I’d just like to echo a few things.
Your teen likely wants sone sort of positive connection with you. As you interact with her, I’d focus on connecting in any way you can.
I’m not a professional, but I’m almost hearing you describe social anxiety? Especially the lifelong difficulty with talking with adults? This could make therapy extra scary. A few thoughts:
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Edited to add: based on feedback below, do not do this one: {I wonder if Better Help, or whatever it’s called, where therapy is by text, would be a more comfortable way to start.}
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You could tell her that looking back, you didn’t like that first therapist either. Validate for her that it wasn’t a good experience. Maybe tell her “we need to try again, but if you don’t like the next one after three sessions, we can switch again.” You know how many therapists we ran through before we found a winner? Six. SIX. Ugh, heaven help me, we ran through a lot of them.
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It is ok to screen the therapist with an initial parent session or with a phone call asking a few questions. You can explain your daughter’s previous bad experience and her reluctance to speak with strangers/adults. The right therapist will spend a lot of time building rapport. Like maybe 4 weeks, 6 weeks, more. I don’t think starting with psychological testing is going to kick off the relationship the right way.