I'd like to pay for a niece's private HS. Concerned about new school ruining GPA?

Parents Forum
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<p>Not all Catholic schools are the same. Not all public schools are the same.</p>

<p>At our local HS, a 92 is NOT an A. They do not “give out 3.8 like candy”; in fact, in my S’s class of approximately 180 only 2 students had a straight A average, and the tail end of the top 10% had B+ averages. Despite the fact that grades were unweighted, most of the kids in the top 10% were the kids who chose to take honors and AP classes because they were motivated students who preferred to be challenged and preferred to be in classes with other motivated students. His class also had superb college admissions results, with many kids in the top 20% or so attending attending Ivies and elite universities and LACs such as Wesleyan, JHU, Emory, Bowdoin, Bates, Colby, Williams, Smith and so forth. </p>

<p>It sounds like this is the crux of your niece’s problem. There is nothing <em>preventing</em> her from attempting to take advantage of the honors and AP classes her school offers. There is also no one <em>forcing</em> her or, apparently, inspiring her to do so, either at home or at school. She just isn’t interested. (Of course, at this point, she may in fact be more or less shut out of them because she’s on the wrong “track.”)</p>

<p>In my area, which has good public school systems, people seem to send their kids to the Catholic HS largely for one of three reasons: it is family tradition, the kid needs a more structured environment to thrive, or the kid is having problems in public school and the parents do not want to pay for the other privates or the kid can’t get in to them (very likely) or both.</p>

<p>I have young relatives who have gone to Catholic elementary, middle, and HS in Chicago and environs, and judging by the intelligence and intellectual habits of the kids, who are very different, and their scores on the city-wide placement test used for competitive admission to magnet HSs, their Catholic school is NOT preparing them terribly well. Nor am I impressed with the Catholic prep school one of them is currently attending. The curriculum and academics at the public magnet another will start in the fall are, on paper at least, vastly superior. We shall see.</p>

<p>In your niece’s case, the obvious problem is lack of motivation. She may be bright, but lacking in intellectual curiosity and/or academic inclination. As the headmaster of the private school my S attended for pre-school and K once told us, the most common motivations for people to switch their kids to private school is that they feel their kid is just cruising along in the middle of the pack and they hope that something the private offers–whether it be higher standards, a student body with more consistently high family aspirations, more personal attention, more discipline-- will make a difference.</p>

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<p>You are obviously hoping that they will be able to make up for the weaknesses of her parent. If you can afford it, it is certainly worth a shot. And if so, this is definitely the time to do it. (9th grade would have been even better! :slight_smile: )</p>

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<p>I have several responses:</p>

<p>1)The only reason why her grade may seem inflated is because she is taking the easiest courses her school offers. That is her fault. Not the fault of the school. It doesn’t make sense to transfer her into a school for harder classes when she isn’t taking advantage of what is currently being offered. </p>

<p>2) If your niece is hanging with the wrong crowd at a public school, she’s gonna hang with the wrong crowd at a private school. Catholic school students aren’t all angels who do their school work and go home and study. There are plenty of private school students who drink, do drugs, and party. So transferring because of her shady friends isn’t a good idea either. Your niece once again is choosing who she is with, just how she chose the rigor of her classes.</p>

<p>3) Why is her schooling any of your concern? If her mother has such a problem, she should take control of her child’s life and make her enroll in challenging courses and hang out with the right crowd. It’s not up to you to be her mother. If your sister is unhappy, and isn’t doing anything about it, then so be it. </p>

<p>4) You shouldn’t take on an unnecessary financial burden for someone else. You don’t know what your financial situation will be like in 2 years. You shouldn’t have to cut things out of your life for someone else’s child. Let her mother figure it out. A lot of private schools have financial aid plans so it will be affordable for her mother. </p>

<p>So in conclusion, it seems like your niece is the reason for her lofty grades (if you can even prove they are inflated. She could just be a good student). She chose not to challenge herself and that is why she isn’t being prepared for college. Once your sister found out about any honors track, you should have pushed her to have her D enrolled in it. Her GPA at the Catholic school would probably be the exact same as her GPA in her public school if she were to take honors and AP classes.</p>

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<p>@Consolation‌
I agree with you!</p>

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<p>In our neck of the woods the public high schools are much more rigorous than most of the privates, which are known to have serious grade inflation. People here send their kids to Catholic or other private schools because of reasons not related to academics. Our public HS does not give out A’s or A+'s " like candy," and my D works her tail off in rigorous classes for her top GPA. It sounds like this young lady may not be very motivated but I would not be quick to blame the high school. Can she take one or two honors classes at her current school? If she has a 3.8 she should be permitted to take at least one or two. This may introduce her to a new group of friends and may serve to motivate her. What kind of bad habits is the public school encouraging? Do schools really encourage bad habits? Would she be able to handle honors classes at the new school? I agree with MommaJ and Consolation. I also agree with Annie in that your niece is choosing to take the easier classes and is also making her own social choices which may follow her to the new school. </p>

