I found out my parents can't pay my college tuition

Parents Forum
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@mv1206

I am so sorry that your parents have pulled the rug out from under you. And have openly expressed their lack of belief in your abilities.

This is a terrible thing to have happen–and right before graduation. It probably feels like a body blow.

I really don’t see any way that you can afford to attend NYIT. Your parents can’t afford it/won’t pay. You can’t earn or borrow enough money to attend.

I will second the community college route if you really want to be a physician. It’s not what you wanted and it’s not an optimal outcome. But it’s the end goal that you need to keep in your sights. Community college–>4 year public U can get you to the point of being competitive applicant for med school. (No guarantees, of course, but there were no guarantees with NYIT either.)

I would talk with your school counselor to see they have any ideas of where you might be able to find additional funding sources for college. I would also make an appointment with your local CC and ask an enrollment counselor about articulation agreements that the CC might have with local colleges. An articulation agreement means that a college guarantees to accept your CC credits as equivalent to their own coursework and won’t require you to retake classes.

Take as many GE classes as you can, including psychology & sociology and any math classes like Calc 1 and stats. Try to save your sciences for your 4 year college. If you plan on being a bio major in college, you can take intro bio and gen chem at your CC since you will taking higher level coursework in both bio and chem at your 4 year college.

I would avoid pharmacy. There is a glut of pharmacy grads right now and jobs can be difficult to find.

Nursing is an option, but it sounds like this is not what you want. If it isn’t, then I’d pass on nursing school too.

Good luck, mv1206. I wish you the best. Come back iand let us know what you decided and how things are working out for you.

.

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I’m so sorry this has happened to you. One option I saw someone mention above was to take a gap year and reapply to places that are affordable. A related but slightly different suggetion…can you contact NYIT and see if you can defer admission for a year. Spend the next year working and saving as much as you can. If you are living at home you may be able to save a year’s tuition (or more?), that may be enough of a bridge to help make the program affordable if you also work/take out federal loans and get some contribution from your parents.

I know it’s not ideal, just trying to put options out there and again I’m so sorry this has happened to you. Best wishes to you.

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In this case would your family qualify for NY TAP or Excelsior.

https://www.suny.edu/smarttrack/types-of-financial-aid/scholarships/excelsior/#

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Before you write off a gap year as simply a “break from academics,” at least give some thought to how you might spend it. If you enrolled in a CNA certification program, for example, you could then get paid work that would give you valuable experience in a clinical setting, and potentially give you more clarity on the various clinical roles you are considering, as well. EMT certification could be another possibility. Don’t underestimate the benefits of both saving up money for school, and acquiring real-world experience. Academic momentum is good, but so are maturity and perspective, and having the experience of working in an actual contributing role, in the sphere you hope to join, can pay off in more ways than just financially. Once upon a time, I worked as a CNA for a couple of years before starting PT school, and I can’t overstate how valuable the experience was.

It seemed on your previous thread as if the Hofstra pre-PA program was your most-preferred alternative to the NYIT BS-DO, but now you don’t mention it. Is that because it’s now equally unaffordable, or because you know it’s too late to claim a spot? If it’s the latter, is there any chance they might be willing to offer a deferral?

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Great suggestions!

Re an EMT course, my son did one on the recommendation of a friend. It was an incredibly useful experience. It often came up during job interviews. The course helped him realize he didn’t want to do anything related to that, even though he learned a lot. EMT courses are generally pretty affordable, depending on where completed. At the very least, it can lead to certification.

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I still encourage asking your parents what they can commit to, and seeing if you can come up with the difference between federal student loans, summer work, and semester-work. Of course, you need to be able to trust that your parents will contribute for all three years.

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I was very specific in saying CLEP for gen eds. Of course anyone headed for med school would never CLEP out of sciences, or any pre-req class!

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Most residencies and fellowships are at non-profit hospitals. Many physicians working in teaching hospitals are working directly for the non-profit hospital system or university, not for a private contracting physician group. One can also work for community health centers, Indian health services, and various other non-profits. Sure, one would have to specifically plan it this way, but the longer the residency, the shorter the years working afterwards for a non-profit.

I did not know that moonlighting for a non-profit would disqualify a person! That is a big issue. I also didn’t realize that the loan forgiveness would be considered taxable income. That could mean having to pay in taxes very likely 35% of the amount forgiven. That is a big issue.

Yet another reason to choose the in-state, cheaper option while living in the auxiliary dwelling unit while going to med school. Poor kid. I cannot imagine living like that until age 26, or even later. Ugh.

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OP- hugs.

First some specific advice and then some general advice-- take a look at the CUNY’s-- particularly Hunter, Queens, Macauley-- all of which will provide a rigorous undergrad education. If any of them are affordable (not sure exactly where you live so not sure about the living and commuting options) and still taking applications-- you should apply immediately. All three are better options than a community college (sorry to the folks outside the NY metro region, but they just are better, more rigorous, more substantial peer group if they are affordable). Well regarded four year universities and no issues worrying about which courses med schools will take, consider, disregard, etc. AND better advising-- whether for med school or another path.

General advice- for sure your parents have your best interests at heart. But at some point, you’ll need to develop the ability to hear the message “We love you and want what’s best for you” while disregarding the actual words “You may flunk out of a BS/DO program, lots of people do” or “You should become a nurse because it’s harder to become a physician”. This is hard to do- but you will likely be a happier and more self-confident person and a more productive student once you take the loving message (we care about your future) and ignore the fearful part (we think you might fail).

There is no way you’d have been accepted to the joint program if the adcom’s had any concerns about your academic chops. No way.

So figure out a cost effective way to move ahead. Call admissions at any place which accepted you and find out if they’d still consider offering you a seat- lay your cards on the line that you’ve run into a financial buzz saw. See which affordable CUNY’s are still taking applications- even if it’s for next January.

