I have mental problems. Do you hate me?

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<p>I don’t know about pmvd specifically, but oftentimes you can want to be helped, but also like being in the victim role. I’ve had that happen to me before, and it wasn’t that I didn’t want to be helped, because I did, it was more like I needed to start working through the victim-role issues before I was able to take full advantage of the help. The problem is that it can be hard to accept the help getting out of the victim-role, because there’s still the part of you that wants to stay there, even though there’s a part of you that hates being there as well.</p>

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<p>Yes… Yes you are.</p>

<p>Everyone is an attention whore. You are an attention whore.</p>

<p>As someone else said. “Stop wallowing in your self pity.” It’s sad and disgusting. I was diagnosed with depression and the minute I found that out I didn’t go crying to everyone, I worked my way out of it. </p>

<p>UNLIKE MOST PEOPLE, who seem to use a diagnosis as a crutch. “Oh I didn’t do my homework because of my depression. I didn’t ask her out because of my depression. I didn’t study because of my ADD.”</p>

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<p>That is one of the most beautiful things I have ever had the pleasure of hearing.</p>

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<p>SO STOP ASKING FOR ADVICE!</p>

<p>Mentally distraught or not, no one is gonna give you a cookie for complaining about it.
Yes, you have problems, no we don’t have a cure, and no, no one is gonna hate you for a disease or disorder, you may make them uncomfortable for they may not understand and often explaining it helps(not always), people are only going to hate you for who you are.</p>

<p>Take your meds, talk to your doctor, and work on getting yourself to where you want to be. Don’t go on a college forum and seek God’s cure your problems. </p>

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<p>Yes I’m an *******… bite me!</p>

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<p>Maybe you are right. Perhaps I want help but at the same time enjoy being a victim. It’s sort of like people who say they want to be successful but at the same time do nothing to become successful, because ‘becoming’ is a lot more difficult than ‘being’ successful.</p>

<p>So I think it’s fair to say that I sincerely long for a normal life but at the same time am too lazy or lack the skills necessary to do what it takes to get it.</p>

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<p>And more often than not, for who they think I am.</p>

<p>Who they think you are?</p>

<p>You have to realize there are two different types of identity. There is how you see yourself, and there is how others see you. It doesn’t matter what you think of yourself on the inside. People judge you based on your actions, they don’t know your private thoughts. To you, you are this misunderstood and lonely guy who has no friends. To others, you are a guy who they don’t know who never talks to them. You have been overcome by the paranoia that everyone hates you, when no one even knows anything about you.</p>

<p>I bet you feel like you’re in a hole that you can’t limb out of, and the hole keeps getting deeper and deeper. You can’t control how people percieve you, but you can control what they are percieving. The only way you can fix this is by investing time and energy into your social presence. That means being aware of world around you, and exposing yourself to popular media. If you worry about not being interesting, why not learn about what other people think is interesting. You might even like it. If you see something funny or interesting, bring it up in conversation. When someone else tells you about something their doing, share a comparable or relevant story. Talk about your childhood. Everyone likes talking about their childhood, and everyone had one.</p>

<p>You have to be creative and really put the effort in. You probably feel like you can’t interact with people because you don’t have enough information. So many people are so risk adverse that they never take a step forward because of the chance of failure, so they tell themselves that they’ll take the step when they know for certain that they’ll suceed. The fallacy here is that there is no such thing as having all the information, there are no guarantees in social interaction. Tho most outgoing people get shutdown all the time, but they are indifferent to the result so they keep talking to people and that is why they have so many friends. It’s not that they have magic aura, it is because they literally talk to more people.</p>

<p>You’ll never escape the stasis youre in if you don’t try something different. If you aren’t dedicated then no amount of posting in the world is going to help you. No amount of reading on the internet is going to change your situation. So you might as well get started now, you’re young and have plenty of life to live yet.</p>

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<p>No, I don’t think people hate me, but a lot of people I have met never seemed very fond of me.</p>

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<p>I don’t really care about the world around me or the popular media. At least not to the same extent “normal” people do.</p>

