I know you're (mostly) not doctors, but . . .

Parent Cafe
61

<p>Wow, Donna, sending you some prayers your way (hoping agnostic prayers count)? I surely hope this turns out to be nothing but a bother. On the tooth front, get thee to a dentist to make sure you don’t need a root canal. At least a root canal might get you a couple of days off with nice pain free, sleep inducing medication, I’m hoping. Though it sounds like you’ve been under so much stress, it could be TMJ, and not tooth related at all. I sometimes think I have a painful tooth, and it’s usually just TMJ, which can feel an awful lot like the same thing. Stress makes it worse. But if you need a root canal, it will keep getting progressively worse.</p>

<p>If nothing else, can you just get some time off to relax and get healthy? Is there any way?</p>

62

<p>Thank you, jingle. And my very best wishes to you for continued good health!</p>

<p>One would think that my having lived with a serious chronic illness for the last 33 years would have made me more used to the process of waiting for the shoe to drop (or not), but I suppose it doesn’t really work that way.</p>

<p>Busdriver, I’m really hoping to be able to take a few days off before the end of the year, so I can spend some more time with J. now that he’s home. I’m certainly entitled to, since I’ve taken only about 6 of my 20 theoretical vacation days this year (theoretical because I can only carry over a maximum of five from one year to the next). I just can’t do it this week, and probably not next week either, because my boss decided that <em>he’s</em> going to take next week off, and I’m generally not allowed to take time off when he’s on vacation. I was hoping to take this Friday off, and J. was bitterly disappointed when I told him today that I almost certainly can’t. (It seems that he had somehow heard “hopefully” as “definitely.”) I’m disappointed, too. I could have used it, even apart from wanting to be with him. (I did tell him what’s going on with me, but managed not to convey just how anxious I am, so he wouldn’t worry too much himself for now.)</p>

<p>As for my tooth, I hope it turns out that at worst, I just need a filling. Coincidentally, I do have a regular checkup with my dentist scheduled for Saturday, so I hope she can take care of whatever it is while I’m there.</p>

63

<p>You know what I’m thinking right now about your boss. I’m sure he’s a fine guy, but…sometimes…:(</p>

<p>Good luck on both counts. It sounds like you should be having 14 days off, starting pretty soon (yeah right). I hope you can take at least some of them.</p>

<p>Late Happy Hannukah to you.</p>

64

<p>Very good news, I think! The surgeon didn’t do a biopsy because she wants to wait and see what the ultrasound shows (I still haven’t gotten any kind of notification from the radiology place, but I think I’ll just go ahead and call them to make an appointment). But, after examining me, she seemed quite confident that whatever the reason is for the swollen lymph node, it is very unlikely to be cancer. She also thought, and I agree, that the swelling is not – at least not anymore – what she would call “marked,” which is how the mammogram report described it. In other words, it’s almost certainly less swollen than it was just last Saturday when I had the mammogram.</p>

<p>So, even though nothing is certain yet, I am feeling incredibly relieved right now. Last weekend, after the mammogram, I was absolutely, 100% emotionally convinced – especially at 3 am! – that I have cancer, that I’ll be dead in a few years, how will J. cope, who will take care of my cat Ziggy, etc., etc. This morning, for no particularly logical reason, I woke up equally 100% emotionally convinced that I’m going to be OK. And, while it’s embarrassing to admit how superstitious I can sometimes be on a personal level (even though intellectually I’m a confirmed skeptic and a longtime subscriber to the Skeptical Inquirer!), I took as an additional good omen the fact that as it turns out, the surgeon’s office is across the street from the apartment building where my grandmother lived when I was a child. (She died when I was 13, but we used to visit her almost every week because we lived only 12 blocks away, and I immediately recognized the front of the building even though I had long since forgotten the specific address.)</p>

<p>Now, I do understand that these emotional convictions and supposed omens have no predictive validity. But they feel very real to me, so at least for now, especially given what the surgeon said, I am definitely much happier than I was a few days ago! And will gladly accept the sense of slight embarrassment I have right now that maybe I was overreacting all along, in exchange for a good outcome.</p>

