<p>BFloGal- I would not have supported a gap year living at home and working. It would have been a waste. I wanted him to do a semester travel program through Where there be Dragons.
My other concern about the CC route was having the grades to transfer. My S ended up with a decent HS GPA but had above average test scores. I felt he needed the test scores to be seen in order to get into college.
My son is also frugal. His wants and needs are few. Like I said previously my son lives in the land of “it is all good”.</p>
<p>BfloGal - Every circumstance is different, but here is our story. S1 went through high school with a “slacker” attitude, poor time management skills, and slow reading skills. He got the occasional A, but mostly B’s and C’s. But this boy is loaded with charm and dreams…BIG, BIG dreams. He was savvy enough to know that he would not gain acceptance to his top choices and it was very important to him to not attend a CC. Of his 5 best friends, one is at CC, one at a local Catholic university, one at a junior college playing baseball, and two playing in the juniors for hockey. The last 3 hoping to get picked up by a D1 school. </p>
<p>With the help of some wonderful CC parents, we were able to find a college that met my son’s criteria and he was able to meet the school’s academic criteria. He ended up at a Lutheran LAC. He loves it, is proud of it and is doing unbelievably well. (Dean’s List first semester!!!) We are proud of him, but the sense of pride/accomplishment that washed across his face when he got his final grades was priceless. There were a couple of factors that I believe helped him out. 1) by some miracle he was placed on a study intensive floor. 2)He sat in the front row at every class and became very comfortable talking to and emailing his professors outside of class 3) He really, really wants to have a successful career and 4) He was well aware that the threat of transferring to a CC was real. (For whatever reason he was very opposed to our local CC) </p>
<p>This is hard for me to admit, but my H and I really thought that we were embarking upon a $40,000 experiment and we fully expected our son to flunk out. After many stressful conversations (over many glasses of wine) we jointly decided to give our son the benefit of the doubt. He knew we were serious about pulling him out of school if his academic performance was dismal and I think he had a sense that we struggled with our decision to let him attend an expensive college. S1 left for college fully understanding that his future will be determined by HIS actions.</p>
<p>Yesterday I dropped him off at the airport to head back to school for J-term and then second semester. My tears still flowed, but this time they were purely out of love and not mixed with sadness or fear.</p>
<p>My son had zero interest in discussing colleges. Fortunately I had this website to rely on and after dragging him to a few colleges, I insisted he fill out a few applications (no essays) for rolling admission schools in the August before his senior year. He was accepted into 3 of 4 and never once thought about college until late spring his senior year and then not again until I started piling up dorm stuff in the corner of the dining room. </p>
<p>I don’t know when your son’s ACT/SAT is scheduled, but it might be a good idea for both of you to take a month or two break from all college discussion (including CC :p) This college stuff can be very stressful and very “consuming”. (my boys are just a year apart so I am going through it again this year…lucky me!)</p>
<p>BfloGal and mom60…Your S’s sound just like my S2. We were somewhat dubious about his being ready for a 4 yr. college but knew that staying here and going to CC w/ his slacker friends from h.s. might not be good either. He was a very avg. student in every way (gpa and test scores). He showed no interest in college in jr. yr. We let him know that the CC for a trade degree would be fine with us if that was what he wanted and would commit to completing or the military or trying college. We were ready to support whatever HE wanted to try. The prob. was he really didn’t know. His reply to every question about his future was “I don’t know”. </p>
<p>Interest picked up a little in fall of senior yr. Applied to two directional state u’s and got accepted. After that, he never considered any other option. He did take two dual enrollment classes at the CC …one an academic class and one a trade class. Gave him a taste of both worlds. </p>
<p>Off he went to college and failed miserably that first sem. He liked the sch. and really wanted to go back. We gave him another chance and his has done fine since then…not Dean’s list but we really didn’t expect that out of this kid anyhow. He’s now a junior and we are reasonably sure he will graduate in four years. A little worried about what he’ll do after graduation but hopefully he’ll find something. I’m trying not to fret too much in advance.</p>
<p>The structure of college has been good for him. Living away from our town has been good. He has matured and is a better student than he was in h.s. All in all we are glad that we sent him to college and gave him a second chance when he screwed it up.
It’s been nice to see him succeed and be proud of himself after the first awful sem. This semester he brought home his highest gpa so far…yippee.</p>
<p>Wow Packmom, great story. Your S sounds EXACTLY like mine. My S is a very avg student in every way too, so it’s nice to see that yours was successful!</p>
<p>Our dilemma is that, while jr college is certainly an option, a CSU (we live in CA) would be ideal, as several of them have music management programs (his interest). It would be advantageous for him to get in “on the ground floor”, but the reality is he will be applying in 2011, not 1981, when probably anyone with a pulse could get into a CSU – not to be disrespectful, but it’s gotten so hyper-competitive just to get into a state school out here. And UCs aren’t even on the radar for this kid. </p>
<p>So S will have few safeties, maybe some matches, and a LOT of reaches. Not a comfortable balance!</p>