How to Raise a Genius: Lessons from a 45-Year Study of Supersmart Children

Parent Cafe
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Hi jonri,
I think I must have read the British version of Little Women, because I don’t recall the elements that you mention from “Good Wives.”

QMP read quite a lot, and then there were things that we read aloud to her.

Of the read aloud set: all 7 or so volumes in the Anne of Green Gables series (age 6 or so), the Hobbit (about age 5), the Madeleine L’Engle books (A Wrinkle in Time, Many Waters, A Swiftly Tilting Planet, others she read in 4th grade and later), some poetry.

Read by QMP (among the more memorable ones) from kindergarten through early elementary: the Narnia books, Tom Sawyer (but not Huckleberry Finn until later), biographies including one of Abigail Adams that was quite influential, the old work-horse classics of my childhood: Pippi Longstocking, Caddie Woodlawn, Homer Price, Stuart Little, The Secret Garden, the Little House on the Prairie series (we visited De Smet and found ourselves in the middle of a feud between two groups selling Little House memorabilia–I actually purchased dirt from the Ingalls’ homestead site, which was sold in small glass baby food jars in one of the stores there–cross reference to the Bag a Week Club), then all of Tolkien books that were available at the time, a light ton of cheezoid Scholastic Books, a variety of poetry, The Giver, the Redwall series (until–spoiler alert–one of the characters who was presumed dead in an earlier book or part of the same book, and whom QMP had actually mourned, turned out not to have died after all, which resulted QMP’s hurling the book across the family room, in disgust with the author for pulling that trick and in disgust with herself for falling for it), the Wayside School series (these are really excellent for a young student with an interest in mathematics), assorted Raymond Smullyan (What is the Name of this Book? The Lady or the Tiger–lots of logic puzzles, culminating in Goedel’s theorem, although that was not quite reached) . . .

I gave away most of the non-heirloom children’s books to the elementary school or to Goodwill, so I can’t really provide anything like a full list. Going through the ones remaining on the childhood bookshelf felt invasive, so I am not doing that either.

I know there is death and cruelty in these books. QMP had a very hard time with death in The Hobbit (about age 5)–more than I had expected, and perhaps part of the basis for my reasoning on this thread.

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With the mention of Pippi Longstocking: Boy, did those books bother me when I was young. I found them very unsettling. Part of it was the wild, chaotic things she did. I’m much more of “toe the line” type. The whole theme of not having parents around is something I found very disturbing as well. It’s funny how young minds can work because these concepts bothered me more than more adult themes I found in other books I read. I felt both sadness and distaste for Pippi. Those books never made it onto my own kids’ bookshelves.

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@HImom Our S’s would have gotten along well.

DS swore off animated movies for at least a year after Finding Nemo. Other adults said, “Oh yeah, the sharks were scary, right?” He said, “No, vegetarian sharks are funny.” His problem was that he spent the whole movie not believing Nemo could possibly be found since the Pacific Ocean is soooo much bigger than a fish. He kept telling me in the movie theater that there was no way to find him. I told him it was a movie, trust me, they’ll find him. Just too much stress…

I don’t think he’s ever gotten around to watching Bambi or Dumbo after the initial scenes.

He stopped reading the Magic Treehouse series after a couple chapters of the Pompeii book. He said, “I saw pictures of those bodies in my volcano book. I don’t want to read about it happening.”

Anyway, our strategy ended up being that he mostly read non-fiction until about 3rd grade. In 3rd grade, he was very motivated to read Harry Potter, and getting though book 4 seems to get him past some of his fear of reading “books with conflict.” After he read the 7th book (maybe in 5th grade?), he said he felt he could now read anything. (He didn’t know about true stories from WWII etc at that point, of course.)

DS read the Lord of the Rings trilogy in 5th grade, and I still have the essay he wrote where he was reading the 1st book and analyzed the “Not all those who wander are lost” poem and predicted that Aragorn would be king.

Aside: It is so cool to watch progeny come to love the same books you loved.

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With my own children I was meticulous about reading books first as I did filter what they read when they were young. I was absolutely traumatized as a young girl by the book Beautiful Joe. It was a Christmas gift sent to me by an Aunt – it looked innocent enough with a picture of a dog on the cover, but it was a detailed account of animal abuse pure and simple. I don’t think she knew that when she chose it and it did have a happy ending. To this day if I meet a person with the last name of “Jenkins” (the name of the man in the book) I have to stop myself from immediately disliking them.

I also remember my parents having to talk to my teacher because I could not finish the book Where the Red Fern Grows. Again, it was about dogs and hunting. I had nightmares from that book. So perhaps it is individual to the temperament of each child. I was sensitive to that sort of thing and just did not want to impose it on my own children when they were very young. Those books are lasting memories for me and they aren’t good ones.