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<p>I don’t feel the need to tell people stories about funny, sad or interesting events in my life. I don’t feel the impulse, the anxiety to do it.</p>

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<p>I am not good at telling stories. It takes me a while to articulate my thoughts. I wish I could just open my mouth and effortlessly translate my perceptions of the world into meaningful, clearly organized sentences.</p>

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<p>I would need to memorize a script.</p>

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<p>Correct.</p>

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<p>I wish I had the same amount of emotional resilience.</p>

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<p>I agree I have to do something different, I just don’t know what. Approaching people and attempting to tell them stories is not very feasible in my case.</p>

<p>hey I am almost in the same boat as you. I get stress headache when my sad situation preoccupies my thoughts. </p>

<p>I was making friends last year. I could not click with many people but I thought I have clicked with some. Almost everything was going fine, if not great. Then next year, once I mov out of dorms, I find that no one I met, even those who I spend a lot time with wants to hang out with me again and often even talk. </p>

<p>However, I was not afraid how people perceive me, I cared little about that part. I was interested in what my friends are doing and what is going around in the world. But I had difficulty to adapt, partially due to my english being second language. I also realize couple times I was boring my friends complaining about school or other problems. I should had not whine and talk more about interesting things or make jokes. I should had focus less on talking and more on doing things with them such as playing video games. Now I realize if at least I was introducing my friends to other friends or my roommates rather than just hang out at their place, they would probably more likely like me because they might meet some interesting people they would never meet if I was not doing this for them. Perhaps try this.</p>

<p>Also read my philosophy I learned in class Hindu thought and culture recently, that may really help you. This comes from Bhagavad Gita:</p>

<p>Listen as I explain
the threefold nature of faith
inherent in the embodied self-
lucid, passionate and darkly inert.</p>

<p>Men of lucidity sacrifice to gods;
men of passion, to spirits and demons;
the others, men of dark inertia,
sacrifice to corpses and to ghosts, </p>

<p>Foods is also of three kinds,
to please each type of tastel
sacrifice, penance and charity likewise divine in three ways</p>

<p>Food that please lucid men
are savory, smooth firm and rich
they promote long life, lucidity, strength health pleasure and delight</p>

<p>Passionate men crave foods
that are bitter, sour, salty, hot
pungent, harsh and burning
causing pain, grief, and sickness.</p>

<p>The food that pleases
men of dark inertia is stale,
unsavory, putrid, and spoiled
leavings unfit for sacrifice</p>

<p>A sacrifice is offered with lucidity
when the norms are kept and the mind is
focused on the sacrificial act
without craving for its fruit</p>

<p>Bur a sacrifice is offered with passion,
when it is focused on the fruit
and hypocrisy is at play</p>

<p>A sacrifice is governed by dark inertia
when it violats the norms-
empty of faith, omitting the ritual offering of food and chants and gifts.</p>

<p>This threefold penance is lucid
when men of discipline perform it with deep faith
without craving for reward</p>

<p>Wavering and unstable,
performed with hypocrisy,
to gain respect, honor, and worship
that penance is called passionate</p>

<p>Performed with deluded perception
self-mortification or sadism,
such penance has dark inertia. </p>

<p>I hope it gives you some idea. The harder you try to make friends, the less likely you are going to do it, especially if you except a lot to gain something back in reward. Add less spicy seasoning to your food! THe philosophy here is to detach from desires but still do the things that please us, just not be dependent on them. Hopefully this helps! Good luck! Best wishes!</p>

<p>^ That prose was great!</p>

<p>PMVD,</p>

<p>You want to change but don’t know what to do? I listed a bunch of stuff there that will help you. You just don’t want to do any of it. You don’t want to talk to people about anything people usualy talk about.</p>

<p>The bottom line is that you are so afraid of failing that you are afraid to try. This whole process isn’t about information, it’s about practice. You would need to memorize a script? If that’s what it would take for you tell a story then maybe you should try it. I don’t know what you need, but what you’re doing right now sure as hell isn’t working.</p>

