<p>When my kids started high school, every weekend I felt like an ATM. I started giving them $100/mo and they could eat it, wear it, watch it, listen to it, have their nails done, etc. I guessed at the $100 amount but it worked out pretty well. One now has a job as a senior and is required to save half her earnings for college.</p>
<p>I don’t know how much will be the right amount for college. One has a full meal plan, but the other has 12 meals per week so she’ll spend more on snacks and coffee. Both are going to rather cheap towns. We’ll have to play it by ear to see if the amount needs to be adjusted. They are both rather thrifty having lived with me so know not to just buy things, although we are addicted to Tide Pods and a few other brand name things.</p>
<p>When I was in school, it seemed like I was always calling my father for my rent money --like it was a big surprise that the rent was due on the 1st of the month. I hated that, so I don’t want my kids to have to beg for money.</p>
<p>DD is expected to earn money for books, discretionary spending, and her smart phone data plan since we are only funding dumb phones and texting. She has an on-campus job and has babysat a few times for $20/hr. Her career plans are to become a teacher and then a high school administrator so she needs to learn how to budget on a tight income! I hope we can help her pay back her student loans, but with DH now retired that’s not a given. </p>
<p>Are we talking about “allowance” type of money or are we talking about what we spend" in addition to tuition/room board" money?
Because cell phone/cell phone plan is yes, we pay for it, but they never see it kind of money. Grocery/rent money they see (in effect, of course if they THINK about it, they know). </p>
<p>And not only is it different for every family, but in our family it has been VERY different for each kid! Kid1 went to Ivy, we didn’t pay much beyond room, board, (unmentioned cell phone plan, except she paid extra $10 a month for texting, funny back and forth transfers from accounts, LOL), clothes when she was home to shop while with me and the credit card. Now she is in grad school and only receives cell phone and occasional use of the car. Still required to call 1x per week, but so nice to see her maybe 1 or 2x a month (she lives 15 minutes away).
Kid2 (soon to be graduate) first year in dorm, with food plan, basically got cell phone and maybe some clothes when he was home. Second year in off campus house got $xxx (I can’t remember, but it wasn’t enough for rent, utilities and food. Found out SPRING break that he was basically starving for lack of food money!!!) Third and 4th yeas in off campus house, got enough for rent, food, utilites, He stretched it to clothes (except for a few specialty items) and books. Summer job took care of “incidentals”. He is the one with the on-line budget and tracks his spending. His older sister is working on it, but actually never budgeted. H and I don’t budget either, we just have x to spend and we spend it or not, but somehow it is in the back of our minds if there is “enough” in the checking account for more spending. I am continuously grateful to have a spouse with a similar mind set for saving and spending. I can’t think how hard it must be for savers to be married to spenders!</p>
<p>Love all the varied responses. I’m totally new to this, and I put myself through college as a young adult so I have no idea what the “norm” is. </p>
<p>I think I gave DD about $150/month for the first semester. Her college does not allow work study for first semester freshmen. I also bought her books. After that, she’s pretty much been on her own, selling and buying her books and paying her own way. I do give her a few extra bucks now and then, but she rarely asks for it. She used a lot of gas going back and forth to an unpaid internship last semester, so I gave her some extra then, too. She is on my cell plan and we usually have mother/daughter shopping days whenever she’s home on a long weekend or break.</p>
<p>For those who give no allowance, how do they pay for hygiene items, doctor appointments, prescriptions, haircuts, etc? </p>
<p>When my D was in high school I used to put $30 a pay period on her lunch account and give her $40 cash for gas (because it was saving me a TON to not be driving her and her brother all over the place- she became the family chauffeur). So now, I have $70 direct deposited into her account from each of my pay checks. I figure it covers the things I listed above. I also cover the cell phone bill. She pays for books and works three jobs to cover her other expenses. I also pay her sorority dues but I told her before she went to college that I would do that if she chose to go Greek. They are surprisingly cheap at Columbia. </p>
