<p>Andi,
It seems that you are confident a letter is coming tomorrow… not sure of the content… how do you know a letter is coming? I saw one post that mentioned a phone call… but, not a post that described or provided detail on a phone call… is there a thread that I have missed? Has Swarthmore confirmed they will let kids know one way or another? or have they confirmed that they will be keeping a few kids on longer? what is the scoop on that? I actually am visiting CC these days just to see what happens for your son… and the occasional update on the drive to Alaska for one child…and any other good news that shows up periodically… fingers crossed…</p>
<p>maineparent you may have missed it because there are two threads on this now. And the way things are going I wouldn’t be surprised if they got moved to the cafe. Anyway, several weeks ago andison got a letter saying that he would get some sort of update by the 15th. Since he didn’t get one by yesterday, he phoned. After being told that the two adcoms he would like to have spoken to were not available, he was told that letters had been sent out that morning. I suspect it will arrive tomorrow and I suspect it won’t be good- as I’m sure that “good” would have been told him when he called. I suspect he’ll be “lucky” if they’re even keeping him on the list.
That’s why I’m thinking maybe drastic measures are in store:)</p>
<p>andi -if you feel like it, let us know what “drastic measures” you’re thinking of 
I mean, Did andison decide to only wait for Swarthmore for next year, and if no go there (hoping, thinking, praying and sending vibes for a go) to do a gap year? Or did he take a look at any other schools from the nacac list or whatever who might have had openings for the wonderful asset he will be to the right school?</p>
<p>Yup, I believe it’s either Swat or Gap U. (one other school a distant and doubtful possibility) When he gets the final dear John letter from Swat we’ll get him a GAP U. sweatshirt.</p>
<p>This is excruciating for me–can’t imagine how it is for you and andison. I am sending lots of positive thoughts your way and Swat’s. I think I would have lost it on that phone call–“Just tell me!” I have a feeling that even if it is GAP U, andison will do great things.</p>
<p>Andi,
hang in there…don’t project what will happen if you can help it… that is always the worst… here are a few of my mantras when in your situation:
it is always darkest just before dawn …
the only thing in life we can control is our attitude…
things definitely happen for a reason…
trust in a higher power…
let go and let god…</p>
<p>my girlfriend’s worst nite was the nite before the final decision on custody of the kids in an ugly divorce… what if, what if was all she could think about… she was so afraid her best parenting wasn’t good enough, wasn’t evident to the judge etc… it was and she won custody and all of that…but the nite before was VERY bleak…so, hang in there…there is a plan for andison!!! and andifamily!! sometimes we have to get “hit upside the head with a baseball bat” to see the real direction we need to go in…you know all this…just know that in one year you will be stunned at how all consuming this time is… it definitely gets better regardless of outcome.</p>
<p>Andi, do you have any idea how many people you have rooting for you, thinking of you, praying for you…its not just those that post, I’m sure, but many, many, many others who are sincerely hoping with all their hearts for a positive outcome. I think I speak not just for myself when I say that the empathy concern, and sense of involvement that you, a “stranger” (tho it doesn’t feel that way) , have generated goes beyond what is often elicited by people known personally. Our thoughts are truly with you.</p>
<p>Andi - It’s great to see you still have your sense of humor. I hope you post a separate thread for whatever the news is so we don’t have to hunt for it. I have to say that your S’s story is still one that’s hard to believe.</p>
<p>I also totally understand that he’s going for either Swat or Gap U. A student with his abilities should go to a school that is a suitable match for him. Just because he ran into some very bad luck this year, doesn’t mean he shouldn’t hold out for a school that will be a good match. I admire you for supporting his decision. Some of us may have been tempted to send him off to Outatheway U. I don’t know if I could tolerate having my kid home for a GAP year.</p>
<p>Andi, It must be unbearably stressful. You want it to be over, but you don’t want it to be OVER!