<p>The other thing I wanted to mention, even though it’s off-topic, is that my discussion this morning with the surgeon reminded me of how difficult it can be sometimes for people, even medical professionals, to understand what I’m talking about when I explain my history. When she asked me at the beginning what major surgeries I’ve had in my life, I mentioned, along with the six or seven other surgeries I’ve had, the fact that I had genital reconstruction surgery (which is how I generally refer to it) last year. She wrote it down, and certainly didn’t appear not to understand what I meant. But then, a few minutes later, she asked me, Do you still menstruate? I said, um, no, remember I mentioned the surgery I had last year; I’m transgender. Her: Oh. So, are you saying you don’t have internal female organs? Me: Not that I’ve noticed. And so on. I think she got it eventually, but it took a while. Not that I’m complaining; I actually find that sort of thing quite affirming of my identity. Still, it is kind of funny in a way. </p>

<p>Thanks again so much to all of you.</p>

<p>Donna</p>

65

<p>I’m so, so glad for you. I know how terrifying that can be, and I know how liberating it can be to find out that it’s no big deal. So happy that you get to experience that second ‘liberation’ part now!!</p>

66

<p>That’s cool to have found the apartment building where your grandmother lived.</p>

67

<p>Yes, that is pretty cool. It has a very distinctive Art Deco facing on the first couple of floors, and I recognized it instantly, even after more than 40 years. I also remembered that the building was on East 79th Street, even if I didn’t recall the exact address, so I knew it had to be the right one.</p>

<p>I don’t remember the exact apartment number either, but I vividly remember what the apartment looked like. She was the person most responsible, I think, for getting me started on my lifelong habit of museum-going, since we used to walk over to the Metropolitan Museum of Art all the time. It’s almost difficult to believe now that I actually knew someone that well who was born in 1888 (up in Syracuse) and remembered what the world was like before automobiles.</p>

68

<p>Hey Donna, hope the news continues to be great!</p>

69

<p>Great to hear! I hope you have a wonderful - and relaxed- holiday with your son!</p>

70

<p>

</p>

<p>Well, genital reconstruction surgery is not what you had if you are transgender. You had gender reassignment surgery. So it is no wonder your doctor asked you if you still menstruate and other follow up questions. You listed a different operation than the one you had.</p>

<p>Genital reconstruction surgery is the term used for surgeries to repair genital trauma, for instance a military person who has their legs blown off by an IED and it damages their genitals, or to repair a congenital genital anatomical or functional abnormality, for instance, a female child with an abnormally large clitoris caused by an adrenal gland disorder or hypospadias in a male child.</p>

<p>When your genitals are not abnormal, but you are transgender and want to change your genitals to that of the opposite gender, that is properly termed gender reassignment surgery, not genital reconstruction surgery. So you can’t fault the medical personnel if they don’t get it if you don’t list the correct name of your surgery.</p>

71

<p>Actually, no. It’s not 1980 anymore. Genital reconstruction surgery is now a very common term to describe the surgery. My genitals were, in fact, “abnormal” for a woman – which is what I certainly already was at the time of the surgery – and, hence, “reconstruction” is precisely what was done even under your definition. </p>

<p>Gender reassignment surgery is, the eyes of many, a highly outmoded term. My “gender” has always been female in the sense of identity, and had been female in terms of presentation (as well as legally) for a number of years prior to the surgery. Surgery didn’t “reassign” my gender; the idea that it could have is rather odd, in fact, and reflects a basic misapprehension of the nature of being trans. As does using terminology like “the opposite gender.” Your assumption that I was still a man when I had the surgery is quite offensive, actually.</p>

