<p>Contests schmontests. Don’t give that too much credit. </p>
<p>What do you think you MIGHT want to do? Do you want to go on to college? Is that in your plans? Yes? No? Then some sort of work? Then there are are other interests and activities…? What is the first small step you need to take? If nothing interests you enough to take a first small, step, I think you should definitely get further professional help. Many of us have been there…no need to stay there any longer than necessary.</p>
<p>^ I want to stay in college. I was planning having a career based on copywriting, journalism, or freelancing. I’m already active in my school paper. My therapist said that I was upset because the semester is over and I would have nothing to do. School helped me escape my problems in a sense, it’s like an unrecognized blessing.</p>
<p>It isn’t surprising that being home with your family, away from your school routine and activities is making you feel more depressed. Try to recognize this, and also know that the holidays are often a time when people feel depressed, not just you. While at home, although it may be impossible to do, try not to compare yourself to your sister and your mother. It isn’t productive in any way. Rather, during this break from school, as other posters have suggested, focus on what you enjoy, reading, writing and on your job. And continue to post here. We want to know how you are managing.</p>
<p>Why don’t you work on a long run writing project when you have spare time? That’ll probably keep you active as well as giving you something to work towards.</p>
<p>Here is something I just read and I thought of you. We could all benefit from reading this everyday. I know as a young person, only some of it might sound relevant or resonate…but as an older person, I think it’s all very true. I put a star beside the ones I thought you could use the most :)</p>
<p>45 Life Lessons by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, ClevelandShare
Wednesday, June 3, 2009 at 8:41am | Edit Note | Delete
“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written.” My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once
more:</p>
<p>*1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>When in doubt, just take the next small step.</p></li>
<li><p>Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.</p></li>
<li><p>Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
parents will. Stay in touch.</p></li>
<li><p>Pay off your credit cards every month.</p></li>
<li><p>You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>*7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.</p>
<p>*8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.</p></li>
<li><p>When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>*11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.</p>
<ol>
<li>It’s OK to let your children see you cry.</li>
</ol>
<p>*13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.</p></li>
<li><p>Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God
never blinks.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>*16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.</p>
<ol>
<li>Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.</li>
</ol>
<p>*18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.</p>
<p>*19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is
up to you and no one else.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no
for an answer.</p></li>
<li><p>Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.</p></li>
<li><p>Over prepare, then go with the flow.</p></li>
<li><p>Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.</p></li>
<li><p>The most important sex organ is the brain.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>*25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.</p>
<p>*26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will
this matter?’</p>
<p>*27. Always choose life.</p>
<p>*28. Forgive everyone everything.</p>
<p>*29. What other people think of you is none of your business.</p>
<p>*30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.</p>
<p>*31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.</p></li>
<li><p>Believe in miracles.</p></li>
<li><p>God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did
or didn’t do.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>*35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.</p></li>
<li><p>Your children get only one childhood.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>*38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.</p>
<p>*39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.</p>
<p>*40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s,we’d
grab ours back.</p>
<p>*41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.</p>
<p>*42. The best is yet to come.</p>
<p>*43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.</p>
<ol>
<li>Yield.</li>
</ol>
<p>***45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.</p>
<p>Starbright, how very thoughtful to take the time to post that wonderful list. thank you.
:)</p>
<p>I don’t have any specific advice to give, but just wanted to say that your posts touched me. I hope all goes well with you this holiday season, and that your life becomes all you wish it to be.</p>
<p>I especially like #42 on the list. We don’t get to chose our families, but after HS, we can pick our friends.</p>
<p>I wish I could print this list</p>
<p>So many people go through periods of feeling alone or worthless or confused or helpless. Those same people also will experience joy and love and confidence and satisfaction, so you need to realize that each state is temporary. Everyone has a unique pattern in life, and you happen to be in a very sad place right now. It is good you are working with mental health professionals who can guide you with your specific concerns. As an adult, I can look back at many different points of my life and realize that at the time, it was hard to imagine things could get any better. But there are always opportunities to make your life better.</p>
<p>You seem to connect with writing and reading. Good! First of all, when you are on breaks from school, is there a book club or reading group you could join, maybe through a local library or bookstore? It might expose you to many people outside of classes who share your interests. </p>
<p>Also, use your writing to express your feelings. Transform your feelings into characters, plots, twists, turns, and wrap them up with a conclusion that works well for the story, which might make you feel a sense of control rather than waiting to see what will happen in your life. Stories often have conflict or difficult situations, so don’t be afraid of the obstacles in the story. Make things happen for your characters so that they can overcome their obstacles.</p>