I think that colleges need to take a more humanistic approach to waitlist purgatory. I understand that the colleges don’t want to give applicants a priority number and their needs are in flux, but they could at least give waiters a clearer indication of situation hopeful or hopeless.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>momrath you’ve got that just right!</p>
<p>Thanks so much to ALL of you for your outpouring of support. Today we found out that the list is officially closed 
Sad news but at least now we can move on. We’ve learned so much from the posters here and will approach next year’s applications all the wiser for your help. I wish all of you with kids entering into the class of '09 a wonderful year and to those of you with kids beginning the class of '10 applications, I guess I’m officially part of the gang:)
THANKS AGAIN!!!</p>
<p>luv andi xxoo</p>
<p>Oh, Andi, I’m so sorry. I won’t offer any platitudes, just the hope that your son has a really wonderful gap year, full of growth, adventure, and enjoyment. Next year’s results WILL be different for him. I have no doubt about that.</p>
<p>Andi - I trust that Andison will be OK, and that in the long run this will have been something he points to as valuable in his life but I sure hope right now in the short term he can get to feeling OK sooner rather than later. </p>
<p>Life has a random component - we all bump up against it at one time or another. For your son it just happened at a visible moment. If he were 45 he would love a forced moment of time out - right? </p>
<p>All the skills you have learned as a mom now come so much into play. How to give them a true picture, but one they are ready for. How to let them have feelings and help them move on. How to set up the opportunities and then let him capitalize on them. You will do great. He will be fine. </p>
<p>I wish emotional fortitude were a conveyable commodity, I would send you some. You seem to have it in plenty, but if you ever feel you are running out, come over to Sinner’s Alley on the cafe and have a drink with us.</p>
<p>And if planning the gap year gets to be something you both start to enjoy, share! Since staring at the Swat site with hope didn’t help at least we can offer information about all the things he might want to do - I mean, we span the globe and the career spectrum here, right?</p>
<p>All my best wishes. Give him a cyber-hug for me.</p>
<p>Andi, you know that some things are meant to be, and life has a way taking you directions and giving you outcomes that you never expected - sadly, he is learning that lesson. But I have faith thatnext year will be different, and that someday he will see this as a great opportunity (which it is) rather than any sort of letdown. On to next year.</p>
<p>Andi, very very sorry to hear the news. Andison is certainly a “keeper” and I have no doubt that next year a college will count itself very lucky to have him accept their offer.</p>
<p>I really think the hoping is worse than the coping.</p>
<p>All that waiting and wondering and praying and second guessing is behind you. Now it is on to a great gap year - one of fun and one of growth!</p>
<p>Oh yes, the hoping is always much worse than the coping! </p>
<p>Hooray for gap years, and hooray for being a bit more mature than most freshmen when he enters college.</p>
<p>Andi, I am very sorry for your son’s disappointment. He is a deserving and capable student whose luck did not go his way. I had hoped that any help I sent your way and all the support and advice given here would have turned the tides but it was not his turn this time. But, as difficult as this has got to be and what a weird twist of fate for such a good student, I am convinced that he will overcome this obstacle and come out even better for it. While not the same, my child had a big setback this year of a different sort, and no mom ever wants to see their child suffer but in the end, there is triumph. Your son is going to triumph. He is going to turn this setback into something great. A gap year can be an amazing experience and I can’t wait to hear what he has planned. I am sure his college process will go better next year as we all learn through experience and might approach it differently. It will be all that much sweeter when he gets to college. He is going to grow from this. You’ll see. It is going to turn out great. It might suck for now but there are wonderful things to come in his near future. </p>
<p>All the best,
Susan</p>
<p>Dear Andi:
Thanks for giving us this news, even though it is the opposite of what we hoped for today. I am sure you have received tons of advice, and we thank you for allowing us to root for your son’s best outcome, and for your very gracious interactions with parents on this board. Hoping to get some updates from you over the summer…and keeping your son’s well-being foremost in our visions of the year ahead.</p>
<p>Andi - Three talented students from our hs are doing gap years for 2005-06 and, truly, they are very excited. Two are athletic-related, one is returning to Ecuador to build on what she started by spending jr. year in Spain and her Senior Transition Project in Quito. It sounds very exciting and I am putting all my energy into wishing andison an engaging, pleasurable, growth-filled gap year. We will enjoy following his plans, both for the gap and for the college selection process for 2006. Godspeed.</p>