<p>Change “I was wondering if” to something like " I am interested in any suitable research positions in your lab." Change “I am fascinated by your pursuit of the Biological sciences” to something like “I am interested in biology”<br>
Describe your background - what , if any experience in a lab do you, what bio courses have you taken, have you done any science team stuff…
Change “Would you please email me back…” to “Can I meet with you to discuss any openings”?</p>