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<p>@Consolation‌

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<p>Correct x3.</p>

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<p>Yes, that is the goal.</p>

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<p>AuntJulia I meant to add that it is very kind and caring of you to be there for your niece. Good luck. </p>

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<p>I’m not oblivious to “bad” kids being at a Catholic school. But I believe there are fewer. I also think it’s easier for a 15 y.o. girl to make different types of friends in a new environment, versus distancing herself from those old friends at the same school.</p>

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<p>Very true. And of course, the school can kick out those who are caught misbehaving or grossly under-performing. If they want to, that is.</p>

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<p>To encourage this to happen, I’m offering to pay the difference, which may be 100% (for 2014-2015) due to missed deadlines and such.</p>

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<p>But it’s not like switching schools will make her stop hanging with her friends. There’s Facebook, twitter, and Instagram still. Also, please make sure to pay attention to my 1st, 3rd, and 4th response before you make this decision. In my mind, every problem you have with your nieces school can be solved with a little bit of effort and initiative on her part-- something she will need even more so to be successful in a catholic school.</p>

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<p>After reading your earlier response, I would encourage her to enroll in honors and AP classes. Having a 3.8 is pointless if you’re taking art, health, cooking, and gym. Colleges will see that she isn’t challenging herself. I would have her switch to all honors classes, and at least 1 AP. Those can increase in number each year. Being in more rigorous classes would also push her towards a new circle of friends. In high school, you don’t find your true circle of friends until (at least) junior year.</p>

<p>Also, her mom needs to be seriously educated about her daughters education and (for the future) the college application process. Not sure if this is her only child or if she has others, but she’s really holding her back.</p>

<p>Not sure how courses work at Catholic schools, but your niece could still very well choose to not challenge herself. </p>

<p>tl;dr : My final advice would be for her to stay at her public school and get involved with ECs and APs. That $10,000 you’ll save could be better invested toward SAT classes in the future (or tutors if she struggles with harder classes) and college expenses.</p>

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<p>I would start at what state does she live in and what type of college situation might make the most sense for her and work backwards. Many publics care only about GPA or even class rank for admission and merit money. Would she lower her admission chances and affordability if her GPA dipped? For some kids it may make sense to pull back a bit (not that it does here, but worth considering). If you don’t plan to help with college funding it might be worth really checking her options to see where she sits now and where she would need to be to remain viable.</p>

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<p>Why don’t you, the mom, and your niece visit her counselor when they return to school and go over her class schedule, previous class schedules, and go from there to see what classes she can take to challenge herself (of course, only if your niece really wants to be challenged). They may also have programs like AVID which would help her to stay on track academically for college, encourage her to take AP’s and be involved in extracurriculars. </p>

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<p>I get the feeling that this is more about removing her from a “bad” crowd than it is about challenging her academically. AP and Honors classes, EC’s, volunteering all of those things will make her ready for college. She can do that in a public or private HS setting. I think this is about wanting her away from a certain group of friends. JMHO</p>

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<p>@bisouu In that case, that is an asinine reason to switch schools, especially since the niece is a freshman. Few people have the same friends from freshman to sophomore year, let alone freshman year to senior year</p>

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<p>She may find a different type of student in more challenging classes (AP or just more difficult classes) as well as participating in extracurriculars. My D and a few of he friends took AP classes mainly because they didn’t care for some of the kids taking the regular classes. </p>

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<p>If it were only that easy. @Consolation‌ hit the nail on the head: I don’t have faith in my sister, so I’m hoping this change of scenery will encourage what the parents are not. And perhaps even the parents will buy in and modify their expectations once they mingle with some of the Catholic school families.</p>

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<p>However . . . I have seen many people in my kids’ classes follow a crowd off an academic cliff. For a kid in the middle they will often rise or sink to the prevailing expectations of their peers. In that case it could be a very wise move.</p>

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<p>To be clear, this is not about challenging her. The public she is at has an honors track and plenty of AP courses to challenge its students. This is about cultivating growth, structure, discipline, developing good study habits… and a new set of friends.</p>

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<p>That’s what I thought …as long as she is up for the challenge and you are willing to foot the bill then I would say go for it. Just don’t be surprised if she still is in contact with her old friends, doesn’t change her work habits (because she will have no one at home to encourage her unless you are living there too) and she resists this new found discipline. Go in with your eyes wide open and your expectations realistic…</p>