“relevant about the type of work that I do”
That’s not relevant to what they look for. You risk a reaction that you’re too professional already. And unaware of what they do look for, what makes them tick, what makes you one they want. It’s incomplete.
Your writing here shows you’re smart. But these colleges are looking for match. You have to make sure you understand what that means.
These aren’t incubators. Nor internships, funding sources, or contests.They’re communities. Even if you were a Steve Jobs, they’re looking for how you fit, what you’ll contribute to the whole, as a mortal. Even H says, would you make a great roommate? You’ve got to be more than this business.
“A top-tier education would give me the benefit of studying with world-class professors and gaining invaluable knowledge, as well as having a sturdy, reputable degree to my name”
Not a solid answer to a Why Us. It comes across as the college as a commodity, to meet your purposes. Focuses too much on the college rep. Lots of non tippy tops have world class profs, fab opportunities, etc. TT adcoms know this.
It’s what they call a generic answer. They don’t feel the love. Or knowledge of them.
I agree with collegemom3717 and cpt. We’re trying to explain something dufficult in short responses.
Many kids see getting into a tippy top as hierarchical. Best grades, more leader titles, more money made, better this or that. But it’s holistic.
Try not to tell them you just want them cuz they’re the best and so are you and your dreams.