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It’s important for each of us to know ourselves and our loved ones. When our kids are young, it is kind to warn them about things they may find upsetting, just so they can decide. Our kids were precocious readers and mostly printed violence was fine for D but tough for S until he was a teen. They were and are very different kids. :)>-

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Now that this discussion has left the gifted theme for the moment and has ventured into reading, I have something to add. :slight_smile: All I can say is I am amazed and impressed too that so many of you were able to keep your kids from reading inappropriate fiction. Ok, maybe at age 5, you still have some control. But seriously, didn’t your voracious readers sneak books from your night tables and book shelves or am I the only parent here with an unscrupulous kid who would stop at nothing to feed the reading addiction? Didn’t you have to police them reading with a flashlight under the covers?

Believe me, Little Women was the least of my issues.

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Well, yes and no, 3girls3cats–the tie-in between giftedness and the reading discussion is that very gifted students are more likely than others to have their reading capabilities and their personal life experiences wildly out of sync.

(It goes without saying that there are some very gifted children who are not early readers, as well as those who are.)

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My kids weren’t reading addicts, but I was. I would read everything from cereal boxes to the car’s owners’ manual. When I was nine and my mother was worried that I hadn’t yet asked questions about sex, she deliberately left books with sexual content lying around the house, in the hope that I would read them, come to her, and say “What the heck are they talking about?”

I did read the books, and I was puzzled by certain sections, but I didn’t ask any questions. Finally, she caved in and initiated the sex talk herself.

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Grimm’s Fairy tales are pretty bad. My D refused to read them after a few paragraphs. It’s not just the violence. Sometimes, the story is too heavy. I wished I stop my D from reading Out of the Dust by Karen Hesse when she was in the 2nd grade.

@doschicos That’s exactly how my D felt. She never warmed up to Pipi.

In Charlotte’s web, it’s not death that’s objectionable for some kids. It’s the act of killing that’s scary.

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I get that there can be a connection between giftedness and early reading QuantMech. But not all early readers are gifted and this discussion seems to have moved from a focus on giftedness and into one of whether early readers, (1) can understand literature that’s aimed at adults, and (2) even if they can understand aspects of that literature, can they tolerate the often difficult themes in those books.

My point was simply that the choice was not mine. It happened far earlier than I expected that at least one of mine was reading fiction that was not in sync with her life experiences. The best I could do was supply her with frequent trips to the library and many, varied options in hopes of keeping her occupied with literature that was more age appropriate. In her case it was a losing proposition.

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It looks like a lot of parents have super smart kids. What do you think a successful genius should be doing in their adulthood?

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^ I want my kid to be happy and healthy, same as any other parent. His definition of what makes him happy may be different than for others, I suppose.

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@3girls3cats Well, one thing I did beyond supplying him with books was to talk with teachers for the next elementary grade each year. Our school allowed us to make requests as to “teaching style” (not specific names). We could also talk with the current year’s teacher, who worked with the other teachers at a grade level to place students for the next year.

I recall one 1st grade teacher who, when asked what she did with proficient readers, said “Well, you know, they don’t understand what they are reading at this age.” We were lucky to be able to avoid that teacher for DS. The other 1st grade teacher was new, and admitted to me that she didn’t yet have higher grade-level books in her own class library. I was happy to help stock her library with books that would work for DS and some for the whole class (unbeknownst to him that the special basket of harder books for him came from me).

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I also have been happy watching my kids choose paths that work for them. They are still evolving and I enjoy hearing what their lives away from us include.

S realized he had to pay student fees in college but each student group could apply for grants and get awarded $$$ for activities. He and buddies formed a rock climbing club and got grants for supplies. It was a win/win–they learned about geology, rock climbing and grant writing, plus got back the student fees and more.

I don’t think folks necessarily expect their gifted/very bright offspring to win Nobel prizes or anything in particular, but we do hope they will be happy and productive members of society.

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My mom read a lot of bodice-rippers. She managed to keep them hidden away in their bedroom til we went on a three-week camping trip and she brought some along for the ride. I was eleven and had already read everything I brought. I was sneaking her books into the rear-facing seat of the station wagon and she figured it out. She expressed disapproval, but didn’t hide the books.

I read Through the Looking Glass in kindergarten. Didn’t get it then, didn’t get it later, either. I jumped into history, biographies and geography books in early elem school, which was a good way to get the intellectual stimulation without the emotional disconnect. We read The Yearling in fourth grade and it affected me for years.

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The Martin Gardner annotated version of the two Alice in Wonderland books is the best. I was on a big Martin Gardner kick in high school.

Too many books about dogs and horses end badly. After several of those, I refused to read them without being assured of a happy ending. DS at least sees it coming and prepares himself. I used to be surprised for some reason.

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Sometimes you need that sad book or movie for a crying jag. It’s cathartic.

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Personally, I’m not a fan of sad books or movies and never have been. I also don’t do crying jags–it makes for chest congestion so no thanks. I will tolerate some sad bits if they are part of the story, but am not a Dan of VERY sad things.

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Gently stroking a hairless cat as they sit in an armchair in their volcanic island hideaway?

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At his first grade parent teacher conference S2’s teacher was very concerned as she showed me his “goal sheet”. For First semester he had “read three books that the teacher likes” for the year he had “better handwriting” and for life goal? He had written “total world domination.” So yes dfbdfb, I do think he should be “Gently stroking a hairless cat as they sit in an armchair in their volcanic island hideaway?”
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