I Wanna Retire!!

Parent Cafe
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<p>Interestingly, VH, my H changed careers in the last couple years because he was too stressed by what he was doing. He’s now making about a third of what he was four years ago.</p>

<p>He first went part-time (and cut income by 40%) during S’s first year of school. Then he quit entirely so he could do his student teaching, then sub, so for second year he made almost nothing. Now, during S’s third year, he is making first year teacher’s salary (stll more than I make.) So, we are getting through S’s four years on far less than we had originally planned on. Will we have a comfortable retirement? By our standards, we think so, but, our standards are pretty low!!!</p>

<p>For overall quality of life, there’s no doubt this was the right decision.</p>

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<p>Haven’t read this whole thread, but I agree with northeastmom. “NC is no longer that cheap . . .” I think it depends on where you are living in NC. Certainly, the Triangle area (which includes Cary that northeastmom mentioned, and Chapel Hill, Raleigh-Durham area) is not inexpensive. And it’s getting more and more crowded here. Driving on I-40 is a nightmare-- any time of day. I just read that 163,000 people moved to NC last year; many more are expected. Our roads and schools are so overcrowded, and our farms have been transformed into subdivisions and shopping centers. Sadly, this is probably the case throughout much of the country, though.</p>

<p>I also suspect that the sadness dke felt about Asheville, which is very beautiful and thriving, has to do with the fact that more and more very wealthy people from [mostly the NE] are moving there, somewhat displacing the relatively poorer natives. I find notable, whenever I visit, that there are some very fine homes and horse farms and new mansions all around, but you don’t have to drive out of your way to find the trailer parks. The wealthy people who have moved there see the trailer parks as “eyesores” and want them to disappear. So I think a lot of people are being displaced–or feel that they are. And there’s also a section of Asheville that’s very liberal–very blue-- set against the rest of the area up there that’s very, very conservative (politically and otherwise) and relatively poor–certainly in comparison to all the Northerners and transplanted Floridians who have moved there. Whenever I’m there, I find this divide really apparent. I would feel very sad living there among those two separate worlds. Again, I think this may be true in a lot of places, but–to my mind–this divide is very apparent in Asheville. So I suspect this is also part of the sadness dke sensed.</p>

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<p>VeryHappy, what you might want to consider is taking the steps now to get ready for the things you want to do later. Get the ball in play, so to speak. It’s worth it in the long run, and in my experience, it takes a very, very long time to transition from one sort of career to another - not necessarily financially but certainly psychologically. </p>

<p>Some years ago I intentionally got myself fired from my corporate position (merger, the two cultures were a disastrous mix and I hated it). I intentionally torpedoed a six figure position with full benefits, etc. - got the separation package. I wanted to quit very, very badly but forced myself to stick it out long enough to be terminated. The first year I floundered and almost caused a financial train wreck in our household. It took two-three years for me to become seriously launched as an entrepreneur, even though I had been studying, reading, evaluating and plotting and planning for YEARS. </p>

<p>It hasn’t been until the last 18 months or so that I was finally able get my brain to function in an entrepreneurial way - perhaps with some people the segue is faster, but with me, the psychological adjustment was much, much harder and took longer. </p>

<p>Today, I am finally, at long last, ridiculously happy. I can work from anywhere in the world I want to. I work when I want, sleep when I want, play when I want, and my benchmarks are seven figures, not six (haven’t made it yet but I can see the trend lines). The reality is that I do work a lot of 18 hour days - but it’s my call. But I went through some significant stress getting to this point…all self-inflicted…mostly because the psychological adjustment took so long. It seems that even when you intellectually “get” the major action steps and have everything working more or less correctly from an operational perspective, the mental/emotional perspective doesn’t seem to evolve or mature in lockstep.</p>

<p>Does that make sense? In any case, as it relates to your original question, if you are really wanting to do something else eventually, consider putting the framework in place now, in bits and pieces, so that it’s an easier process later (whenever your timeline for “later” happens to be). I am in my mid-40’s and think it will be another year or even two before I will be totally psychologically comfortable. Even so, I am already putting in the framework for what I will do in ten years - I envision that I will either be tired, or the business models with change, etc., so I need to have other options at the ready, and so am working on those things now (or at least trying to).</p>

