"With all those years of experience, it would be impossible to get another position in this field. " - correct. You forgot one very important factor - age - 70 - 71 - nobody will hire me at this age, not anybody in the right mind anyway. I am not retiring until 70 - 71, not on my own will anyway.
My father has mellowed a lot in his old age. I think some has to do with less stress once he stopped working and some just through age and experience and realizing his time is limited so not worth sweating over the small stuff. I think it can depend on the individual.
I agree that it depends on the individual. I do think it probably helps to think ahead of time about post-retirement activities and to, if possible, come up with some that donāt depend on physical agility. My dad liked to read, watch TV, spend time with the family (although not too much time!), and play tennis. He gave up tennis at age 80 but continued the others until a month or so before he died.
"@busdriver11, if thatās true, then I look forward to an even funnier, even smarter, even more steadfast wife than I am blessed with today. "
Oh jeez, I walked into that one. You left out āeven better lookingā. 
āsome serious hobbies and obsessions before you retire,ā - I found these to be great blessing for empty nesters to fill the time after work. They will not fill my time when I retire though, just not enough. I took classes for one and studying another on my own. Very rewarding for now. I have been with the professional guild for several years."
I am glad you have found a small way to fill up some of the time. Who knows, you might be able to expand the classes and studying to more topics, related to what you like. At least itās something.
I fervently wish my DH would find some hobbies or start exercising ā or SOMETHING besides work and unhealthy eating. He will be unbearable in retirement, if it ever happens ā he hopes never to retire, but the way he treats his body, itās more likely heāll be disabled and miserable, turn to me as his personal attendant even more than he does already. (me? bitter much?)
āSeems very worthwhile to find some serious hobbies and obsessions before you retire, not after.ā
Amen. My FIL loved and breathed his work which was physically demanding. Whenever we visited, the only ghing he would talk about was his work! Finally, he was talked into retirement at the age of about 80, but he had nothing to look forward to because he had no hobbies. Zero! He turned into a grumpy, grouchy, irritable, glued to TV hermit who would not even get out of the house, and his health rapidly declined. Sigh.
Oh no, CountingDown, I hope you find ways to escape and do what you like. I also find myself resentful, for my mother. She is eleven years younger than my dad, very healthy and fit. These are the years she should be traveling, having fun, but she spends her life taking care of my dad, he barely appreciates it, and gives her so much crap when she is just trying to keep him healthy and safe. I donāt know why she puts up with this and loves him so much, he can be so selfish. Everything is always about him. When he passes away before her, I fear that she will no longer be healthy and can never do these things.
You have to find ways to get your enjoyment, too.
@busdriver11 Did the railing guy show up yet at your folksā house?
ā@busdriver11 Did the railing guy show up yet at your folksā house?ā
Yes! He bought the materials and installed the posts today! I canāt believe it. I guess my dad hasnāt gone nuts after all. Thank God!
Yippee! You and mom must be SO relieved! Glad for quick action before he changed his mind!
Busdriver, I have been working on creating the life I want for the past few years. Iāve been shown all too plainly that our days on this earth are limited. I just started a new PT job at our synagogue almost two months ago, which I am enjoying even though I am doing it practically for free. Did not go back to my former employer who paid a lot more, but wold also involve a long commute and more stress. May do some consulting on the side from home. In the meantime, it never rains, but it pours ā I have gotten a lot of fabric art/quilting commissions this year! So with all that, plus the charity quilting project Iām involved with and cardiac rehab, I am pretty busy (and happy about it).
The other reason Iām so focused on having a busy life is that S2 is living at home and at a certain level, he is very protective of me. (Heās the one who did CPR when I had the cardiac arrest.) I want him to feel free to launch and I donāt want to be an obstacle to that.
DH isnāt happy I went back to work, though he was also very unhappy with me being at home FT. I canāt win ā so I am doing whatās important to me ā which is what heās doing, only for him it involves 70+ hours/week at the office and on the road.
Biggest drawback to returning to work is that it limits my ability to travel to deal with family, etc.
I am so excited that your dad got the rails! Gives me hope that my dad may relent.
Soooo relieved. Every time my phone rings I think itās my dad, saying heās going to back out, or my mom saying sheās going to kill him. 
"DH isnāt happy I went back to work, though he was also very unhappy with me being at home FT. I canāt win ā so I am doing whatās important to me ā which is what heās doing, only for him it involves 70+ hours/week at the office and on the road.
Biggest drawback to returning to work is that it limits my ability to travel to deal with family, etc.
I am so excited that your dad got the rails! Gives me hope that my dad may relent."
Thatās a good thought, if you canāt win, then do what is important to you! May as well get some pleasure out of your life.
And yes, if my stubborn father will relent, there is hope for everyone. I guess he just had to truly realize that the other options were much worse.
@busdriver11 - Was your dad the one with the ladder story (for help navigating stairs)? Iāve laughed a lot over that one, imagining my grandfather or father be the kind to suggest that method.
Oh yes, colorado_mom, just think of the three of us with our heads sticking in that ladder, as he took us all down on the concrete steps. Instead of doing something sane. Thank God when it came down to it, both me and my Mom said, absolutely not. Engineers sometimes miss the big picture, I think!
Woo hoo @busdriver11 . That ladder vision was straight out of SNL or a Steve Martin or Carol Burnett/TimConway comedy skit.
^^Yes, exactly, sax! And just my luck there would be someone around to catch it their cell phone!
Hahaā¦ Oh boy. That would absolutely go viral and you would be roundly excoriated for obviously endorsing this brilliant strategy.
"He gave up tennis at age 80 but continued the others until a month or so before he died. " - I understand this very well. I will not give up my activities either. I swim, walk and do weights every day and all of these exercise is a great mood uplifting. I swim before work and nothing bothers me after my over 1 hour swim. It is much deeper relaxation than yoga and gives me very positive outlook for the rest of the day. I will stick to these activities until the day I cannot move. I feel sorry for those who do not even try,ā¦please, do for only one reason - loving you own self.