<p>The fact is, there is not, and never has been, any one proper term for that particular surgery. I can think of at least 5 terms that are, or have in the recent past, been commonly used: sex reassignment surgery, gender reassignment surgery, genital reassignment surgery, genital reconstruction surgery, and gender confirmation surgery. They are all common enough that they should be understood by any specifically LGBT-friendly physician (which this one is, since I was referred to her as such by an LGBT-specific health center. Not to mention that she is almost certainly part of the LGBT community herself.) </p>

<p>In any event, in this day and age, it’s considered rather presumptuous for non-trans people, medical professionals or otherwise, well-meaning or otherwise, to lecture trans people about what is or isn’t the “proper” terminology to be applied to them. (The same as is true of many other minority populations, frankly.) I assure you that most trans people know infinitely more about trans issues (and current terminology) than most medical personnel. So, please don’t tell me that I wasn’t using “proper” or “correct” terminology. And I didn’t use the term I did to be obscure; I always use it, and so do a lot of people.</p>

<p>Also, if you think I was “faulting” her for not figuring out that I have a trans history, you missed the point. I was quite flattered, obviously. So there’s no need for you to defend her.</p>

72

<p>Well, whatever, anyways…the fact that you feel well, sound happy and less worried, and that this is probably good news for you is what matters. :D</p>

73

<p>Donna, glad to hear that things are sounding more positive and less worrisome and I hope you have all the answers very soon, as it can be unnerving in the meantime. Keep the faith. </p>

<p>Atacom, here is the definition of “genital reconstructive surgery” from Wikipedia:</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Seems to me that Donna had that exact surgery.</p>

74

<p>Also, Wikipedia’s definition of sex reassignment surgery is:</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Seems to me that both “genital reconstructive surgery” and “sex reassignment surgery” are used interchangeably for the same thing.</p>

75

<p>

</p>

<p>[S-R-S&lt;/a&gt; Surgery-? Sex-Change Operation?](<a href=“http://www.shvoong.com/medicine-and-health/gynecology/2067172-surgery-sex-change-operation/]S-R-S”>http://www.shvoong.com/medicine-and-health/gynecology/2067172-surgery-sex-change-operation/)</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>[Hudson’s</a> Guide: FTM Basics: Terminology](<a href=“http://www.ftmguide.org/terminology.html]Hudson’s”>Hudson's Guide: FTM Basics: Terminology)</p>

<p>If you don’t like the source of the quotes, that’s fine. I don’t wish to argue that with you. The fact is that Donna L. is transgendered and has had the surgery and I think she would know more about correct usage of terms than you or I. Attacking my intelligence is a personal attack. You have already gone after Donna.</p>

76

<p>Atacom, I have reported your post for rudeness. Not to mention overweening arrogance and condescension.</p>

<p>It is completely inappropriate, especially in this thread, for you to come here and try to lecture me on proper terminology on trans issues. And then show yourself unable even to attempt to respond to my pointing out that the term you use makes no sense, either in my case or in most cases, whereas the term I use makes perfect sense. Instead, you rely on an unsupported argument from authority, with the authority apparently consisting of your say-so, and the impression you convey of being some sort of medical professional.</p>

<p>It is equally inappropriate for you to insult me by deliberately using terms (and I don’t mean only the term for the surgery I had) intended to imply that I was still “male” prior to surgery. Never mind that I was, and had been for years, a woman, legally, socially, and medically as well, in every way but one, and, yes, that my genitals were reconstructed to be the normal genitals to match who I already was. (The fact is that I was universally perceived as a woman long before I had surgery, and the surgery had nothing to do with that universal perception of my gender, in 99% of my interactions with people. And that perception was kind of the point of my little PS about my conversation with the doctor, you know.) </p>

<p>Do you really think it’s OK to come here and use language like “stomping my feet”? Implying that I’m just being emotional and irrational and denying reality (because of course that’s what trans people do, amirite)? Using the repulsive and dangerous trope of the trans person as deceiver and “confuser”? Seriously? Me? You don’t know me, lady. </p>