I know you don’t believe me- but you really, really, really don’t need to decide right now if you want to become a physician, a pharmacist, a nurse/NP, or anything else. All you need to do right now is to find a cost-effective way to get an undergraduate degree.

There are health related careers that you don’t even know about today. There are people who manage large hospital systems. There are statisticians and epidemiologists who track the transmission of infectious diseases to make sure that the vaccines and drugs needed to keep people from dying are in the right place at the right time. There are patient advocates who work with families when there is a family member participating in a clinical trial- vitally important work-- to make sure that the patient is accurately taking the drug and accurately recording side effects. (what one person experiences as “muscle ache” could be fatal in someone else). There are people who are extremely knowledgeable about Medicaid/Medicare and advocate at the state and federal level to make sure that appropriate treatments and drugs are being approved for coverage (these folks help make decisions which impact millions of people every year- how cool is that?).

So wanting a career in health care is fantastic. Not doing a joint program doesn’t mean you can’t get that second degree. There are many on-ramps.

And in the meantime- maybe you decide you want to become a speech therapist working with stroke victims, or a robotics researcher working to develop better prosthetics for land mine survivors.

But figure out next year with as little debt as possible…

Good luck! You can do this.

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@mv1206

Here’s a great resource for information about healthcare careers.

The site hosts a searchable database where you can investigate different careers by salary range and years education required.

Medicine is a team sport nowadays. The physician is just one player.

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You make a good point, I’ve been thinking of getting certified as a CNA or MA I heard from a lot ppl how it’s a good exposure to the medical field, also for Hofstra yeah it would’ve been around 18k which would also be too expensive for my parents. And im pretty sure I lost my seat as the program there fills up fast, but either way my parents won’t be able to afford that if they can’t afford the 20k

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Are they willing to tell you what they can afford? Is it anything, or have they told you they can’t afford anything at all.

One thing to think about is that there will be some cost savings for them when you go to college. Your college cost of attendance (the 20k you listed earlier) almost always includes a meal plan, so they can “save” the cost of whatever they spend on the food you eat while you are living at home. The same with any extra curriculars, if you took part in any cost-based ones while in high school (some kids do, some don’t).

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The truth is they don’t have a ton of money in savings. And if they spend the 60k for the three years of undergrad they’re not left with much, they’re also not enrolled in any retirement plans so I would literally be taking their entire life savings to go to college, and the 20k is if I don’t dorm and that is without the meal plan

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Have you looked at TAP or Excelsior to see if you qualify ?

Do they make under $65k? If so have you looked at Questbridge - if you took a gap year - if gap year kids are eligible ? Would have to research.

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Priority today: see if you’re eligible for TAP (and/or STEM).

This would cover tuition including all federal and state aid you can be awarded. One is income-based and the other is merit-based (check to see if NYIT qualifies as a SUNY.)

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Absolutely do see about your eligibility for TAP or Excelsior.

Are there any SUNY schools you can commute easily to from your home?

@sybbie719 any ideas for this student?

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Of course, you can’t do that. There are viable paths to getting the education you want. It’s a rude awakening, unfortunately, when you realize that your plans may not work the way you imagine them. Time to be resilient and consider other options.

Your primary goal has to be affordability. You do not want to max out your federal student loans, if possible. You do not want your parents taking loans on your behalf. You can’t take private loans for yourself for college, even if you wanted to, without a co-signer, and the interest rates are terrible. You want to avoid debt as much as you can.

I know this is a lot for you to take on right now, and it must be tough to have the rug yanked out from under your feet. It seems very clear that you will not have the money for your plan to attend NYIT, barring TAP or Excelsior.

Be proactive, adjust your plans, and move forward in a way that sets you on your path, even if that means waiting. A windy, uphill path is still a way to get where you want to go.

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Congrats on your achievements!!

A school that is not a financially feasible option for your family is still a rejection because you will not be able to attend. Even if Molloy and LUI are cheaper options, are they affordable to your family? Although 12k is not 20k your parents may still have concerns about paying this and depleting their cash flow especially since they are getting older.

I am sure that if OP is eligible for TAP it is already included in the financial aid package.

STEM only covers SUNY/CUNY and does not cover pre-med/med/nursing (does cover Biomed science). STEM can only be used for tuition.

Excelsior only covers SUNY/CUNY and is a last payer. Can only be used for tuition (if OP is receiving TAP/Pell that covers SUNY/CUNY tuition s/he will not receive funds from Excelsior).

NYIT is part of HEOP but not part of SUNY.

Did you use a bottoms-up approach in creating your list (Meaning you should have applied for SUNY during free application month/. You should have had Stonybrook, UB, and Albany on your list ). Did you apply to Sophie Davis?

The challenge with taking on as much work as possible is that you apply for financial aid every year. If s/he makes more than 6k (non-workstudy) it may affect any need-based aid in the financial aid package maybe increasing the out-of-pocket costs.

Is there an affordable option?

Did your family run the net price calculator at any of the schools that you were interested in attending? Would any school that meets 100% demonstrated need to be affordable to your family? This is why next year, every NYS senior will have to file for FAFSA (state mandate) or provide written opt out. Hopefully this will prompt conversations about paying for college and affordability

Pre-med is not a major. It is an intention and a collection of classes that can be taken anywhere. If you are in the city, commute to CUNY or SUNY and look at the Flexmed program at Mount Sinai as a pathway to med school.

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Have you reached out to LIU to see if it’s still possible to get this? Even though they accepted you for pharmacy, was your full ride restricted to only studying pharmacy? If it was open to any field, then this seems like a good possibility to investigate.

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Kaiser is a non-profit organization. So are some of its main competitors like Sutter Health.

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