<p>Just accept yourself the way you are and with maturity comes genuine confidence and poise. If you force yourself to talk, whatever you say will most likely sound forced as well. Perhaps you’ll become naturally extroverted someday (if that’s possible), but don’t feel pressured. Just do whatever feels natural.</p>
<p>I’m an introvert like you but don’t see anything wrong with it. In fact, I’m so comfortable with it that people are intimidated by me because I won’t talk just for the sake of talking (I usually don’t say “how are you?” if I didn’t mean it). I also dislike when a group conversation turns into a match of who’s funniest, wittiest, or coolest (that is so high school!). I either stay quiet in resistance or if I’m extremely annoyed ask why/how what they’re saying is relevant. People who feel pressured to be funny or witty and succumb to that pressure disturb me. Yes, I might come across as aloof, but I’m actually nice (in that if someone finds him/herself in an unpleasant situation, I’d readily offer comfort and reassurance).</p>
<p>Nilved wrote: “I do like being around people. I like having fun with my friends and meeting new people. And I do make good friends. But I don’t know how to be more outgoing in general, and it puts a damper on everything because I always feel like I come across badly to people. I go to a good school, and I’m a really good student, and I’m involved.”</p>
<p>Honestly, Nilved - your above comment shows that you have what you need to succeed in the job search. Remember an interview is not similar to a casual meeting on the street between strangers. There is a purpose, and agenda and the people involved have a vested interest in a successful outcome. You will be able to talk with the interviewer because you will have an interest in this subject. And, since you go to a good school, are a good student and involved - you will have good letters of recommendation.</p>
<p>I think you will be surprised how many of the people with whom you interview are introverts and will appreciate your style. I know it seems like most people are extraverts, but really the distribution is close to 50/50. I would venture a guess that the majority of parents posting on this site are introverts and most are quite successful. They are also generous and outgoing (in their own way) and post often in an effort to help others. One important thing to remember, as an introvert, is to “think first, then respond”. That is your natural style and there is nothing wrong with using that style in an interview. In fact, you may be surprised to learn that it is extraverts who generally have the most regrets about their interviews because they talk first, then think or, at best, talk while thinking - they sometimes appear shallow, unfocused, or circular in their thinking.</p>
<p>Since you are an introvert, I would recommend reading a few (or many) books about interviewing. Prepare in advance for the “common questions” - a mirror can be your best friend - and let your passion (or at least interest) in the subject/job carry you forward. Learn about the company job for which you are applying. </p>
<p>You might want to read more about personality type. What you are describing actually involves two different preferences - introversion and intuitive. The preference for fewer, closer relationships (introversion) and the preference for conversations about ideas, concepts, meaning (intuitive). These two are separate traits - there are many witty introverts with a penchant for trivia and wordplay and rapidfire comebacks but get bored in deep discussions. Just as there are extraverts who prefer meaningful discussions with friends and disdain trivia. The purpose of personality type is to learn more about yourself so that you can lead with your strengths and find the best place to be “yourself” rather than having to pretend to be another type.</p>
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<p>You need to realize that most people are thinking about themselves, so there’s often no need to worry what they think about you.</p>