<p>By the way, I don’t have a therapist anymore. Don’t need one. Haven’t for some time now. It’s actually quite healthy for me not to be willing just to tug my forelock and say yes ma’am and acquiesce in whatever insults or inaccuracies some clueless cis person decides to propagate. Perhaps you need to consult your therapist about why you keep saying I was “faulting” the doctor I saw today. When it’s extremely clear that that wasn’t what I was doing. </p>

<p>I’m beginning to think that you really aren’t a medical professional. Most doctors I know, at least ones with any experience at all in this area, have a far more nuanced view of things. They fully realize that the terminology for this kind of surgery is and always has been fluid, that it isn’t a legislative process but an essentially collaborative one in which medical terminology often follows usage in the community (rather than being dictated from the top down), and that there clearly is no one “proper” or “correct” term. You seem to think that the God of medicine came down on Mt. Sinai (Hospital, presumably) and decreed for all time the term “gender reassignment surgery,” so it has always been, so it shall always be. Sorry, but it doesn’t work that way, and all you accomplish by insisting that it does is demonstrate a rather remarkable lack of historical knowledge. You do know that it was once called sex change surgery, right? And was, and still often is, referred to as sex reassignment surgery, long before anyone ever thought of calling it gender reassignment surgery, right? </p>

<p>Well, maybe not.</p>

<p>I suggest that before you continue to embarrass yourself, you actually do some research on, say, Google Scholar, and see just how common it is now in the medical, legal, and social science fields to use the term genital reconstruction surgery in the transgender context. Why? Because that’s exactly what it is. Genitals being reconstructed. Regardless of the reason. </p>

<p>Just how many examples of current medical and academic usage do I actually have to give you before you admit that you are simply and completely wrong, and apologize for your unpleasant behavior? 10? 100? 1000? 10,000? I can do it. And I’m not talking about Wikipedia, either.</p>

77

<p>Some examples from the medical, legal, public health, and social science fields. Not that I’ll hold my breath waiting for an apology, because people who demonstrate the kind of arrogance you’ve displayed here – all for what? why do you care, anyway? – rarely do apologize.</p>

<p>Total laparoscopic hysterectomy for female-to-male transsexuals
KA O’Hanlan, SL Dibble… - Obstetrics & Gynecology, 2007 - journals.lww.com
… sexual taking long-term testosterone contained a rich concentration of androgen receptors, leading to a recommendation that transsexuals undergoing genital reconstruction surgery always have … Transsexual patients should have fertility counseling from the gynecologist as well …</p>

<p>Unveiling the mystique of gender dysphoria syndrome
ML Colucciello - Nursing Forum, 1996 - interscience.wiley.com
… Unveiling the Mystique of Gender Dysphoria Syndrome for treating transgendered and transsexual people. … The patients often defer genital reconstruction surgery but as Rees states, '%being successful in the male role does not depend on …</p>

<p>Informing interventions: The importance of contextual factors in the prediction of sexual risk behaviors among transgender women
JM Sevelius, OG Reznick, SL Hart… - AIDS Education & …, 2009 - Guilford Publications
… SExUAL RISK BEHAVIORS AMONG TRANSGENDER WOMEN … measure gender-confirming
procedures, partici- pants were asked, “Have you had any type of gender confirmation surgery?” This question included but was not limited to genital reconstruction surgery, including a …</p>

<p>CHANGE OF SEX DESIGNATION ON TRANSSEXUALS’BIRTH CERTIFICATES: PUBLIC POLICY AND EQUAL PROTECTION
[PDF] from cardozolawandgender.comS Markowitz - Cardozo JL & Gender, 2008 - litigation-essentials.lexisnexis.com
… postoperative transsexuals who have not undergone complete genital reconstruction discourages FTM transsexuals from going through the extreme risk and expense of genital reconstruction
surgery. … The Superior Court of New Jersey held that where a transsexual was born …</p>

<p>C Gross - The National Catholic Bioethics Quarterly, 2009 - NCB Center
… To highlight the experience of transsexual men and women who seek surgery and
to indicate what actually takes place in surgery, Heath opts to use the term “genital
reconstruction surgery” instead of sex reassignment surgery. … </p>

