I think you should go to a boutique. The salespeople act exactly like a personal shopper. Boutiques carry fewer lines than dept. stores, so it doesn’t seem so overwhelming. The store that I go to has a seamstress on staff who pins so I can see how it looks before I decide to buy. My store knows me very well and pulls things off the sale racks all the time for me to try. They also call me if something I liked goes on sale. If you don’t like to shop (and I hate, hate, hate shopping in department stores (except for a few departments at Saks) it’s better to find a few boutiques whose clothes you like and shop their exclusively.
I would strongly advise against shopping on line if you have no idea what looks good on you. I could imagine lots and lots of returning.
I have a uniform of stuff I buy and wear over and over. Skinny jeans that are stretchy, tank and cardigan. Usually in a variety of black and gray with color accents. People say buy scarves and they will change things up but I am scarf challenged. I have them and put them on. I fiddle with them and they never look right. And if I wear them out of the house, they bug me and I tear them off.
In the summer I wear tees usually from talbots because they wash up well and are not too sheer. With shorts or capris.
What I am trying to say is that I and lots of people have a uniform of some sorts. That we wear all the time because it’s easy.
I hate shopping, too, and if at all possible will go on a weekday when the store opens. After about an hour, I take a break for coffee, and then I can last about another hour. I do think that in the long run, it is best for me to buy fewer pieces that are better quality and can keep me from having to endure the shopping experience for a while. I used to try to shop off-price to save money, but I wound up with a closet full of pieces that didn’t always work well together. I really don’t care if I wear the same thing often as long as it is comfortable and I feel halfway attractive in it.
The Vivienne Files and Une Femme d’un Certain Age are a couple of blogs that I look at to try to work up some enthusiasm and get some ideas. The capsule wardrobes that one of the bloggers puts together are my goal.
If you have a Nordstroms, sign up for some time with a personal shopper. They have a knack for understanding body styles and for selecting items that work for you. (don’t feel obligated to buy) You might try Talbots online for a classic pantsuit and they have talls.
Find a few brands that fit you well and start there…
FYI -Banana Republic and Gap (they do have some that are not uber form fitting) have long and tall jeans online.
I think a personal shopper would make me break out in hives…I hate shopping, too. So much is not appropriate, one way or another. I don’t want to be one of those sad older women who is trying to look young; OTOH, I am not quite ready for sneakers, elastic waistbands and pale pastels.
Seriously, the biggest help ever was a book I was given called 40 Over 40 by Brenda Kinsel. It’s a short but very practical bunch of guidelines, all with an emphasis on being happy in our clothes. The biggest takeaways for me were only buy things you love, keep a list of things you find yourself needing, and dress the person you are right now – size, attitude, outlook — not something you were, or hope to be. Anyway, I highly recommend it to those of us who hate shopping for clothes. Super uplifting and helpful.
I also would recommend a personal shopper at Nordstroms. Dressing rooms are nice and the sales people are usually super helpful. If you could find a few new things that you like then you may be able to buy some similar things on your own after that, knowing that certain styles look good on you. When I shop now I send pictures to my D because she has a really good sense of fashion and is always honest with me. Also the boutique idea from emilybee is a good one though likely to be more expensive. We have some nice boutiques in our area and I have used them especially for special occasions as the salespeople are usually very helpful and have the time for more personal attention.
Based on skin, hair, and eye color, there is a pallet of colors that likely best complement you, and blend with each other. There is a book called Color Me Beautiful that you can use to figure out your colors. Or you just tell us your coloring and we can probably tell you your colors. When I go into a store, knowing my colors helps me eliminate 3/4 of the items on a rack and focus on the ones that bring out my glow.
LasMa. Keep shopping short and focused…today I will buy dress pants or today I will buy casual pants. That should help. Old Navy, Penny’s, Lands End (Sears) carry tall pants as does the Gap. You can google tall women and pants and find stores you might like.
Go to one of those local stores and look for pants only. Find one pair that fits the very best and buy those (as you said its easy to get them shortened).
Then go home and buy other pairs on line the exact same brand and size in colors that you think you like.
Next time do the same with shirts or jackets etc.
Its important to know what colors look best around your face. Do you get compliments wearing any one thing in particular? For example, my fair skinned, blond, blue eyed husband looks terrible in pastel greens and yellows.
Do you have anyone you can ask what color looks best on you?
I used to love shopping for clothes…back in the 80s. I kid you not!
Padded shoulders were very flattering to my narrow shouldered protruding tummy figure. Slim skirts, with a real waistband looked great on me, especially the longer mid-calf length because my legs aren’t great. I could find lots of boxy sweaters,or long tunic sweaters. Again, very flattering. Pants were available with a waistband and double pleats. Exactly what I needed to take the focus off my tummy. And I’m a size 8, in case you think my issues are weight related.
I had a ton of clothes then, because I found so many things that worked.
Now everything is slim, tight, form fitting. Besides the fact that that style is very uncomfortable to me, it looks terrible on me.
Low rise pants don’t stay up on me. I guess wearing a belt would keep them on, but the belt adds girth to the part of my figure I’m trying to draw attention away from.
