<p>You should add:
- Your grade
- whether the professor can send you a few his/her publications so that you can have a better understanding of his/her research.<br>
- What is your specific interest (include #3 if and only if you have one)
- ask for a face-to-face meeting. </p>
<p>I would exclude “I know that I am young and in high school” because it doesn’t sound very confident.
Hope my suggestions help.</p>