<p>The Right to Define One’s Own Concept of Existence: What Lawrence Can Mean for
T People - Georgetown Journal of Gender and the Law - HeinOnline
… at birth but without undergoing genital surgery," while the term “transsexual” referred to "a person who desires to change bodily sex characteristics, irrespective of whether the person has undergone, or intends to undergo, corrective genital reconstruction surgery (CGRS), also …</p>

<p>CHANGE OF SEX DESIGNATION ON TRANSSEXUALS’BIRTH CERTIFICATES: PUBLIC
S MARKOWITZ - HeinOnline
… However, should MTF transsexuals have to undergo complete genital reconstruction surgery to receive an amended birth certificate if FTM transsexuals do not … Legal determination of a transsexual person’s sex varies from state to state and also differs when amending a birth …</p>

<p>and Physical Health of Trans Clients
SC Kirk - … , gay, bisexual, and transgender public health: a …, 2006 - books.google.com
… Surgery (SRS) Sex reassignment surgery (sometimes called gender confirmation surgery) can refer to any of a series of surgeries intended to help transgender individu- als attain their desired sex/gender, though the term is used usually to refer to genital reconstruction surgery. …</p>

<p>Young adults’ constructions of gender conformity and nonconformity: AQ methodological study EB Brownlie - Feminism & Psychology, 2006 - fap.sagepub.com
… Social Construction participants also sup- ported the rights of transgender and intersex people, who often have their gender controlled by … 58. People who want to have genital reconstruction surgery (sex changes) should not be required to conform to sex role stereotypes of their …</p>

<p>[PDF] IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF COOK COUNTY, ILLINOIS COUNTY DEPARTMENT, CHANCERY DIVISION
[PDF] from aclu.orgV KIRK, K ROTHKOPF… - aclu.org
… Plaintiffs are aware of a number of other transsexual individuals who Defendant has refused accurate birth certificates because they chose surgeons who were not licensed in the United States or because they have not completed genital reconstruction surgery, {see Exs. …</p>

<p>HIV prevention and primary care for transgender women in a community-based clinic
[PDF] from carloshaya.netRM Melendez… - Journal of the Association of Nurses in AIDS …, 2009 - Elsevier
… None of the TW had undergone genital reconstruction surgery, but 5 participants had undergone breast augmentation procedures. … A large proportion of participants indicated that they did not use the term transgender to identify themselves, although they knew what it meant. …</p>

<p>Is the Renaissance Still Alive in Michigan? Or Just Extrinsic? Transsexuals’ Rights After National Pride at Work
KC Rose - Ohio NUL Rev., 2009 - HeinOnline
… 333.2831(c). Some prefer the term ‘genital reconstruction surgery’ (“GRS”) or the term ‘corrective genital reconstruction surgery’ (“CGRS”). … This transsexual birth certificate statutelZ–in both administrative function and deeper contextual meaning-was on the books at the time the …</p>

<p>[BOOK] The Praeger handbook of transsexuality: changing gender to match mindset
RA Heath - 2006 - books.google.com
… In 1918, Hirschfeld revealed that the first genital reconstruction surgery (GRS) occurred in Berlin as early as 1912 … The Gay and Lesbian Historical Society of Northern California14 reviewed transgender activism in the Tenderloin dis- trict of San Francisco between 1966 and 1975 …</p>

<p>History of Gender Variance in Pre-20th Century Anglo-American Law, A
KC Rose - Texas Journal of Women and the Law, 2004 - HeinOnline
… Transsexual: A person who desires to change bodily sex characteristics, irrespective of whether the person has undergone, or intends to undergo, corrective genital reconstruction surgery (CGRS), also referred to as sex reassignment surgery (SRS). …</p>

<p>[PDF] THE TREATMENT
[PDF] from thetreatment.com.auJL Williams - Semin Respir Med, 1980 - thetreatment.com.au
… was appropriate in my case, and more recently to assess my suitability as a candidate for GRS (Genital Reconstruction Surgery) as a … Phobic reactions to GLBTI individuals (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex) on the grounds of sexuality and being transgendered and …</p>

