It gets harder as time goes on, especially after he broke his hip 2 years ago at age 96. (Sigh, that was a fall when trying to get up from a chair, not stairs). He absolutely could not do the stairs (or the chairs) without continuous help and spotting from his much younger wife. They do need more help though soon. Maybe I’ll make a more detailed post in caring/parent thread.
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I stopped following that thread after my mother passed. Impressive longevity in your family. I know how difficult it is to convince aging parents of the need to adapt. Best of luck.
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The few exterior steps have no wall in both cited cases.
Yes on the quick fix - carrying groceries, one needs to have a hand on the rail going up. Going down, if having a hand along the wall is not enough. My free hand going down the steps typically is my left hand so I have that touching the wall for extra balance.
I foolishly carry things in both hands while climbing the stairs. I really should reconsider carrying an open can of soda in one hand and a glass filled with ice in the other hand.
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I am getting a preview of limited mobility due to the surgery. We installed a second bannister on our stairs when we did our renovation. Invaluable for me today as I can use both hands or either hand going up and down the stairs. We have no handrails for our one step. That has not been a problem. I guess we could install a ramp at one of the doors.
We are having difficulty @CT1417 and @Colorado_mom persuading my 93 yo MIL to take appropriate actions. After four falls (slides off bed in all cases I think), we ordered a service with a watch that can detect a fall and call her and/or emergency services and/or the three people on her contact list. All she needs to do is a) wear the watch; and b) charge it for two hours every three days. Is she doing it? No. “There is not a problem because I got rugs with a sticky bottom next to my bed.” She will not hire a person to live in to shop for/with her, take her to appointments etc. even though she has the room. It is not clear when no one is with her if she is eating or hydrating enough. Rather than having every conversation starting with an interrogation, ShawWife has decided to back off and just let whatever happens happen.
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Same, same here. It’s very difficult to step back
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I went through all of this with my mother. It was VERY difficult to convince her of the need to wear the fall alert necklace. (Pre Apple Watch timeframe.) However, she became convinced of its use after falling in the garage which is below her house. ADT alerted the fire department who were able to rescue her.
Does your MIL have a pull-up bar on her bed? That is not the actual name for it, but it’s this maybe 12 or 18 inch bar that is placed between the mattress and the boxspring which can be used to pull up from a flat position. It helped my mother tremendously.
The only way we were able to convince her of the need for any of the adaptations was when they were recommended by the physical therapist who visited her at home.
I understand your wife’s position; it is a very difficult phase.
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Same here. We installed Life Alert in my mom’s house after an outside fall that broke her patella, but that was three years ago and she hasn’t had a mishap since, so she no longer wears the device. There’s no point making an issue of it. My brother and I spent all of June getting my dad and his wife into assisted living after a dual hospitalization that left them unable to care for themselves or each other. My dad has “recovered,” his wife is in end-stage heart failure and spends more time in the hospital than in AL. Against all advice, they are now in the process of moving themselves back to the house (to await the inevitable). Oh well. We hug them and wish them well. Nothing else to be done.
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Alas, I’ve heard from a few people that getting parents to actually wear their fall-detection devices is hard or impossible. I was fortunate with my mother, who lived near me. She had pull chains at bed and toilet in her section 8 (low income) apartment, but she arranged her own device, for call as needed (no fall detection) - it transmitted to her landline. She charged it regularly and arranged testcase with me monthly. I’d sit on her couch with my cellphone, 1st number on the call list (last was 911). Ha - still when she actually did fall once, she dragged herself to the desk and pulled down the landline phone. I was very proud of her researching and setting up the device, which had no monthly fees.
My father, 2000 miles away, has wife who helps and monitors him (though I’ suggested device for her after she fell a few years ago and he could not hear her; finally neighbors heard through the open screen door). Yesterday though there was a literal bump in the road. While doing their regular walk at empty school parking lot, he fell (I think his walker caught on something). He only had a skinned knee (YAY!), but they had to get help to get him up and safely to the car. But at least for now, no more of his beloved outdoor walks.
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Hugs to all dealing with parents’ health issues. It is hard to be a helicopter child of stubborn elderly parents.
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My MIL lives in a very nice CCRC in one of their independent houses (she owns the house but not the land…and the CCRC will deal with sales if she ever dies). MIL has call things in every room of her house…and has never ever used them, even with she should have. At this point, she has 24/7 caregivers so it’s not an issue. But really…they were there for her (and FIL) since they moved to this place in 2011…never used.
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My almost 95 year old mother refuses to wear one because they are all “ugly” and “not fashionable”. And she has fallen twice with bone breaks, one of which she had to drag herself across the floor with a broken femur to reach a phone. What can you do?
At least now, the IL place she lives at has a button she needs to push by 11am or they come check on her.
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Are our mothers related? My 94 year old mother also refuses due to being ugly, heavy and would ruin the look of her outfit! I spent days looking for the best and more fashionable; I got a rose gold one which I think looks fine. Well she says it was too big/heavy (it weighs 1.28oz. and 2.15”x1.3”.) 
I have finally given up on trying to convince her to wear it; it is not worth the battle anymore.
@shawbridge said about, mom’s sister and I decided we would let whatever happens happen. Unfortunately, my mom is only happy when she is unhappy and complaining about something. While this isn’t new, she has been like this for 25 years, I feel the pressure to make her happy.
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My FIL had meals on wheels and when he did not open the door they realized he was on the floor from a stroke. My mother refused to carry her cell phone in her pocket- she knew how to use it. And she wore the alert button on her neck but didn’t think anything was an emergency.
Our parents are deceased. But, I thought maybe now with remote monitoring and you can even talk to them (like the dog commercials do) it might be the best option. Any one ever try that?
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I’ve mentioned it before, but be aware the fall alert buttons don’t help if your parent slips slowly getting out of bed and hits her head on the night table and is on blood thinners so never recovers. The buttons react to sudden movement, not merely change of position. So may or not end up being helpful.
My MIL (no button at the time) once slipped on her very steep staircase in the house she refused to leave and spent about eight hours getting herself upstairs and to a phone. She’s the one that thought her gerontologist social worker was a public service and not being paid by her children. Or she would have refused the help.
Our house is mainly one story but there are three or four steps to the front door, and from the main floor down into the master bedroom, and from the garage to back doors on two levels. Front and indoor stairs don’t have bannisters. I envision all of these can eventually be ramped. When husband had hamstring reattachment surgery, he insisted on sleeping in the “downstairs” bedroom and eating on the main floor and having me help him up and down those inside three steps. I hated that responsibility.
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We can live mostly on one floor, with two steps up from the garage, and two steps up to the front porch with a small step into the house. Hopefully it will be easily navigable, although ramping would be straightforward.
When we did our big renovation we put in wide doors that should be wheel chair ready if needed. The one thing we didn’t do (for cost reasons) was put in a zero height threshold into the shower. We may regret this down the road, when it will be even more expensive to fix.
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Yea but that ice will come in handy if you fall. 
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I once dropped a not fully-capped bottle of water on the stairs. The water went EVERYWHERE! Soda would be so messy.
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Didn’t you say that you were in Brazil at the moment? How are you managing travel while also needing two handrails?
Just last week I took a day off work so my wife and I and her BIL and SIL could help my in-laws temporarily move some of their stuff to a new CCRC unit because theirs was damaged from a water leak. The facility sent 6 movers. It could have all been done in an hour or two if we’d been able to convince them to leave for the day. But they insisted on “supervising.” We spent most of our time managing them and trying to keep them out of the movers’ way. Took all day, sigh.
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