possibilities I would suggest for your son: try something like Lego’s Mindflex (for constructing and programming robots), explore a good scientific calculator such as the TI-83 or higher (and actually read the manual), try a chemistry set, buy/borrow a good microscope, try a construction toy such as an Erector set with a very large number of pieces . . . other activities that build 3-D thinking and include design/planning components. All better uses of money than SAT prep classes, especially for a 6th grader!</p>
<p>Actually, I just noticed that the OP was talking about a language arts enrichment class that happened to be held at an SAT prep center, and not about SAT prep itself. That could be ok, and might even be useful, depending on the quality of the 6th grader’s school. Still, I feel that students spend plenty of time in classes as it is, and unless your son is really interested in the course, free intellectual time is better. On the other hand, if the class is something like a Great Books discussion group, those can be really excellent–our family did not participate, but friends and their children did.</p>
<p>I wait tables when not in New York. Over winter break, I had a family of four sit down for dinner in my section. The parents, who were in their late 30s, focused all of their attention on their kids. Those kids, two boys, about 8 and 10 years of age, were expected to be tidy, polite, and return the attention of their parents.</p>
<p>The meal, more of a seminar, was based on geometry formulas. The parents were taking the time to teach their kids these formulas and their practical applications even though the parents were probably tired after a long day at work; and the kids, school. There were no hand-held video games, no chronic blackberry checking, etc. All the attention, and affection was focused on each other.</p>
<p>The reason I mentioned them being tidy and polite is because of the discipline involved in raising kids - look, I know I haven’t done it. But, I have always worked in restaurants and could probably teach a graduate level on how NOT to do it. </p>
<p>Negotiations with kids seem to be the norm, in restaurants at least. Very often I’d hear, “Fine, you can have whatever you want for dessert and another soda. But, will you then do your homework when we get home?” These would be the same parents, often, who’d change their baby’s diaper in a booth and leave it for me to clean up. Which, when you think about it, is a metaphor for how these people are sending their kids into the world.</p>
<p>My point is this: success, academic or otherwise, isn’t a matter of gently pushing. It has everything to do with a whole family system/commitment to each other (and I was raised by a single parent, so, a whole family can mean the sum of its few parts, too). </p>
<p>Oh, and the family with the geometry kids? They left me a great tip.</p>
<p>We pushed - at least a little. When things looked tough, helped push through the difficulty. Our kid, who was great at all the school stuff, just didn’t have the coordination piece and we pushed him to give it his best (and he did get better and he did eventually become an All American his sr year). But in the beginning it wasn’t easy. Pushing is different than encouraging a kid’s passions. Pushing is sometimes doing things you don’t necessarily want to do. Pushing was saying, “yes, I realize this doesn’t come easily, but you are too young to know all there is to know. And some things are worth the effort.” And there is a HUGE difference between pushing and forcing. If after a year or so he still disliked playing sports (3rd and 4th grade) and hadnt shown a lick of success, we wouldn’t have forced. But sometimes overcoming frustrations and getting good at something just takes practice. </p>
<p>I suggest reading Mindset by Carol Dweck. I don’t agree with everything she writes, but having three kids I can tell you that by practical experience a lot of what she says spot on. Not everything come naturally. Passions can evolve and are developed every day, but you cannot force them.</p>
<p>mackinaw wrote:
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<p>ditto. also to post 63. My children have told me they feel we never pushed them to do anything academically. This was our goal because we wanted them to be self-motivated. We made opportunities available. We wanted our children to understand acquiring knowledge is fun and that they could do it themselves. Absolutely anything they expressed interest in was enthusiastically explored. We taught them research skills from an early age. We didn’t treat any area of inquiry as more important than another. I read all the books my children read so I could discuss them and as they grew older we discussed them more critically. I read a lot of really bad books. along with some really wonderful ones. Sometimes they would read my recommendations. We took them to theatre, museums, etc because it was fun… as a treat. During the dinosaur stage of child development we saw more natural history museums in the US and Europe than I ever knew existed. We allowed them to set the travel agenda. I learned a lot along the way about antique weaponry and Egyptian funerary practices and astronomy and geology. And marine life… I am not sure if there is an aquarium in this country I haven’t had the opportunity to tour. We are storing a word-class lego collection and a serious amount of role-playing materials and anime. My children have been extremely successful academically (and in the rest of their lives ;)) and the last one just got accepted to grad school. Hooray! As adults they all still love learning and are excited about school, which makes me very happy.</p>
