Well, goodness.
When I asked my question yesterday, I thought I would receive some quick factual answers about GPA. Never thought it would evolve into this kind of discussion.
However, I am grateful. All of your input has made me really think about my options and reconsider my future. I really appreciate the time you put in to give me advice. I felt a bit attacked at times (haha), however I know that you meant everything in the best way, and simply wanted to give me a “wake up call”, like one person put it.
@lonelymoonlight No, sorry. I do in fact live in the United States, and have grown up here. And yes, there were other reasons that I did not disclose, as I did not believe it was necessary to.
@Ibebikz What I wanted to avoid was giving too much information about my situation on this website. After all, like I said, I was only expecting succinct responses. But now that it has become a discussion on whether I should actually repeat or not, I will try to explain my standpoint with more detail (prepare yourselves for an essay )
To all of, I must stress that I did not come up with this on my own. I considered the idea after researching online, and witnessing a close family friend succeed after trying it.
@Grandbudapest Ah, I figured this misunderstanding would come up. If I went to some large public school [in a large city], then I would completely understand where you are coming from, and would chide myself for not appreciating the rank I have. I have gone to camps in cities where the students dream of being in the top 10%. And here I am, in the top 2%. How unappreciative I am of my ranking.
However, my “large public school” is not in a large city. It is more like a very large town, with a population between 60,000 and 70,000. Compared to many other public schools, it is not competitive whatsoever. Due to the vast majority of the students at my school coming from relatively poor backgrounds, our school’s ranking is pretty low. Those of us who are at the top are the only ones participating in the IB program.
And alas, colleges know this. This is why [only] the valedictorians of our school for the last two decades have gone on to elite, competitive universities. The rest proceed to state schools (which isn’t a bad option, truly, but also does not suit my expectations or goals). Therefore, my ranking of 8 is not at all outstanding.
If it was simply due to the 91 grade average I will most likely make in Calculus this year, my parents would not even consider my repeating of junior year. After all, that’s thousands and thousands of dollars put in to raising a grade several points. Although my parents do indeed have the resources to pay for a year at private school, it would be ridiculous to consider the attempt and I understand where many of you are coming from. @Lindagaf, @TomSrOfBoston, I promise that neither I nor my parents are that obsessive over my grades.
Due to certain family situations and a case of unidentified severe ADD, my grades were not even close to what I could accomplish. I developed several disorders my sophomore year (eating, anxiety, perfectionism, depression, you name it), due to the unhealthy expectations I held for myself. The worst my grades became, the more I became disappointed with myself. The larger the workload, the more I felt overwhelmed and the slower I finished it. It was an endless cycle of disappointment and feeling that I “wasn’t good enough”.
My freshman year, I was #1. Dropping down in rank was a huge blow to my self-esteem, and I began to believe that I had to give up on my dreams of an Ivy League education. I am an Asian female, wanting to pursue Engineering. In my eyes, finding out that I wasn’t in the top three was like an early rejection. Let me repeat that my school [is not competitive].
After several months of counseling lessons, and finally treating my ADD, my grades have recently dramatically improved and I finally got out of the harmful cycle. My organization skills and time management skills have greatly improved, for which I am very grateful. Finally, I am back to my old self.
However, by that time, it was already nearing the end of my junior year, which is indeed the most important. I felt immense regret about how I handled the past two years, and how merely mediocre my grades were. Sure, they were all low As, but were they [really] competitive enough to be considered as a competitive applicant?
@Soapymango @Lindagaf Yes, I said nothing about wanting to take more competitive classes, however that was part of my plan. This year I have taken AP Calc, Biology SL, and the other natural progression of classes IB students are expected to take, such as Regional Studies. I would take the [next] level of Calculus, take the next level of Biology (Biology SL isn’t good enough to take the AP test), and take AP Physics (it is absolutely awful at my current school). I would take a different history class (as it is not an IB school), and would take a different AP English test than this year.
I did not plan to simply repeat the courses I took this year in order to get “the very best grades possible”. I wanted a way to prove to universities my true abilities, and also wanted a chance to take courses I wouldn’t be able to take if I didn’t repeat (such as IB math HL, AP Chemistry, IB Physics HL). I do want to use the opportunity to challenge myself, instead of use it solely to get into a good university.