H and I are facing the same issues with downsizing. I would like a smaller house, but there’s nothing in our area that I would move to. We would like to be closer to D, but condos in the area we would prefer are extremely pricey and the monthlies are very high or they would be less expensive but need a lot of work. I did find one 55 and over community where you purchased your condo (and the prices were reasonable) but I’m not interested in paying 8k and over (per month) for amenities we don’t need right now. I’ve looked at rentals and again, very expensive. So for now we will stay. I am currently cleaning out our basement which is full of stuff from my parents, my paternal and maternal grandparents, my aunt and my great grandparents. For some reason my parents never did anything with the things they accumulated over time. Once that’s gone we’ll be able to focus on our “stuff” and have a better idea of how much space we will actually need.
We are living parallel lives.
I love my house (especially the porch) and/but recognize that someday I may not be able to stay. I receive Zillow notices daily for homes where each of my daughters lives—but I am not ready to decide between them.
I have a good community here in the Northern Virginia area, but I think I will eventually want to be near one of my daughters.
Right now I am sitting near DH’s yearbooks and memorabilia, sorting through. It’s a process.
P.S. @Colorado_mom my wish includes a (former) college campus converted to senior living residences. I just read that Cazenovia College in NY will be transitioned to a mixed-use project.
Great that you are taking the steps to be able to move on the right apartment at the right time. Also, glad that the home is manageable for you (although better so when husband was healthy/active/alive with all that he did with home care and maintenance). Enough that you are grieving the loss of your husband and the life changes/adjustments you have been making as a not-by-choice single person.
The network of friends is a wonderful support system - and great that you have been in the house for 4 years now (settled in) and also have the choice to leave your home and go into an apartment when the time is right for you and for the right apartment.
We got a letter from H’s cousin yesterday. She is in her mid-70’s, and her H has battled health problems since forever. She had always indicated that she wants to move closer to her D (several states away) after her H passes, but her H’s issues are prompting a more immediate change of plans. Her H now has a litany of issues that include dementia, and she has concluded that she can’t keep taking care of him and the house. They are planning to move into a senior living facility that is breaking ground in the spring. It’s going to be a tough year while she waits for the facility to open - but it’s only five minutes from their house, so it will be close to friends, church & all his doctors. Life definitely takes unexpected twists and turns. They are very fortunate to have the financial means to make the move sooner than planned.
It’s a good thing we don’t want to retire to Aspen, CO
From Washington Post daily digest email
THE NUMBER - 161%
The increase in $20 million home sales in Aspen, Colo., between 2024 and last year. Five years ago, such sales were rare. An influx of wealthy buyers has upended that norm, handing the area 34 deals above $20 million last year. The median single-family home price in Aspen hit $13.95 million during 2025’s third quarter, compared with $9.97 million in Palm Beach, Fla., which begs the question: Is Aspen now outpacing that hotbed of ultraluxury home sales, as one of the priciest markets in the country?
I’m willing to bet that almost all of them are second (third,fourth…) homes.
There was an article in the WSJ on this exact topic. I don’t know if both papers are pushing out the same content? The Journal article mentioned that most are second, third, etc homes. It also compared FL & CO income & property tax costs.
My brothers best friend has a house in Aspen. I believe it cost more than 55 million. For their 60 th birthdays he hosted my brother and others. My brother said it was just an insane experience with a full time private chef making them meals ( breakfast lunch and snacks….dnners were out in fancy restaurants). My brother has been friends with him since kindergarten. When our family finances made it difficult for my brother in college( brother attended with his friend) his friend’s parents were like “ our son would be devastated if you left school, we will take care of your costs”. They never made a big deal of it or discussed it. His parents were very well off, but their son took the family business to new levels. He was always very hard working.
I could retire on that!!!
But oh my… the RMD challenges you’d have 
Ha - bring it on.
I wonder if there is anything I can do in advance of predeceasing ShawWife with respect to points. I have millions of them. This post prompted me to look: 1.5 MM BA points that I find hard to use economically, 1.1 MM JetBlue points that are pretty easy to use so I should use them, 1.5 MM Amex points which are easy to use and a bunch of Chase points, a few hundred thousand spread around other airlines and a couple of million hotel points. I have purchased tickets with over 3 MM AA miles over the years and used a lot of Star Alliance miles.