At my age, I don’t think fashion will ever change enough for me to have a good experience shopping again.
The closest thing I have found is a local boutique that has a few things that work for me. I second the suggestion of finding just such a boutique, and then become a regular customer.
OP,
You are better off than majority! Good for you that you hate shopping. I hate shopping also. I am way past your age and still work full time. I just got rid of about 20 huge bags of clothes (maybe more?). My H. was taking them to Salvation Army where they know his face very well. I decided to leave the rest for next year tax return. I am free from shopping, no more! I am not cleaning them out again, no way! I do not even like to shop for grocery. The only store I go with my H. is Costco and only because they have samples there, enough for my lunch and it is fun! When I get my 30% off coupon from Kohl’s, I used it for jewelry gifts for my D. and grandD. That is if I am not feeling lazy to actually drive there. If I feel that sales people are busy, I might just leave, I have no patience. I am glad that I am not the only one!
Point 1 is silly. Wear what you like, don’t worry about what might “look good” to others. Within reason, don’t wear dirty clothes with holes in them to a job interview.
I agree with the “uniform” theory. The best place I worked had a button down shirt with the company logo that we wore on job sites, and most of us who had them would wear them in the office because it was easier.
Remember the recent thread about stores we love and hate? Can I vent and say the reason I haven’t ordered clothes for myself online in decades, unless I already know the item or sizing reality, is: Talbots. The stuff that came disappointed- and I know that could be just me.
The disadvantage to a boutique is the limited choices. Maybe you hit paydirt, maybe not. For someone so frustrated and just now exploring style choices, I still vote Nordstrom. Even so, it will take a few trips over a few seasons. Btw, sometimes a silk short-sleeved shell works very well for business, under a jacket or with the jacket off. Uncomplicated. Lots of color choices. A no-brainer. Can be washable.
No, nothing wrong with the uniform concept, but I think LasMa is talking about a limited selection of suit and shirts, not company logos.
Thanks, everyone! I’m at work so can’t really study what you’ve written too much, but I’m looking forward to it tonight.
Also, it’s good to know I’m not the only one with this infirmity. Everyone I know IRL just LOVES to shop, and can’t relate at all.
@amarylandmom Very helpful, thank you. I just texted D and asked if she’d be willing to complete the StitchFix form for me (I know she will). Also thanks for the NYDJ link.
I’m late to this thread but have to comment that I absolutely loved this statement by OP!!!
“D(ep)ressing rooms.”
I echo the idea of going in with one small goal (with the hopes of one small “win”!!) - “today I’m looking for a pair of cropped white pants” or “today I’m looking for a blue button down blouse with a pattern”.
As someone who loves to shop, to me, one of the first hurdles to tackle is a step towards enjoying shopping. What is important to you in a shopping trip??
having someone along?
having all day to look?
limiting the looking to 2 hours?
more comfortable in a larger or smaller store?
is it important to you to find sale items? It’s hard for me to shop without feeling like I got both a quality item AND at a good price.
knowing that mid way through the trip you get to have lunch out? (seriously, does this make it more of an outing than a “job” to you???)
Think about that a little.
Also you describe yourself as dressing preppy - cause that’s how you have dressed for decades. Do you want a different look? Look around you at work or in the neighborhood or at church - pick someone who is sort of your build and who you admire how they dress. Study them for awhile (just don’t be too creepy!). Take notes after you see them! When you have a good grasp on what it is about them that you love, then make a plan to duplicate for yourself.
If the option with your D doesn’t work out, I agree with the suggestions to use Nordstrom personal shopping. Do a short appointment to focus on finding brands of pants that fit, then use any remaining time to find colors/styles of tops that look good or whatever else you want to look at. You have no obligation to buy.
After this you should be a little more comfortable with what to try, so watch the Nordstrom sales and order on-line. Their ordering/free return process is great. I routinely order 3-5 outfits for me or my daughters, try things on at home, then ship what we don’t want back in the same boxes. We’ve done this for prom gowns, graduation dresses and work clothes. Very low stress.
D texted back “Definitely!” she will help me with the Stitchfix form. She even knows someone who works there lol.
@MomOf2TeenGirls I think both. I will have to go to Nordie for the immediate needs. But I’m hopeful that with my D’s help, Stitchfix might help me build a wardrobe over the longer term.
Select a Personal shopper with experience serving us older folk; this could also be a very young person who can look at your body type and skin and hair color and know what suits you. I also second dress barn.
Stay within a budget! You could have 3 main pieces that work with a series of other pieces.
Look at your skin color with different solid colors. (Look at free junk mail catalogs and see if any of the cothing styles look good to you; then send these to your dd for a second opinion. Take those pictures with you to the personal shopper or dress barn)
(Most of the time, black, white, royal blue, jade, dark red work well for my skin color.
Beige, yellow, pink don’t work well for me, but some pastels from lands end and jones New York work well.)
Recycle your old clothes by adding accessories and scarves. It will make a difference.
I have hated shopping since my teen years and I try not to spend more than 10 minutes in a store. My uniform is usually Dockers or similar slacks and solid shirts, with belts, earrings, scarves, necklaces and different shoes.
