Give them what they want, or money. The gift is for them, not for you. If you are giving them a gift to make their life better./happier give them what they ask. If the gift is to make you happy give them what you want.
Your idea of a planter filled with all sorts of things sounds really fun and generous. It could get pricy, though, and sometimes it’s hard to know what items are really needed.
I like the idea of a single larger gift right now, perhaps with a smaller gift when you visit. Though it’s great to watch someone open a gift, it can be just as rewarding knowing that the recipient is getting lots of use and joy out of a gift even though you weren’t there to present it to them.
Is there somewhere they could put the grill now, even without a patio? If so, that would be something they could use right away. Let them go shopping now and find the one they want, or send them links to a few options and let them choose. Then pay for it! Even though you’re not there to present it to them, they’ll get that it’s a gift from you.
When our old grill bit the dust we thought we’d find good deals around Labor Day, but inventory was low at that time and there were no deals. Most grill sales seem to occur earlier in the summer, around Father’s Day. I wouldn’t wait if I were you.
DH is a very handy Mr Fix-It type and adept at all kinds of household maintenance tasks but found that our grill took much longer to assemble than expected. If I were you, I’d pay for assembly and delivery.
Then you can treat everybody to a special meal on the grill when you visit, bring them an additional gift, or take them shopping (for gardening or household tools, plus a couple of flashlights for power outages!) if your budget allows.
Regardless, you’ll know that in the meantime they are enjoying a month of grilling in their new house. How delightful is that?!
For what it’s worth:
About 2 years ago my mom sold the house we grew up in and moved into a condo. (It’s in Senior housing, and a wonderful choice for her!!!)
I went by on moving day, to help my siblings move all her stuff in.
Then the next morning I went food shopping and stocked her fridge and freezer.
She was thrilled!!!
Thanks, all. They really don’t need other appliances (they bought their own washer/dryer when they moved in) to major furniture (which I would have a hard time buying anyway.) Although they want a grill “sometime,” they really want to wait until they have a deck/patio to put it on. I tried explaining that WE had a grill before we had a deck and just moved the grill in and out of the garage…but I just got “the look” from D. Apparently I am an old crazy person…
Anyway, I’m guessing that once they think it over, we’ll get them a grill – and maybe some smaller stuff, too, but I’ll try not to go overboard on that. Did I mention that we’re also paying for their wedding next May?
After we bought our first house, my father bought us a grill.
My husband was horrified. He said that he could stand having a wife and a job and a mortgage, but owning a grill made him feel like a middle-aged has-been. YMMV.