I try to spend them but a lot of my travel is reimbursed or tax deductible. In the next three months, I’ve got trips to CA, DC, Western Canada, Florida, Mexico. I think the CA and Florida trips are not being reimbursed and am using points for hotels in CA. Probably needed to pay for the airfare to keep my status. I have another trip coming up to Memphis – I wonder if I can use points for that.
I definitely should use the hotel and airline points as they get devalued with each program change. I should just use my Chase and Amex points on purchases but I have been thinking about using all the points for a grand family vacation, but I probably should just use all the points and pay cash when it is vacation time. At the moment, we can’t figure out how to get ShawSon and his wife and ShawWife and her now fiance (as of a week ago – hooray) to have overlapping schedules.
Wedding in the summer – I think ShawWife wants to do it while her one remaining grandparent is still allive and will do it at Grandma’s farm (just like we and ShawSon did). No points to use there as we will drive up.
In case I don’t, I should figure out how to bequeath them so my beneficiaries don’t have trouble using them.
The K-shaped economy is in full force. In both Florida and Colorado, the ultra-luxury market is hot to white hot.
My sense is that Florida real estate other than the ultra-luxury market is in decline. Some combination of people who moved there during the pandemic and people who don’t like hurricanes and the most expensive home insurance market in the country have moved out or are at least scared of paying top dollar for homes. Oh and probably the collapse of that old condo in Surfside might have an effect also. Do new buyers have to assume liability for all of the deferred maintenance that the condo associations have not done? If I were thinking of buying in Florida (which I was and might be), I would wait until the market settle out.
It’s certainly worth looking up the inheritance/transfer rules for each kind of points. That’s how I learned the only way I could get husband’s HHonors points was if I already had my own account at DOD. Also, a lot of reward programs have ways of using points other than “in kind.” Some may allow to redeem for various gift cards, for example. We have a lovely beach umbrella that I got decades ago using United points.
Has anyone looked at condos in the Fort Myers area lately?
The market seems to be lots of properties and low prices. I was shocked to be honest
I got an enameled pot and a ceramic frying pan from Turkish Airlines when points were expiring. It was very tough to get their website to work.
With BA the problem seems to be that the UK charges a very high tax for flying into Heathrow which somehow means that you a paid ticket is not much more expensive than a ticket bought with points. And it is hard but not impossible to find availability on partner airlines. I believe my EA has software that finds availability. Not sure i need to schedule another vacation – ShawWife is going to come with me to Mexico City where I have a couple of days of work and then we are going to spend a few days in Oaxaca. But maybe if we plan far enough ahead we can use some BA points on a partner airline. Need to see where they might be able to take us. SE Asia – I’d like to go back to Vietnam again – on Cathay or JAL? Or Korea?
I’m not looking now @deb922. I would either look in Sanibel that I know very well or perhaps the Longboat Key/Sarasota area where we have some friends.
We will have a decision at some point as to whether to buy my MIL’s place in Sanibel. I don’t think we will although the setting is fantastic – on a lagoon one block from the beach. The house has mold so ShawWife can’t sleep in the bedrooms that easily. There is no studio, though we could probably enclose the deck to create a studio.
I wonder if concrete buildings are more likely to be more mold-resistant.
https://www.wsj.com/real-estate/florida-cape-coal-home-prices-3f64a0df
My better half and I just toured a 2 BR apartment. It was 1300 sq feet vs our house at 3400. The thought is sell the home, buy fixed income with the proceeds and have the income pay the rent and a bit more. No landscaping, repairs…gym on site etc. walk to restaurants.
Don’t know we ever will but the fact we even stopped in - who knows.
While I work late and watch tv and my wife may not like my brightness or loudness, these places have lounges and private work stations so I can see it working.
So the apartment building has communal space for TV and work. How about for entertaining?
From what you write here, it sounds like you have plenty of money. YOu might consider donating your excess points to some of the charities that use airline travel. I believe you can do it right through the airlines websites.
These new one have big lounges with tvs, pool table, some with kitchen. My daughter lives on one like this but then some like the one today also have private work spaces too. A lot of newer complexes are amenity friendly.
Of course it’s an apartment - you have neighbors, lack space etc.
it’s a nice thought 
whether we’d do it I dunno. Would have to sell our house too - likely not easy. I wish we did 3 years ago in the insatiable market. But who doesn’t ..