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<p>I think that the sad, inescapable fact is the everyone gets bored with their job after a while. If you’re lucky, your job is variable, and your activities change within your job description. But eventually it catches up to you. Plus, we get more crotchety as we age (I know I have.) So it’s not surprising that a lot of people get bored, then frustrated, then come to hate their jobs - especially when all that comes together at a time when financial demands - tuition, anyone? - peak, creating the sense of being trapped.</p>

<p>Boy, depresses me just to read what I just wrote…</p>

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<p>Thank you all for your perspectives.</p>

<p>I have made a list of four things that I want to do. None of them on their own will pay me big bucks, but together they may, and one of them will even provide benefits. I’m going to take steps to get these four things off the ground. It’ll probably take a few years to get them all going, but this will give me the opportunity to segue into “retirement” – at least, retirement from the sucky corporate world – and into several things that I expect I will enjoy more.</p>

<p>Keep your fingers crossed!</p>

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<p>We hope your screen name comes to accurately reflect your state of mind:).</p>

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<p>VeryHappy, the cool thing is that the planning and preparation is fun, and very interesting. And since you can do it while still with a traditional employer, the stress is somewhat mitigated. </p>

<p>As to money, I’ve discovered that having a ton of money in the bank does NOT make up even slightly for being miserable; comparatively, being very, very excited and happy and in complete control of one’s destiny makes a dangerously low bank balance completely irrelevant - I know that probably doesn’t make a lot of sense but I swear it’s true.</p>

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<p>Where’d Everybody Go?
By Broderick Perkins, Realty Times</p>

<p>Americans were more likely to pull up roots in the Northeast and across the Rust Belt and put down stakes in the West and Southwest last year, according to a migration study by the nation’s largest mover.</p>

<p>St. Louis, MO-based United Van Lines’ “2006 Migration Study” of 227,254 interstate household moves in the 48 contiguous states and Washington, D.C. reveals a definitive migration pattern in the nation – at least among those who used the mover’s service.</p>

<p>United classifies each state as either “high inbound” (55 percent or more of the moves were into the state); “high outbound” (55 percent or more of moves out); or “balanced.”</p>

<p>Most states were “balanced,” but 12 states and the District of Columbia revealed definite inbound patterns while nine states revealed the opposite.</p>

<p>The South was a big draw as North Carolina came in as the top destination with a 64 percent inbound rate. Out West, Oregon was the second most popular inbound state at 62.5 percent.</p>

<p>Other states with high inbound rates were South Carolina, 60 percent; Nevada, 59.9 percent; Idaho, 59.3 percent; New Mexico and the District of Columbia, 57.9 percent; Alabama, 57.5 percent; Utah, 56 percent; Tennessee, 55.8 percent, and Montana, 55 percent.</p>

<p>On the outbound trail, Michigan tied with North Dakota for the top 66 percent outbound rate, followed by New Jersey, 60.9 percent; New York, 59.5 percent; Indiana, 58.2 percent; Pennsylvania, 57.0 percent; Louisiana, 56.4 percent and Ohio, 55.8 percent.</p>

<p>The study also found:</p>

<p>After being outbound last year, Nebraska, at 52.5 percent inbound in 2006, had 3.2 percent more moves into the state compared to 2005.
The year 2006 marked the first time in 25 years that Minnesota, at 51.3 percent inbound, saw more people moving in than moving out.
Missouri at 51.8 percent outbound, continued its 12-year outbound trend as 1 percent more residents left in 2006 compared to 2005.
Wisconsin, at 53.2 percent outbound, witnessed its lowest outbound influx since 2000.
Reeling less from Hurricane Katrina, Louisiana’s 56.4 percent outbound rate reflects 1.5 percent fewer people shipped out by United than those in 2005.
Considered a balanced state, Oklahoma, 50.0 percent inbound, saw a 3 percent increase over last year’s numbers.
California and Florida may be perceived as inbound states but they are also listed as “balanced” states and actually lean toward being outbound. California had a 53.9 percent outbound rate while Florida’s was 51.2 percent. </p>

<p>“Go West” has begun to take on new meaning.</p>

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<p>Alumother, I created my screen name the day we learned my son had been accepted ED to his first choice. That made me ecstatic then, and I’m still Very Happy about it. That won’t change!!</p>