I think this is right. Parents often look at boarding school as a way to get into a great college, and I think that misses the point. Boarding school isn’t the thing that gets you somewhere else, it is the thing. A kid will get an amazing education at an elite boarding school, if they are at a place that matches them well. If you want to talk finance, I agree with those who say that resources spent on your high school student go much farther than those spent on your college student. College has resources, but they also have alcohol openly in their rooms, boyfriends and girlfriends staying over in the rooms (or worse, your roommates boyfriend/girlfriend), and all kinds of distractions that pull the student from having an excellent academic experience. There is more structure around the academic experience at boarding school.
And why the focus on getting into a top undergrad school? It mattered a lot 30 years ago, but now when I see a kid with a BA from Harvard, I think, “they only have an undergraduate degree.” There are a few professions where it helps to graduate from a top school with a BS/BA, but those paths are fewer every year. I suspect it is better to get a great education at a boarding school, be very successful in undergrad, then worry about the right graduate program. Grad school does matter.
The main thing is that a kid can get a great education at a top boarding school, and that is an end in itself. They will be a better undergrad student, too.
I think the top NYC private schools do have better college admissions stats than the top large BS these days. I think for 2 major reasons: 1) NYC private schools have a much larger percentage of very wealthy/large donor/legacy students (and all that goes with that); and 2) most of the NYC private schools graduate 20-30% of the class size of the largest BS - most elite colleges simply don’t want 20+ kids from one school any more, but 5-7 is much more likely.
I think another reason is that the NYC private schools (and all private day schools) are much less economically diverse. By definition they only draw from the population that lives nearby, which equals less diversity. In terms of college admission, it is the greater percentage in the top whatever (0.1%?) percent that matters.
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