<p>My son will be close enough to home that he can come home on weekends and I can pick up his hygiene items, get his hair cuts, take him to doctor appointments required over and above what health service can do, etc. I told him I won’t be giving him money like I do with her. I don’t think he’ll need it. I’ll pay for his season tickets for football because, well, it’s Michigan and he needs to go the Big House for games! My graduation present to him!</p>
<p>They have jobs. We contribute if needed and much more when mostly I feel like going shopping but it’s not a regular allowance. Honestly, we have found the room and board numbers allow plenty off wiggle room for that stuff and much more. Neither kid is close to spending those estimates. And, neither is in the cheapest available housing. </p>
<p>She is definitely my spender, but things are also crazy expensive in NYC. She gets $13 hair cuts here but in NYC the cheapest she could find was $30. She has started ordering shampoo and toothpaste, etc. on Amazon Prime because it is so much cheaper that way than in stores in Manhattan. She does spend way too much money on food and she buys all her own clothes, shoes, etc. She took a super low meal plan this year because her dorm was pretty far from the dining hall and she spent a ton of money on take out food. But, I try to give her enough to cover the stuff I’d cover if she was living at home. And her medical expenses are pretty high too. </p>
<p>I’m another parent who did not give my kids spending money while they were in college – aside from occasional gifts and care packages. The deal was that I would pay the bill that came from the bursar; the kids were expected to pay for the rest from earnings… Both of my kids came up with some creative ways to make extra money while they were in college, as well as working a variety of different jobs.</p>
<p>I did pay for cell phone bills while kids were in college, partly because it benefits . (They can call me and other family members, I can always reach them – and of course family-plan pricing is better than what any one of us could get on an individual plan). </p>
<p>
@2016BarnardMom - as you know, my d. also attended Barnard. In addition to a regular work-study job, she always made good money with Barnard Bartending. More than enough for personal hygiene items. D. had no special medical needs- so that really wasn’t an issue. Obviously a kid with specific and costly medical needs might be a different situation. </p>
<p>I do think that my daughter once made the mistake of going to a NYC for a haircut that ended up costing about 3 times as much as she thought it would. I remember the story and how upset she was --though not the details. It was a costly mistake, and one that wasn’t repeated. </p>
<p>Another costly mistake was her decision to sign up for cable tv when she got to college – that’s one bill I would never have agreed to pay, and one that she learned soon enough was an unnecessary dent on her budget. </p>
<p>I used to give my daughter a fairly generous allowance when she was in high school, probably similar to what yu were giving… But about the time that she was deciding on colleges, I informed her that I would not be continuing the allowance in college. I might have made some sort of statement along the lines of her becoming an adult and taking on more responsibilities. She worked the summer after high school and earned enough to cover basic spending money for the first several months of college. </p>
<p>Yeah, she failed the Bartending test so that was $120 down the drain. She panicked and didn’t finish the practical exam on time. It was midterm week and she ended up leaving in the middle of the exam because she had 2 midterms the next day. She works for the babysitting agency, has a regular babysitting job, and does phone calling for the development fund during that season. It’s really all the food she orders in that’s killing her budget. I think she’ll be eating on campus more in the fall and she purposely is scheduling meals that have her on campus near meal times. So I’ll spend the money on a bigger meal plan instead. </p>
<p>LOL… my daughter studied REALLY hard for that bartending exam- she said it was the hardest thing she had to study for her first semester - and she was taking some tough classes – but she definitely prioritized learning all those mixed drinks. The funny thing is that once she started working, she didn’t need that information – most of the time she was just pouring wine and beer and helping to prepare hors d’oeuvres – and on the rare occasions when there was a full bar and she was tasked with preparing mixed drinks, she learned pretty quickly that the patrons were unlikely to order anything fancy and certainly didn’t care if she had the proportions exactly right. (D. is something of an old-timer now- she was in school before everyone carried a smart phone… these days I’m sure that there’s probably dozens of apps to choose from to keep the mixed drink recipes handy). </p>
