<p>My way of thinking is more in line with pacheight’s at this point, although it wasn’t always so. D is now in her second year in college, and first year was definitely a challenge for her. I did ask her about grades regularly. Then I realized that she was working hard, she was pushing herself, she had a difficult load in a major she wasn’t entirely wed to and that ultimately, success or failure depended upon her. If she got an A in a course or a C in a course - well, it wouldn’t impact me. Yes, I want her to be successful, but for herself, not for me. I jokingly ask if her grades are good enough to return and yes, they always are. She’s in her school’s engineering honors program and didn’t necessarily have the advanced background many of her classmates arrived with but she has persevered. She’s found her way to a major she likes and is enthusiastic about; no, it’s not what she intended when she came to college, but it’s what she’s enjoying the most.</p>