We looked at a group home for dementia patients in Missouri, it was about $7-8K/month, just a bit less than the nursing home, but a friendlier environment. Home care, assuming 24 hour coverage, would have been $12-14K/month. Other health issues came up and we did neither, but aging in place at home isn’t necessarily cheap. Once you get to the point where you can’t be left alone, the cost skyrockets. Daily visits supplemented with Life Alert only get you so far.
DH has hung onto his large term policy specifically to hedge against my medical bills. We originally got it to hedge for college and the mortgage. My chemo is $100k+ per year. If I’m not on his medical plan because something happened to him, there are no good options on the market that will keep my costs reasonable. Once he qualifies for retirement, I get some more protections no matter what happens. In the meantime, we pay the premiums.
We are doing the fun travel now. Who knows how long I can continue to do it given the health issues I’ve already had. My mom was bedridden at 64, and my MIL in her 50s. No more what-ifs in my life.
My husband and I are doing the “fun travel” now also. I’ve sort of resigned myself to working a little longer, but I want to take nice vacations and enjoy ourselves while we are still very able to do so. We differ in our opinion of whether we should include “adult” (but not self-supporting) children. I think our pattern with them will be a nice trip every other year. But we are fully fu ding our retirement accounts, and want to pay off our house before we retire.
1214mom, definitely taking my kids on trips.
We might take them to places like Sunriver Oregon when they have kids. We can drive. We can rent a house. My wife can cook. It will be a vacation for me. 
I said to my oldest daughter, I will take her family to Grand Wailea in Maui. She loves the pools. The slides. She loved going there as a kid.
I said, “Ok. I will take you and your family to Grand Wailea one time. Maybe for 1 day.
Then you are on your own”.
There are many vacation spots that are reasonably priced.
We are meeting up with our kids on our trips. All of us will be in SF in a few weeks and will see if they can meet us in Denver in June. They also visit us in HI when they are able. We visit them in their respective cities as well, when schedules permit.
We have invited them to come on our trip to other countries but their schedules don’t coincide with the trips and most of the others on the tour are in their 60s-80s, so not so fun for our kids. We haven’t thought too much about FUN trips for all of us, but the SF & Denver ones are trips for me to see doctors and we try to make those fun and eat at nice places and have a good time while we are there.
We stay at decent places–3 to 4* usually, not 5* because we don’t use the amenities that are associated with the higher prices and are mainly concerned about low allergens, conveneint location, and decent beds.
We are fairly confident that we will be OK with paying all our expenses for the rest of our life, even if we need care and still leave behind some assets for our kids and/or grandkids. We have excellent medical insurance and both qualify for Medicare A & B, so we will pay premiums on that an expect it will be enough. H has a defined benefit pension that will last his lifetime and at a 55% for my lifetime, we have some retirement accounts, and we have a few rentals. I will also get a small SS benefit, unless they start means testing, in which case I will likely not get anything.
@dstark, I agree. I am the one who likes to take the kids. But they don’t always want to go on the inexpensive vacations. If we are going to the Caribbean or Hawaii, they line up. If we are going to a National Park, one may come these days, but the others not interested. But at some point they won’t be interested at all, so I’m glad to have them. We met a family in Hawaii once. They were a party of 7(5kids), all staying in one room at the Grand Wailea. They said they brought some air mattresses from home, and were having a great time. That’s a pretty nice place. We are too cheap to stay there, but walk the beach in front of it daily when we go.
@1214mom, I forgot the kids have to say yes to our vacations.
My kids are older. They are into the trips. They like going with us. My daughters and my son in law already said yes to Sunriver. Summer 2017.
I have found after a certain age, maybe 26 years old, the kids are awesome.
@1214mom, where do you stay when you go to Maui?
Please take all the trips you can, with all the kids you can drag along (assuming your own future is paid for)
You never know when you will lose the ability to travel. Wishing we had done more…
We also like to have nice meals and times together while we can eat and drink pretty much whatever we like. We may have our future travel days curtailed by health rather than finances, so are enjoying what we can, while we can.
We are grateful we traveled with our kids from the time they were 6 months old and have no regrets. No one can no what the future will bring. Travel with older folks who get increasingly forgetful or who have dietary or activity limitations makes life MUCH less spontaneous.
I see that the discussion has moved along, but will post my thoughts, too.
