Reading the “bickering” going on here reminds me of when we were sending out kids to kindergarten (and then college). Some people paid nothing and stressed that they were sending ther kids to public school.
Some people paid a fair amount, and sent their kids to parochial schools. They worried about whether it was worth it or they should pay more for other private schools, or whether the public schools would be fine.
Then there were the people who sent their kids to very expensive private schools - some because they could easily afford it, and some with significant sacrifices in other areas. They worried about whether they were making the right choices. I remember one woman saying she would rather skip the private school and take us all on an educational trip each year.
But we (almost) all worried about our decision at some level.
Most of us are going to have some level,of stress no matter what we do. But if we can sleep at night with our decisions, are relatively knowledgable and comfortable with our decisions, and we are not negatively impacting anyone in the process, it’s all good.
^^LOL I have walked through most of those education decisions and “what-if” moments @1214mom . Would love to have back every dollar of private school tuition that we spent through the years, before we started homeschooling.
It’s true, you always wonder. Even with homeschooling, which we have loved overall (other than I am going to be completely gray by the time my youngest graduates in May).
Yes, sleeping well at night is imperative to me. If I’m not, I try to figure out what needs adjusting or tweaking so I CAN and WILL sleep well at night (SWAN).
With DS, my reaction is the opposite. If I knew then what I know now, I would have started him in private (a pricey one) no later than middle school instead of high school. But, all’s well that ends well.
When I attended a presentation about SS changes recently, the presenter mentioned something about – if you use more than 10% of your retirement fund (401k, 403b, etc.) until you start taking SS payment, then you are spending too much of your fund and you should start taking SS payment. I didn’t quite get it, maybe I misheard him. Anyone knows about this 10% rule? I am thinking to take SS from my full age 66.5 rather than waiting until the max age of 70 because I will surely spend a lot more than 10%.
@dadofs, I have not heard of the 10% rule, and off the top of my head, it seems odd. There are a number of factors that go into deciding when to take SS (e.g., health status, family longevity, relative income of older and younger spouses, etc.). I have heard mention of one’s ability to fund the wait, but nothing that said that 10% is the threshold.
Perhaps you misheard, perhaps the presenter misspoke…
Question (student here): Is it wrong for me to try to encourage a parent to defer retirement so that I could have the ultimate connection after graduation? I mean, my parents have only briefly mentioned it, it’s usually when we are fantasizing about a power ball win lol
Parents are def not in this category —> "40% of baby boomers now plan to work until they die. "
What does “ultimate connection” mean?
“What does “ultimate connection” mean?”
Probably means that CaliCash is interested in working at his or her parents company. I have been dreading the possibility of either of our kids getting into aviation, because then I would feel the obligation to work over 60 until that kid got on with the company. For some places, it helps a LOT.
CaliCash, how long would your parent need to defer retirement (if that’s what you’re talking about).
@IxnayBob Yes, I must have misheard … it didn’t make much sense when I heard it, but it stuck in my mind. Hypothetically though, if 10% was over 3.5yrs (from 66.5 to 70), then the fund alone can last 30yrs (until 100y.o. which they seem to project to). Well I plan to live until maybe 85 :> because I’m not that optimistic about my or my wife’s life expectancy, so I should be fine. Seriously though, my wife never worked and I’ve worked 31yrs paying max SS tax during all years (I think), and still need to work another 5 yrs for my youngest D to finish college. So I will start taking SS as soon as I retire at full ret age. If SS pays about $3.9k/m for me and W and get about $3.3k/m from ret acct, will this be about ok to live in socal or virginia? Maybe If the market cooperates for the next year or two 
@busdriver11 @notrichenough It just means someone with connections in the industry I want to work in who I know will always have my best interest. If i had to guess, dad is mid to late 50s and I couldn’t imagine him working past 60. So I’d say maybe 2-3 years? It’s not what you know, it’s who you know right? Bus driver, would you set aside retirement if one of your kids really wanted to work in aviation?
@dadofs, it would make sense to advise against draining all of one’s accounts in order to hang in until age 70, but that’s pretty extreme.
It’s hard to say how much will suffice in retirement. You mention two locations, but there’s also the question of lifestyle and health. There are many people who don’t have $7.2/m while they’re working, and they seem to do just fine.
“With DS, my reaction is the opposite. If I knew then what I know now, I would have started him in private (a pricey one) no later than middle school instead of high school. But, all’s well that ends well.”
I think you make the best decision at the time, and hindsight is 20/20. Most people think we are crazy, spending about a million over all these years for expensive private schools and college. Occasionally I think about how much that would have been, invested over the years, but the reality is, I would do the same thing all over again. My oldest son, a very shy, eccentric kid with Tourettes–he needed a small environment with brilliant, kind kids. A very difficult place to find, and he is happy, confident, and a very outgoing person now. I can’t even put a price on that, and it could have gone very wrong for him.
Of course, everyone has their own opinion, and everyone has a different situation.
Connections don’t go away just because the person/parent stops working. If someone thinks highly of your relative and respects him/her, those good feelings don’t go away just because that person retires, right?
In some companies, having a family member at the company can actually make it more challenging to get a job due to nepotism type rules. If its at the industry level, then not an issue.
Personally, often it is a case of what you know, not who you know. Who you know might get you the interview but that’s about it, at least in the industry I worked in.
@CaliCash, it’s none of my business, so ignore the question if you like, but do you really not know how old your Dad is?
Btw, I think that perhaps we sometimes will be able to put in a good word about the kids in some part of their professional lives, but I disagree emphatically with “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”
@doschicos Well, I suppose that’s true
“Bus driver, would you set aside retirement if one of your kids really wanted to work in aviation?”
Yes, and so would my husband, though we cannot work past age 65, legally. It would practically guarantee them a job at our company if they had the qualifications and the company was hiring. And it is a very good job. I would do whatever it took to help my kids, but then again, I like my job (as long as the health risks and fatigue doesn’t kill me).
@busdriver11, we believed the hype about our local public schools, which are excellent for many kids, but not necessarily all kids.
Good on you for making the effort to find a fit for your oldest son. I don’t know you, but it really made me happy to read about it.
Thank you, IxnayBob. At the time, we had no idea of how much money we were going to be into, but that’s probably a good thing. Sometimes when I read about kids who have been bullied, who suffered from some sort of physical or mental issue, who were always the quiet kids in school, and something went wrong…it makes me particularly sad, because I think that there might have been a good place for these kids, where they could have thrived. Whether it’s homeschool, private or alternative schools, there’s somewhere that might have worked for them. Children and particularly teenagers, can be incredibly abusive, and if you can avoid that during those tough years, that’s much of the battle. My kids were really fortunate to attend these schools, and I know that will pay dividends throughout their lives.
@busdriver11, you have a kid with Tourettes? That’s a lot to deal with.
@CaliCash, I have a good friend who delayed retirement so his kid could have a shot where he worked. The kid did not get hired even though he was well qualified. My friend retired.