<p>Transgender Health - UCLGBTIA
transgender genital reconstruction surgery; d. Drugs for hair loss or growth; e. Voice therapy or voice modification surgery; …
[Transgender</a> Health - UCLGBTIA](<a href=“California Campus LGBTQ Centers: UCLGBTIA”>California Campus LGBTQ Centers: UCLGBTIA) - Cached - Similar</p>

<p>genital reconstruction - PDF,DOC,PPT Search,Preview,Download
Genital Reconstruction Surgery (Orchiectomy, Penile Inversion) Facial … Medical Therapy and Health Maintenance for Transgender Men: A Guide For . …
[genital</a> reconstruction - PDF,DOC,PPT Search,Preview,Download](<a href=“http://www.pdfebooksdownloads.com/ppt/genital-reconstruction~0]genital”>http://www.pdfebooksdownloads.com/ppt/genital-reconstruction~0)</p>

<p>Know Your Rights - Transgender People and the Law | American Civil …
Nov 19, 2009 … Do laws that bar disability discrimination protect transgender people? … and usually refers to genital reconstruction surgery. …
<a href=“http://www.aclu.org/.../know-your-rights-transgender-people-and-law[/url]”>www.aclu.org/…/know-your-rights-transgender-people-and-law</a> - Cached - Similar</p>

<p>GLAD Wins Tax Deduction for GRS Genital Reconstruction -
Nov 30, 2004 … "Any notion that medical treatment for a transgender person is purely … Rhiannon O’Donnabhain underwent Genital reconstruction Surgery in …
[FTM</a> Informational Network](<a href=“http://www.ftminfo.net/041130glad.html]FTM”>http://www.ftminfo.net/041130glad.html) - Cached</p>

<p>Surgery.com - Sex Reassignment Surgery Statistics, Survival Rate …
Feb 17, 2009… for gender identity disorder in transsexual and transgender people. … sex reconstruction surgery, genital reconstruction surgery, …
<a href=“http://www.surgery.com/procedure/sex...surgery/demographics[/url]”>www.surgery.com/procedure/sex…surgery/demographics</a> - Cached - Similar</p>

<p>So that’s 20 for you. How many more before you’re willing to admit that I know what I’m talking about? How many more before you’re willing to admit that your gratuitous insults weren’t called for, that I’m not out to confuse, that I’m neither stomping my feet – something that’s kind of hard to do, so I assume you meant stamping – nor denying reality?</p>

<p>And just how many scholarly articles can you come up with supporting your viewpoint that there’s only one correct medical term for trans surgery, and that it’s the one you insist upon? What are you going to do, cite some old medical textbook that uses the term? So what? Even that won’t say it’s the <em>only</em> proper term. Nor could it. Nor can anyone. Nobody has that authority. Certainly not you.</p>

78

<p>And thanks busdriver and others. Of course finding out that I’m probably OK (knock on wood!) is the most important thing. </p>

<p>I just don’t like it that now that I’m finally feeling relieved, someone has to come here and attack me for no reason, seemingly trying to ruin my good mood, all because they erroneously think I’m using incorrect terminology, and erroneously think I was faulting the doctor for not recognizing the term I used. Which I wasn’t. And maybe she did recognize that the term has more than one meaning, you know? Maybe her confusion was an example of cognitive dissonance. It happens. What a tempest in a teapot. But atacom has to realize that I’m not someone who lets an attack like that go unchallenged! Especially when it wasn’t simply an attack on me, but an attack on trans people in general, in the sense that atacom seems to be trying to use bullying tactics to deprive trans people of any agency and any role in controlling or even influencing the discourse about our own lives. It’s not going to happen. Those days are over.</p>

79

<p>^Applause!!</p>

80

<p>I wish you well, DonnaL, and hope that your tests prove your optimism to be correct. Please keep us posted!</p>