There are a lot of people that aren’t wealthy (or at least not wealthy enough to make health care costs a non-issue), but aren’t impoverished either, for whom this is a problem. H and I fall into this category. Maybe when we turn 65 and qualify for medicare in a few years it will help. Right now, since H’s last corporate job came to an end, insurance for us and two kids is costing around $1400 a month, plus the deductible on top of that. We are looking for a new plan because COBRA is expiring, but they all seem to run in that ball park, with about a $5,000 deductible. Even so, that amount of money is not a big problem if you are earning an income of a certain amount. It becomes more of a problem when you are living off your savings . . .
Medicare doesn’t cover some things. For my dad (who passed away four years ago, )it did not cover in home care. Which started out as eight hours a day, but then went to 24 hours a day his last few months. At 22$/hour for 24 hours a day, it adds up. He didn’t want to have people coming in, but kind of was forced to do it, because the social workers at the hospital (he had colon cancer, and was hospitalized for surgery a couple of times) threatened to put him in a nursing home if he didn’t have someone come and take care of him at home.
I don’t know if you can get supplement to medicare that would cover in home care? Does anyone know? He had some supplement to medicare, but there was a lot that wasn’t covered. He didn’t want to go to a nursing home, and fortunately, he never had to. He died in his condo. I’m happy that he got that, at least. When he was finally sick enough to be eligible for hospice care, his in home care was covered. I think he was getting hospice services for about two weeks before he died.
He worked his whole life, owned his condo in Southern California, and had a nice nest egg (close to 500K), and was getting social security. He had some money, but wasn’t wealthy. Just before he died, he was worried about how much money was going toward home care, and how he would pay for it should he live longer than a couple of more years. It’s too bad that he had to worry about that, IMO. He was proud that he had managed to save money and own his own place, and wanted to remain independent. He always hoped, I think, to drop dead on the golf course, but that was not in the cards . . .
He went to the dentist (with his favorite caregiver, who I might add was well worth the $22/hour or so that it cost to have her come in) the last year of his life, and the dentist wanted to charge him over $20,000 to pull out all of his teeth. He decided to do nothing, didn’t want to spend the $$.
He was born during the depression, and was pretty frugal. His one big splurge, I guess, was golfing.
On another note, I guess whole west coast is crazy when it comes to real estate. I still sense that Portland area has some value when compared to Bay Area prices. I saw some houses (online search) in far northern California for pretty cheap. But they are not close to any major airports . . . H has been getting some consulting gigs from time to time, so larger airports are nice . . .
@mstee Have you checked on the ACA exchange to see what healthcare coverage you might be able to qualify for with your husband not working?
This site allows you to see differences in cost per location… Although it still seems expensive to us, costs in our area are much cheaper than places like Boston.
https://www.genworth.com/corporate/about-genworth/industry-expertise/cost-of-care.html
@dosios – H is looking into it. I am sure, though, that we have too many assets right now to qualify for subsidy. So, we are lucky. Really. I know this. I am just a little freaked out about living off savings when I wasn’t expecting to do it for a few years. Now I am wondering if we will outlive our savings. Since we are effectively retired earlier than expected. And I am worried about making investment mistakes with the 401K. Wondering whether to downsize now, or wait a year or two.
I remain optimistic that H can still get one more job, but it could be anywhere.
I am thinking maybe I could get a job, but am clueless where to start. I’m old and have been out of the workplace for over 30 years. 
I am really spending way too much time worrying about this. I would rather do art.
But with with the help and guidance of the CC community, we will figure it out. Seriously, you guys are great.
@mstee The way ACA works, should be to your benefit. The way it currently works is based on income. There is no asset test. You might have to wait until COBRA ends but it should work for you after that, is my guess. Definitely check it out!
Art is good therapy.
^ I guess the moral of that website is that if you need long-term care, move to the south or mid-west, where prices are 1/3-1/2 of the coastal cities.
Dallas semi-private nursing home - $57K
Boston - $131K
San Francisco - $132K
Long Island - $155K
These are huge swings.
@mstee, it is my understanding that Medicare in whatever form (A, B, or C; Choice; Advantage) really only covers medical care. And most of the care that people receive in home, even at the end of life, is not medical or even nursing care. Some states have Medicaid programs that provide nursing-home type services to people in the community (i.e., in their own homes) but there isn’t enough Medicaid to go around. Obviously, many people have low enough assets and income to qualify for Medicaid, but many others don’t qualify.
I don’t believe there’s any requirement to continue COBRA coverage. You can end it whenever you want and switch to the exchange.
As I understand it, you can get subsidies up to 4x the poverty line. How big is your family?
@dosichicos – good info, tks.
Here you go, @mstee, info on transitioning from COBRA to ACA.
https://www.healthcare.gov/unemployed/cobra-coverage/