<p>In any case, she paid the fee for the course – that probably added to her motivations to pass the test. She’s pretty good at anything that requires memorization for an exam, though – although she also hates doing it because she says she can always cram for an exam and do well, but she’ll forget everything a week later. </p>
<p>I do think that its possible to earn just as much via the babysitting if the student can pick up a good regular job --the difference is that the babysitting fees are more variable – and while my d. also did do some babysitting, it was definitely not her favorite thing to do.</p>
<p>I didn’t pay for a meal plan after the first year – that was before Barnard started requiring all students to have some sort of meal plan, and the regular meal plan was just too expensive. It was very irksome her first year because her fall semester schedule with late afternoon and evening classes made it virtually impossible for her to get in and out of the dining halls during the hours they were open for dinner at least two nights a week – so we were stuck paying for meals she wasn’t getting… After the first year she always lived off the quad, in a suite or room with cooking facilities --and so she cooked for herself. </p>
<p>My son was always a big fan of rice cookers-- plus usually a vegetarian during college years --so he always managed quite well on a limited food budget. </p>
<p>Anyway, it really comes down to affordability. I was a stretch for me to just keep up my end of the bargain to pay the bursar – I just didn’t have the funds available to be sending a monthly check on top of that. </p>
<p>Kid#1: had summer/work study jobs to fund most of her discretionary spending (including sorority dues). We did pay for her phone on family plan, car insurance and hair coloring (priorities, ya know, haha) Kid #2: earns about the same, but needs to spend $ on summer performance programs, so we send $100 a month to cover spending during the year. We also pay phone and car insurance. It probably works out to about the same for each kid, in the long run. </p>
<p>Analyzing spending habits:
Kid#1 in big, expensive city - probably spent about $200-$250 a month for discretionary stuff, until she turned 21. She then realized that the joy of happy hours and liquor store runs came at a price!
Kid#2 in an expensive, small town - spends about $100 a month, mostly on pizza and video games. Less when he dates upperclassmen/grad students who can pay for dates - haha</p>
<p>The money we send D is for room & board ( she lives off campus), books, dr bills and personal items and clothing.
She doesn’t have a car, so that saves some money. She has a job, but not enough hours to qualify for food stamps so she uses the food bank.</p>
<p>My S is on our cell phone plan and we pay his portion. Likely will keep him on it even after he graduates. Whether we have him pay his share will depend on what he will be earning. He pays for gas, but we pay his insurance and we also pay for tolls through our EZPass. Medical hasn’t been an issue but we would pay for it if it was. </p>
<p>S pays for his haircuts and all personal item. He also pays for his own clothes. He even paid for his “interview” suit but I told him I will reimburse him. </p>
<p>He goes to college in a town where there is not much to spend money on so his biggest expense is probably alcohol. </p>
<p>Even those of us who do not give allowance have kids with these expenses.</p>
<p>Our kids were covered under our health insurance until age 26, so their doctors visits were covered. While at college, the first stop was the student health center which was free. For doctors visits at home, we payed the deductible. We also paid for glasses…those are not discretionary spendinng!</p>
<p>Ditto prescriptions. They were on our plan. Not discretionary.</p>
<p>We did not pay for haircuts. Our son got his cut at a place that charged. $10 at the time…it’s now $15. We probably would have paid for this. If asked. We weren’t asked. Our daughter spent $155 every six weeks to get her hair done…color and cut. We viewed that as discretionary. Good thing she didn’t ask…answer would have been NO. She had a good paying job…her money to spend as she chose.</p>
<p>Hygiene items…we stocked them up at the start of each term. Anything extra they wanted, they bought. For example, DD had more hair products she felt she needed…and expensive ones (no Suave shampoo for her). She bought those, I guess. </p>
<p>The point is…my kids earned their own money, and they spent their own money. Honestly, I don’t know how much they earned, or how much they spent. Their money!</p>
<p>My D’s student health center is not free, but pretty close. I think her last visit was $5.00. Of course, it’s all factored into the cost of tuition. </p>
