<p>One question I like to ask of teens who feel this way and/or their parents is what did you want to be when you were seven? When you were a little kid what made you happy? Think about it because you might find a clue as to where to look for things that will excite you.</p>
<p>Take some time off. At least a gap year. I took off two years between high school and college and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.</p>
<p>I like the posts by compmom. You need to get away from your dad. You need to find joy in your life. You are not spoiled and you should not feel guilty. </p>
<p>The scholarship at Alabama can give you the chance to figure things out without financial stress. </p>
<p>I think you should apply for nursing, you can always switch if it’s not for you. It’s hard to switch in because it’s a professional degree. </p>
<p>Then in the meantime, try to figure out what kind of career would bring you joy. </p>
<p>While I think you need time to find yourself, it’s hard to find yourself if you don’t look. </p>
<p>Also talk to a mental health professional about depression. People are putting a lot of pressure on you and you need support in handling it.</p>
<p>great message Zekebgood. I think you need a break. Take some time off to figure what you want to do. Can you defer your admission for a year?</p>
<p>Penelope111- I am sorry about so many judgmental responses you have received. Many seniors feel burned out and are very uncertain about their career path- or their path is at odds with what their parents want for them. Have you spoken to your guidance counselor to explore other options- a gap year could be a fantastic experience. Most universities will grant a one year (sometimes two year) deferral- see if that’s possible. That way, you could catch your breath, work/travel/volunteer in a great gap year program which would also look wonderful on your graduate school apps later on. And, it will give you some time to consider what career path you are interested. In reading your post, it sounds whether you might be happier in a smaller liberal arts college without all the football hoopla, or possibly a more urban school ,without the football and Greek life. There are over 1500 colleges and universities. I understand you got a full ride- but given that, it sounds like you might be offered excellent financial aid at other schools where you would find a better “fit” and the vibe would be better for you. How did you already find out about your acceptance and financial aid? Did you graduate last year? It sounds like the issue may not be heading to college in the fall as much as it is WHERE you go. While your assessment of large state schools has some validity, the size also means there are many avenues to meet like-minded people. Try visiting some other schools with your parents- maybe you guys can find something new that everyone can be satisfied with. This is a major part of your life and yes, a college degree is nearly essential these days. But, where you go and what you study needs to be the right fit for who YOU are- not your parents. Wishing you the best!</p>
<p>Penelope,
It sounds like you really need someone to talk to. While it’s quite an achievement that you got a great package from the school, it also sounds like your dad is calling the shots and you are not happy. You are feeling both pressured and stressed and that is not healthy. I assume you can’t talk to your parents about how you feel or they don’t consider your very real concerns. Make an appointment with a school counselor, advisor or senior faculty member at your HS and explain how you feel. Perhaps they can facilitate a meeting with your parents where you can talk through your concerns. Nobody should be pressured to get all A’s - that is the Race To Nowhere- a movie I would suggest you rent and watch with your parents. A gap year might be the best thing for you. A guidance counselor may advise you as to whether or not you can defer you admission and aid package for one year. Gap programs can be structured and may offer exactly the break you need to find your passion and experience some independence from your parents. This is your life not theirs. I would also suggest that you talk to the admissions people at your state school. Find out where a person like you fits in. Ask if they can match you to the right housing and roommate. Perhaps a visiting day on campus might allay your fears. You might find a mentor and friend in an upperclassman and that can make all the difference. It’s good that you are reaching out here even though many posters are not hearing what you are saying. Remember, this is a place for high octane college seekers so you may not find sympathetic ears. Going to college is not the right choice for everyone and going with this level of confusion, sadness and doubt is certainly not good. Find a compassionate and knowledgeable professional at your school who will listen and help you chart the course that is best for you. You need to take some ownership of this process even if it means taking a year off. Good luck and be true to yourself.</p>
<p>Your post screams GAP YEAR. Take a gap year and figure out what you are going to do with your life. Nothing else to it.</p>
<p>The American system fails at putting kids of career paths, so don’t worry because its not entirely your fault. The German system is much better (I’m not German).</p>
<p>Trollolololololol</p>
<p>The decision to attend college or not is usually dependent on whether you have a plan B in life. College education is usually a plan A for many people…</p>
