Sounds like the employee was offended by the comment which in turn tells me they are frustrated with both the coo-worker and the boss.
This was the end of the conversation. You’d think Asperger’s, but no. After telling me why everyone else was bad and wrong and being told she had told everyone how to improve and they didn’t I told her I knew she could work out the communication issues and that I always was her biggest supporter she laid that one on me. She’s very difficult to get along with and thinks way higher of her work performance than it warrants. I get why her boss is at the end of her rope with her. I just let it go at the time and let it hang in the air.
There are people who just cannot get out of their own way!
Here are a few things that seem to be helping in my interactions with my sometimes disagreeable coworker:
- I respond to the substance of his questions and criticisms, not the tone with which they are expressed. He’s either blowing off steam with his tone or he’s trying to get a rise out of people, and in either case, the best response seems to be to ignore the tone.
- I keep in mind that different people have different styles of interaction.
- I try to model respectful communication. Even though there is room for different styles, we do have to communicate sometimes with members of the organization for which we work, and members and other customers might give this person less slack than he gets from his coworkers. Their reactions to him are his problem, not mine, but to the extent his behavior reflects on the organization as a whole, his communication style is relevant to me.
- I also try to model not getting bent out of shape about things. This is challenging because subduing my perfectionism, especially around a bunch of other perfectionists, isn’t easy.
Good luck. As you can see, your situation resonates with me.
Work situations are so complex. Sometimes you have one intelligent/sane/excellent worker who is stuck with a team of idiots/crazies/incompetents. (Pretty much the basis for most sitcoms…) Sometimes the boss is removed from the situation and is fooled into thinking that one of the crazies is “employee of the year”-- because he/she is a good actor who turns on the charm when the boss comes around. (Not saying that is the case here, just something I’ve seen a few times.)
Obviously this person is frustrated with her coworkers’ poor quality work. I’m just trying to imagine things from her point of view. . .How do you know her high opinion of her own work is unwarranted? Through actual observation–is she, by nature, “overconfident but mediocre?” Or are you going by what her supervisor said? Is that supervisor devaluing her work or taking credit for it? When you framed the problem as a “communication issue,” that probably angered her because she said she had already communicated to her coworkers’ what to fix/how to fix it, and they failed to follow intructions. So her coworkers incompetence/ laziness is not the problem? ? It’s HER inability to communicate with them?? Not sure if there is any truth to this imaginary scenario, but if there is, it might explain why she was P.O.'d and might feel that you totally don’t understand the situation.(Maybe everyone else actually IS bad and wrong?) I would talk to her privately. IMO, this person needs to vent. Just listen to her. She wants to be thanked, appreciated for her work. Ask for her input/observations. Don’t have to use any if them, but she wants to be heard/understood.
Honestly, she sounds like one of my sisters, who is a perfectionist and a very useful, productive, accurate, efficient worker. But no one can meet her standards, so she is usually annoyed with her co-workers and takes on extra work to fix others’ mistakes. She has sometimes had supervisors who are very glib, cheerful but lazy people who are able to BS the boss. When downsizing happens, Sis has usually been one to go–because she’s critical and not pleasant to be around.
Wow @atomom, wouldn’t it be funny if it was your sister. Perfectionism can be great, but not when it then takes you twice as long to do something simple. I’ve heard her out for a long time. I also always first look into whether the comments are warranted. But it’s one of those things where you try and help and get slapped for the effort, that comment was made as I was commiserating with her and acknowledging her frustration. I would never speak to my boss or the owner of a company the way she has, and as an owner I have never spoken to another colleague or employee like that. I do respect and appreciate anyone who puts their effort in working for me. This one however can’t quite see the forest through the trees and doesn’t realize how her comments come off. I’m a big girl, I can handle far worse than that, but not everyone is like me. I hate to say it, I’m preparing for her to leave now.
the employee sounds like an idiot. why would you say anything other than, “Thanks boss, I really appreciate your support” ??
My coworker said to me that he has decided that he will always express his feelings and he doesn’t care how that affects other people. I did not respond to that honest, but somewhat shocking, revelation.