<p>One of my children always has loved memorizing lists. When he discovered those vocab lists, he did memorize them and he also did those SAT problems of the day on college board when he found out about them. He was the kind of young child who wanted flash cards for Christmas. We obliged but did not in any way encourage this behavior. He has always been at the very top of whatever class he is in, but that is because of his interest in achieving that goal, nothing to do with how he was parented… of that I am postive!</p>
<p>^^ adding: The sibs who didn’t prep, except for doing some practice tests in 10 Real SATs in the month or so before the test, did almost as well as the child who did self-directed SAT prep for several years. They all did extremely well. On GREs the prepping son did no better than his non-prepping sibs.</p>
<p>I knew early on that my kids were naturally curious and academic in nature. I remember them coming home from school in first and second grade and they would complete their homework in 10 minutes. That is when I started “mommy school”. We read and studied together. We had many books available to them at all times in the house and the reading was often done as a group thing. I had four kids within three and a half years so it actually made it easier to sit down with all of them. Everything was our classroom. We went on all types of day and weekend adventures where they could really get their hands dirty, some of the most memorable were our rock digging trips. They learned by reading, but fell in love with learning, by doing. </p>
<p>Three of my four are attending either an ivy or its equivalent. All four kids have said that “mommy school” was the most important thing in their development.</p>
<p>I always joke that I had the opposite of helicopter parents, I had binocular parents(so distant they could only see me through binoculars). They never pushed me or my sister. I’m at the top of my class, my sister is at the middle to the bottom. If they had pushed me, I would have rebelled greatly. My sister could have used the pushing. </p>
<p>In the end, it all depends on the kid…but usually bright kids don’t need the push</p>
<p>H pushed himself to be home for family dinners 6x/week, rather than schedule right through the dinner-hour, which is tempting in his line of work. </p>
<p>I pushed my parents (college professors) to respond and praise their grandkids’ social development, not just scholastic abilities.</p>
<p>We pushed the TV into a side den rather than where we ate dinner.</p>
<p>I pushed my kids in strollers through many museums so I wouldn’t lose my mind.</p>
<p>Didn’t read all posts here–just first OP</p>
<p>FWIW
if you student is happily doing high level math–go for it
…meaning as I understand it, math is developmental.
Our older student did Alg 1 in 7th grade and our second student did it in 8th…just by where we lived and where they went to school…</p>
<p>…that being said, both of ours seem to have leanings towards math/sciences…neither like English very much and one lovse Amer Gov/History types of things–the other hates AM history (loves world history)… (meaning all kids are different as they grow)</p>
<p>Having solid alg and geo etc …may come naturally for your student and then perhaps he will be interested in pursuing other things after a season of more math…</p>
<p>same for vocab etc…</p>
<p>If you student hasn’t started a foreign language–and comes to a place where math or vocab is now no fun—consider places on the maps he would like to visit (or where you travel)…and thnk about where his foreign language interests might be. OUr older student has an “ear” for langauge naturally and with travle our student realizes learning a language isn’t scary… OUr younger student took time to find a passion for language and is studyihng Chinese</p>
<p>I would let him enjoy it (math right now) if its what he wants–not the pursuit of the ivy–so if he decided two weeks from now he is into building stuff for awhile (your garage may become a workshop) then go for it…and let him explore the natural mechanics and geometry in that
enrichment is great
and when he is more interested in the soccer ball, thats all good too…</p>
<p>Another great thing–reading–reading for fun, quiet time, where everyone is reading for fun…Even listening to books on tape helps language …</p>
<p>We have done lots of enrichment beyond the schoolwork, travel, books etc…read alot together and read outloud as well…</p>
<p>As long as its about enrichment
and his love of learning for the sake of learning
not for pursuit of the grade (or ivy)
then he will continue to love learning for a lifetime…</p>
<p>just my 2cents
clear as mud?</p>