I’m on the other side. It’s his dad. In the end, if you weren’t married, the money would go to him.
As I learned above, you have no limit in giving up to the estate tax.
So you can inherit and then you all can proceed from there as to how to handle, including what to give the kids, if anything, at that time.
All this talk is so morbid.
Hey, you can’t take it with you. I suppose you could, but you won’t need it. 
None of us can. But if someone wants to leave money to me, it’s their right. It’s not my place to redirect them.
In this case, it’s the husband’s parents. U defer to him.
When my wife’s parents passed, I did not get involved in the inheritance. It was between her and the siblings. We were younger but if it was today I’d act similarly.
I hate to think of it but when my dad passes, she will lean back.
I didn’t say they shouldn’t give the money to the kids. That’s a they decision when they have it.
I said that I’m with the hubby. If he wants to leave the beneficiaries of his parents money as is, how the parents wish it to be, I’d be fine with it. Why create an argument where it’s not needed?
It’s the parents money, not @threeofthree money and it’s just my belief that it should be as they (the parents) desire.
Then @threeofthree and Mr three of three can adjust later when they have the funds if both desire.
I’m not suggesting greed but rather letting the blood relative and those whose money it is to begin with have the say so, especially when they are alive.
Thanks
I can tell you the grandfather would be delighted to leave the money to the grandkids instead of us. That’s not the issue. Husband just hates to discuss anything related to death. Husband doesn’t have an issue with the children getting the inheritance, he just has a problem talking about any of this. If you knew how hard it was for me to get our will done and get our finances in order to leave to our kids and what to spend, where to spend, how to spend it might make more sense but just not broaching the subject because the subject matter makes you uncomfortable at 70 years old is silly.
Maybe that’s a husband thing. Ditto :). I wish you luck however it goes.
Failing to plan is planning to fail. (Ben Franklin)
I don’t see failure. Money goes to kids. Eventually to grand kids. The result is the same. Maybe the path and timing are different.
Maybe because we only have one kid, I don’t worry much about our estates and inheritance. At some point she will get it all - end of story.
I agree, and we don’t plan to give money to any grandkids. All living gifts and what’s left go directly to our son. He and his wife can decide how to use the money for themselves and any children they may have. We trust him to educate and provide for his own kids with what we give/leave him.
Same here. IF there is anything left, it will be equally divided between our two kids. They can do whatever they choose (I won’t know because I won’t be here to see!). It will be up to them.
My father had a trust set up to take care of my mother just a few weeks before he died (he had about 4 months from diagnosis to he passing). I am the Trustee. This was about 20 years ago when all the grandchildren were under 10.
The trust stipulates that after my mother passes, my sister gets 4/7 and I get 3/7. She has 2 kids and I only one, this made it so that each person within our families were “equal”. We used to laugh at this - my father the engineer. Now of course all the grands are grown and on their own. We still laugh.
I know a family where the parents when they set up their trust had it divided up equally between their children and the grandchildren. Eight heirs so each got 1/8 of the estate. When it was set up, the grandkids were small, their parents in good shape financially.
All well and good except that in the intervening years, some of the children had financial setbacks (bankruptcies and divorce). This child also lived with and took care of their mother yet their child, the grandchild received the same portion.
I don’t know how I feel about it. The answer is that we shouldn’t need our parent’s inheritance. But what if it is?
I know my in-laws took an inheritance after some financial set backs to build the wealth they enjoy today. So they are set for any future medical expenses. Nothing is guaranteed, and it’s up to each party to decide how to divide their money. Food for thought to me.
This may belong in another thread, but since we are all talking about how to pass on to our kids, I will share and would like your opinion.
My mom has 4 kids. I am the oldest and the first 3 kids are fairly responsible and we have done fine financially. My youngest brother has always been very irresponsible with money. Even though he has always had a good paying technical jobs, he has spent every penny he has ever made. His biggest issue with all of us, especially my parents is he felt we didn’t respect from, so there is a lot of psychological issues there.
My mom probably will have estate in the multiple 7 figures to pass on to 4 of hours (unless she were to get very sick), but it is not going to make anyone of us rich. My other siblings want my mom to put the younger brother’s share into a trust and have one of us be the trustee, so he doesn’t spend it all right away. I do see some merit in it, but my mother thinks it would just be another reason for him to feel like my mother doesn’t respect him, and she doesn’t want that to be last memory of her. I do agree with my mom, but my siblings are pushing to set up a trust for him.
So those who aren’t concerned because they only have one child and that one child will “ get all of it”, do you have any estate plan? A will or a trust? Suppose you pass away, everything goes to your spouse first and they remarry and leave everything to the second spouse. Your child gets nothing. This has happened to people I know. Never say never.
Also, if you die without a will the state determines who gets your money. Depending on the state , your siblings make claims.
The timing is the big thing, quite a big thing actually - directly to grandkids when they will likely need it most with no taxes on the Roths or doled out at $38k a year over x number of years from the parents that don’t need it?
I agree with you and your mom, and I can see why he feels disrespected.
Does he ask your siblings for money? If not, I don’t know why they feel the need to try to control him. Do y’all really know that he spends every penny? How do you know that? Sometimes we have old family scripts that need to be edited.
I hate to admit on this forum, but my husband and I do not have wills or trusts (we know we probably should). We have indicated for all of our accounts (brokerage and banks) a beneficiary. We don’t own a home, so basically this should cover close to 100% of our assets. Obviously, if one of us remarries after the death of the other, that person could change beneficiaries. We are old and retired now, I don’t imagine any remarriages after widowhood (but as you say you never know). If I were the remaining spouse, I would definitely do a prenup if I remarried.
“my mother thinks it would just be another reason for him to feel like my mother doesn’t respect him, and she doesn’t want that to be last memory of her. I do agree with my mom, but my siblings are pushing to set up a trust for him”
If this younger brother has children, I would consider that based on his past financial issues to have the estate pass with meaning and not with someone that spends to where it has no meaning - it is not out of disrespect but out of love to have her financial resources be properly used. Just as you don’t give someone that is a gambler, drug user, even alcoholic financial resources that they will fritter away.
But it is her money and her estate. Have her consider that he needs to be saved from himself and it is out of love, not disrespect.
All of our paperwork is in order (wills, trust, funeral directives, H/POAs, passwords, bank accounts, etc.) and specifies exactly what should happen upon the death of each/both of us. All are kept up-to-date, DS gets a copy with each revision, and he knows the parties to call (FA/lawyers) when the time comes. Our FA and lawyers continue to make sure we leave no stone unturned. No one but me, DH, and DS walks away with anything.
If our son should pass before we do, whatever we have left will be evenly split among any grandchildren held in trust until each reaches the age of 25 (with provision for early disbursement for college education purposes). If there are no grandchildren, the estate will pass to the University of Michigan.
What if your spouse is the remaining spouse? In the two cases that I know of, it was the widower who remarried and his second wife walked away with everything.