<p>And the feeding of the ■■■■■ starts again!</p>

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<p>That’s true. Just like the average person is not interested in talking about fractals and polynomials, I am not interested in talking about the weather, politics, celebrities, neighbors, tastes, leisure activities, etc.</p>

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<p>The problem is, I don’t care. You are asking me to put on a show I won’t be able to sustain. That’s not who I am.</p>

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<p>That’s true. I have also thought about travelling around the world or doing something extreme.</p>

<p>What’s the point of asking for advice if you don’t care? If you really don’t care, just stop caring about what everyone thinks and move on with your life.
If you really want to talk to someone about mathematics, join a math club if there is one, go to a math forum, find a classmate or professor who is as passionate about math as you are (taking math classes is a good idea if you aren’t already) or all of the above. Finding one person who cares about your interests is enough.</p>

<p>BTW, fractals would be interesting to the average person if you can explain it in layman’s terms or show them the beautiful pictures I saw on Google images.</p>

<p>the weather and celebrities? Goodness you really do think low of people. Honestly people have a wide variety of interests not necessarily on the list I can only glean you got from boring talks with adult relatives or bad tv shows. Just talk to people about what interests/fascinates YOU, be willing to listen to other people (you can’t be someone’s friend if you’re going to be that selfish jerk who only wants to listen to himself talk obviously) and I’m sure someone out there will think you make a good friend.</p>

<p>“are you canIHAZsumPIE” posted by smarteangel</p>

<p>uhm who do you think you are? I only posted that type of topic twice. YOU have never helped me in any way and you are NOT helping pmvd by making your sarcastic comments. THEY DO NOT BENEFIT ANYONE SO KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF. Seriously, if you are so annoyed with me and my “annoying posts”, which once again I only posted TWICE and I never SAW your RESPONSE-- YOU “SAID” YOU HELPED ME BUT I NEVER SAW IT-- do not even bother posting.</p>

<p>and btw, I am in high school…not college…get your facts straight. And sure, I would not mind being pmvd’s friend…I like to be friends with everyone. I go on this subforum to check out college life since I will be there in about 1 year…</p>

<p>And pmvd, you DO NOT have mental problems. You are NOT dumb, you are smart. I read your threads and they demonstrate a EXCELLENT GRASP of the English language, unlike our “friend” smarteangel over there who doesn’t know how to spell. Now, on the other hand, I “somewhat” agree with others that you do not take other people’s advice. Once you start doing that and actually listening, things will work out for you. Trust me. Screw the people who don’t “like you” because you will never see them again. Be friendly with the people who always enjoy your company. And don’t say that nobody enjoys your company. You don’t enjoy their company, so once you start doing that, everyone will enjoy your company. I do not mean any offense…since I have ranted about that too (and TWICE ONLY SHEESH), but it all works out in the end.</p>

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<p>I was referring to my lack of desire to talk to people.</p>

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<p>The point of the comparison was: the lack of interest laypeople have towards the things that interest me is not too different from the lack of interest I have towards the things that interest laypeople. </p>

<p>I never said I wanted to talk about math, but I’d rather talk about math than any of the other subjects I mentioned. I am not a talker.</p>

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<p>True, but with my verbal abilities and the amount of time it takes me to articulate my thoughts I don’t see how I could even get started talking about fractals. I would need to start by memorizing a few dictionary definitions.</p>

<p>If you don’t want to talk to anyone, then just don’t. As long as you’re not rude about it, just don’t talk. Make an excuse like you’re busy or you don’t have time. Who the hell cares if they think you have mental problems? You’re not trying to impress them.</p>

<p>Can the CC administrators just create a new section for social ■■■■■■■? And maybe a subsection for pity whores who don’t actually want to take advice.</p>

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<p>That’s not a bad idea.</p>

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<p>I second that it’s a great idea. Let’s be nice and call it something like Social Skills or Adjusting In College.</p>

<p>Or a better title could be Life Issues.</p>

<p>Or maybe just “Issues.” ;)</p>