<p>Tell you what: I won’t complain about you shifting the whole burden of planning for living on one’s own for the very first time to your kids if you don’t complain about our personal choice to let me participate, albeit only to the extent of clothes (about which he could care less!)…If you don’t want to participate in this part of the leave-taking process, fine. That’s your choice. But please don’t tell me I can’t because my S is “supposed to be an adult. (complete w/multiple exclamation points)”…Personally, I think it’s indicative of his adulthood (and sensitivity) that he has identified something I can do that doesn’t infringe on his independence and still lets me feel like I’m part of this…and until he pays his own way, I most definitely am a part of this!</p>
<p>How to alleviate the dilemma:</p>
<p>If they are going to a service academy, they don’t even need to take a change of underwear! Of course, they get to wear those lovely white-works as plebes at USNA, but after the summer they get their uniform issue and, my oh my! They do look great in those service mess dress uniforms (analogous to a tux). And they keep their rooms clean, too! Can’t imagine that after seeing my son’s room this morning! (He’s home for the summer). Just a different perspective!</p>
<p>And, Overanxiousmom, I really like the way you have defined the issue. If we parents have something relatively innocuous to obsess about, then we feel as if we have control over SOMETHING and it just makes the whole process easier for everyone. For me, well, I was the keeper of the paperwork.</p>
<p>I see nothing wrong with some guidance and asking questions…if my husband had his way, he would bring 2 pairs of shorts and three t shirts on vacation…and he is almost 50!!</p>
<p>Sometimes the whole process is overwhelming, ask any one who has moved, and if parts can be broken down and shared, why not? As well, this time of talking to son about what to bring, what he needs, can also be the start of some really good conversations. And its a way to connect and slow down a bit during this exciting and scary time…</p>
<p>When my 16 D was packing for three weeks away, I went through her stuff and said, honey you seem to have three green tank tops, but no underwear!! She was so excited she was forgetting things, my job was to steer her back…</p>