<p>Try different genres. Write a short screenplay. A poem. An article. A stage play. An essay. Start a humorous blog about an interest of yours - cooking mishaps, life in your town, whatever. Look for ways to connect with others who have your interests - go to poetry readings, join a theater group, intern at a local newspaper or tv station or get a part time job in a bookstore.</p>
<p>Find a mentor - perhaps a local writer whose work you admire - and find out how they began their career and what steps they suggest for you to reach your goals.</p>
<p>If you are able to volunteer, such as at a home for elderly, offer to write stories or memoirs of some people you meet. Or interview them on tape for their families and write about your experiences meeting people and documenting their lives. There are many ways you can combine the things you enjoy and your goals in life with something that helps others.</p>
<p>Regardless of what exact steps you take, just remember that life is filled with many possibilities. Now that you are old enough to separate from your family, do not compare yourself to them - find your own path and lead the life that is right for you.</p>
<p>TA, I think I posted to you before when you were feeling this way, but I apologize if I am mistaken.</p>
<p>One thing I noticed from your posts on this thread is that you spend a lot of time comparing yourself to others and find ways that you are inferior. Perhaps you were raised with these defeatist messages, but maybe the best way to turn that around is to notice when your mind starts that bad refrain and just – make it stop. I realize that sounds easier than it is. One of the fascinating parts of Sylvia Nasar’s book “A Beautiful Mind” (book much better than movie!) is when John Nash talks about how he was able to control his schizophrenia and the voices talking to him. He says he went on a “mental diet” and just shut that down as soon as it started. It was very hard work, but it went a long way to helping him on the healing path.</p>
<p>Why do I think you learned the brutal messages from your parents, who are not the nicest people in the world? So what then – are you going to let them win? If you let yourself fail, or worse, what, you are saying they are right? Personally, I think you need to get away from them, to “detox” your brain. It will take years living apart from them, but you will begin to see. I had to do this, and even now, limited time with my relatives is the healthiest policy for me.</p>
<p>Seconding AnudduhMom… I really hope you can get to a place where you can see how great you are, without comparing yourself to others. From what it sounds like, in order to quiet the “not good enough” thoughts in your head, you’re going to have to get away from the “not good enough” naysayers in your real life… Start seeing the mean things that they say as being poison for your soul. What they say isn’t the truth.</p>
<p>You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you.</p>
<p>I recently read a book of which one line has become notable:</p>
<p>“That which you manifest is before you”</p>
<p>Please think about what it might mean to you.</p>
<p>TA3021, please know that my heart breaks for you. I’m so sorry to hear of your feelings.</p>
<p>You clearly demonstrate your writing skills just by the posts you’ve written on this thread; they are top-notch. One thing I urge you to do is to forget about those subjective writing competitions. The criteria is often biased and the winning essay(s) are often judged with considerable latitude with respect to the rubrics. I know this for fact, because I have read the winning essays of some contests and have seen that, on many occasions, they lack real substance. I am flabbergasted at some of the winning essays. An example would be the 2006 winning essay from the Ayn Rand Institute’s “Anthem” contest. (Read it here if you care: [The</a> Ayn Rand Institute: 2006 Anthem Essay Contest Winner](<a href=“http://www.aynrand.org/site/PageServer?pagename=education_contests_anthem_winner_2006]The”>http://www.aynrand.org/site/PageServer?pagename=education_contests_anthem_winner_2006)) It wasn’t that great at all. </p>
<p>Anyway, I sincerely wish that you be uplifted and that you can find a peaceful state of mind. There are people who care about you.</p>
<p>I loved the list that was shown to me. It lifted off the burden I was feeling on the inside.
I am grateful for everything I’ve read, such as the extensive advice about how to incorporate reading and writing into my life and yes that Anthem essay is rather stale and unimpressive. Thank everyone so much. I wish I could elaborate more, but I’m kind of tired now.</p>
<p>Here is what I do when I go through times of gloom and unmotivation:</p>
<p>-make a gratitude list (there is just too much to be thankful for, and I remind myself that I shouldn’t be complaining. I eat food everyday etc. etc)</p>
<p>human gratituity is the greatest emotion ever. learn to embrace it and through all times it will keep you going.</p>
<p>-use Microsoft OneNote to keep a journal and secure it with a password so you can literally write anything and no one will ever see it. Get the troubles off your chest in the form of free-writing althought I prefer poems or short stories because free-writing gets too unorganized for me. </p>
<p>-pray and meditate. i dont know what your background is, but realizing that there is something greater than you will let you accept whatever it is bothering u.</p>
<p>-realize that life is short, literally time will fly and we will be holding our grandkids.
-looks are not important, work on building character.</p>
<p>-try to keep yourself engaged and lighten up with ur parents. Your parents are much better than others are. Be grateful you werent raised an orphan. If you cant lighten up, try to let them see who YOU are.</p>
<p>-if you dont like the way you are, sometimes PRETENDING, yes i said it,pretending to be who you want to be can actually make u a new person. Ive tried it, and it took long, but i have developed much more self-confident.</p>
<p>people will say accept that ur an introvert. but if u dont want to be an introvert, just go and start approaching people and making friends and connections. </p>
<p>most importantly, try to keep a pure heart and instead of letting yourself down, spread the love. This is the age of transition, of sacrifice. Learn it. embrace it. and aspire to make the future better.</p>
<p>Being an introvert does not mean that an individual cannot enjoy the company of others. It just means that the individual needs some alone time to recharge. </p>
<p>I am an introvert; many who know me would think that is a completely false statement. It is not that I am faking. I have learned to really enjoy and benefit from social interaction. It’s just that social interactions take energy and I get my energy from alone time. Social skills can be learned. Then, social interactions can be enjoyed.</p>