<p>College is important, think again.</p>
<p>If you feel that a gap year will help you figure out what you want to do consider doing a post-graduate year at a prep school. You can use the time to explore more subjects. I attend a New England prep school and know people who are at my school for a post grad year. They are using the time to get ready for college and figure out what they want to do. Just consider the idea.</p>
<p>Hi Penelope: I agree with the few people here who suggest you take a gap year. Taking time off is very helpful. One of the big problems with high schools now is that a person has little time to do anything but study. I don’t blame you for not wanting to just go study for another four years in a seemingly aimless way. I think that you should 1) find out if you can defer your wonderful opportunity and 2) find a good job. The US government has internships. You can google us government internships and you will find a database. Some even pay. The SCA has internships. Google student conservation association to find internships. They are amazing opportunities. I suggest that you acquire an internship and then with your most adult voice approach your family with a plan. Explain to them, reassure them, that you share their goals. Tell them that first. “I share your goals in attending college.” Explain to them what you found out about the deferment policies at your college. Then tell them about an internship. The SCA offers some supervised positions. There may be other organizations offering this sort of experience. Starting college immediately is not for everyone. Most people if they take time to work before college find that they have some real-life experience to focus their studies on. You will have a better idea of what you enjoy. Then you willhave two years of college before you must decide a major. You will be fine. You have many talents and opportunities. Best of luck.</p>
<p>Can you defer your scholarship for a year?</p>
<p>I am maybe going to give you different advice
I am an immigrant and had same rules growing up
I went to a local junior college. It was AWESOME. I had full rides could have literally studied anywhere
I was also not into the “scene” . I went to the 2 year got all my general education stuff out of the way and explored some majors in smaller classes and was inspired by some of the faculty. When I went to engineering school I was better prepared than the kids who went there all four years because of the Smaller class sizes and more personal attention. I graduated from the university with a 3.9 gpa and I graduated
Ageain with my MBA and went to work at a global
Company </p>
<p>I became a very successful partner at an internationally regarded company working shoulder to shoulder and being the boss of many ivy leaguers</p>
<p>I don’t know why we feel compelled to make kids to do the big school party thing. I know it isn’t everyone who does that but lets face it there is a lot of pressure to be that guy. I sent my son away and he came back 18 months later. HE WAS NOT READY. He is now doing better but will forever be digging himself out of the hole he dug. I also had classmates showing up at my community college 1 or two semesters after leaving for the big adventure. The only difference between them and me was my GPA was higher.</p>
<p>If you don’t feel ready you’re not. Get a part time job but stay in school at a 2 year. Your family should understand and if they do not show them my post. Committal them you WILL go to the 4 year after you’re done with the 2 year. It’s less glamorous and tough to explain to your friends but it might be the right thing for YOU</p>
<p>I know someone who was accepted to University of Alabama. She didn’t want to go to college AT ALL. Her parents forced her to go, and she cried the whole plane ride there.
One year later and she LOVES it there! She’s made so many friends and is finding interest in a few subjects.
Give college a chance, ESPECIALLY since you got a full ride scholarship.</p>
<p>Listen, I really understand how you feel and what you’re going through. High school wasn’t easy for me either, and I’ve had to do a lot of growing up on my own. This stage of your life is filled with uncertainties and doubts–I get that, really, I do. You’ve heard a ton of advice about college and stuff, but I just want to remind you that you’re never alone in whatever struggles you feel you have. I know I’m a complete stranger, but I’m also a human being that experiences stuff every day. It just sounds like you need a friend to talk to, and even though I’m a stranger, I just want to let you know that I am always available to talk.</p>
<p>I can understand if you don’t trust me or this thread, but just take my advice to heart: don’t give up, talk to people, and find something you want or a dream you have. Good luck. Hope everything works out for the best.</p>
<p>Sincerely,
Yash</p>
<p>All of my teachers last year went back to school to get a higher degree. If you think its hard to go to college, if you regret it in the future, you have to work, pay rent if you live by yourself or with a friend, and work at your job. It sounds much more tiring than just going to college when your supposed to and having a job during your free time. Your lucky enough to get a full scholarship, so you should at least check out the school. If you really don’t like it, you can always drop out. But if you never go, you might regret it later. And how do you know that they only watch football and get drunk? Did you hear it from someone or did you see it?</p>