Neither one of my kids wanted Greek life, so for us there was nothing to determine. We never even thought about it with our older one. With my younger one, she crossed off schools that she initially loved once she learned about the large Greek presence. She felt (right or wrong- it’s her feeling) that sorority life meant everybody would be the same and there would be little room for individuality. She also hates “cliques” and views sororities as “cliquey” (again, just how she feels and does not make her right). She is also not into parties and thought (right or wrong who knows) that sorority life meant parties. On a positive note she recognizes that it would have given her a friend group right away. She also recognizes the good community service work that these kids do.
Not being chosen is real - I have seen it - and is no way to start the year. This may happen more at some schools than at others.