OP- why does the entire family need to go? Your D can visit a college on her own, have admissions set her up with a student to host her in the dorm on an air mattress, so the only expense is bus/train.
I did the “official college tours” with all my kids- but then new colleges popped up, and spouse and I were out of vacation time so the kids did some schools (particularly ones where the Greyhound/Amtrak connections were easy) on their own. Admissions offices were great about facilitating the visits- they understand that hotel rooms and food for an entire family is a budget buster for most people.
So no- the entire family does not have to visit. But it really makes a difference in senior year if your kid has at least one safety they are honestly and truly excited about!!! And don’t forget- March/April is really, really busy for HS kids. How many accepted students days can a kid visit? The decision window is pretty narrow, and there are school commitments going on every single day and weekend as well.